Guys, help! How do I approach this situation? What do I do?

Long story short.. Been seeing a guy for 2 months. He told
me straight up he was looking for a girlfriend. We see each other 1-2 times a week, go on dates and during the week we generally chill at his because of work the next day. We started sleeping together when we had the chat of him saying he wasn't talking to or interested in anyone other than me and things are great. Monday night I saw him and everything seemed Norma. He wasn't acting any different, was still loving, affectionate, told me how much he's missed me and we were chatting like normal and at the end of the night I noticed he was getting tired and I told him I would go and he told me to stay and lay with him a little while longer. We talk most days but he's not the best texter.. Some days he's a quick replier other days there's 4+ hour gaps in between the messages it just depends on what he's doing really but this week has made me wonder what's going on. I haven't heard from him so Wednesday I asked him how his day was and he didn't reply until the following night saying he was sorry he's just been smashing gym after work and passing out and then asked how my day was. I replied and haven't heard anything from him since it is now Sunday night.
Should i send a message asking if I've done something wrong? Should I just wait it out? Help!! How do I approach this? Not knowing what's going on is making me anxious. If he's not interested anymore I'd like him to tell me or if I've done something then talk to me about it. What do I do?


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6

Most Helpful Guy

  • hmmn im just assuming here but sounds like he just doesn't want commitment, he probably does enjoy being with you and all but he might be afraid to be committed but still some things dont really add up especially when he says he's on the gym and doesn't reply how is that possible? if it was me and im really interested in this girl id give her all my attention and I've there's really no excuse to not text back in the gym everyone carries their phoe all over now, and another thing is that he always says he passes out from sleep thats just odd, i can maybe also assume he's a player and has another girl around there and well since you and him already had sex well he's loosing interest now.. but my advice its that IF he does reply sometime back to you ask him straightfoward whats up? why he does what he does

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    • Without sounding arrogant he's not a player he's a bit insecure and he's not the most attractive guy. He doesn't have many friends on Facebook and doesn't do much other then work hang out with his brother and his brothers girlfriend and go to the gym. But he's not a player he's a relationship kinda guy. He likes to be in a relationship that's why I'm confused. Should I message him tomorrow and ask if I've done something? And see what he says?

What Guys Said 5

  • Well, I don't think working out and going to sleep qualify as a reason to ignore someone. 4 hour gaps in text, it happens. We all get busy sometimes, but come on, it's a little extreme. Wait him out, don't text him. I know the anxiety is there and you'll want to buckle, but don't do it. Next time you see each other, do not sleep with him. Make him wait, see if he starts to text on a regular basis, then try it again. If he just kind of ignores or doesn't seem to care, it's because he doesn't. We are dicks, treat him like one.

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  • First it very hard for us read you what you want. Sometime you girl throw in stupid test on us. You also be dishonest with him, because you probably show no sign you want be his girlfriend or how should go about this. I have girl interest in me but every time i ask be my girlfriend, and always get excuse and they are very lame but i get call out no where or text showing the girl is interested.

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  • HONESTLY sometimes people truly truly do have shit going on in their lives that doesn't involve the person they are seeing at all. I would say give him some space (again most likely not your fault) to figure things out. Now if this continues past a week or two I would probably take initiative and ask him if he wants to talk about whatever his recent problems are/were.

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  • Nah. Go ahead and ask him. You probably won't get any sleep tonight if you don't say anything. Some people are real flaky, I swear.

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  • Talk to him. As a guy, we like it when a girl can be honest and upfront with us as it saves us a lot of trouble. He'll probably respect you more for being upfront with him, even if the answer he gives you isn't necessarily what you want...

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    • I asked him if I did something wrong and he responded saying no no I haven't, he just had a really busy weekend and then asked how my weekend was then said his mother had skin cancer cut out so he's just been spending time with her
      I felt terrible

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