Why does it seem that older men come across as more possessive and less easygoing than younger men?

I'm middle aged but mostly go out with men 20 years younger than me, not because I'm some cougar, but because they seem much cooler about casual dating. Older men seem to have more of a tit-for-tat sense that if they bought you a drink they should regard you as serious potential partner material and get very touchy if you won't agree to a next date. I feel more intensity from men my age that if you are talking online, the next logical step is having a weekend away or something, with an undercurrent of anger if that isn't even close to what you are looking for. Why might this be?


Most Helpful Guy

  • I had a 2 month sex fest with older women (40-45). In short, I tried for all women, but in terms of hook ups, the older women were far more easy going and open minded. I had a great time and the funniest thing is that I think I can only attract older women and not girls my age or younger. Then I read a local adult sex forum about the old guys complaining about women in this culture wanting younger men. So my theory right? : many young men (especially on his site, for example) can't get women in their groups, for whatever reason (young girls like bad boys, girls want the jocks etc) but they still pretty cool. But the older women are more relaxed and over this shit and wouldn't mind a fit, young lad as a short term partner. So basically there are great options for even older ladies because there are guys like me who are fit, but have old school manners and actually gel with you. This obviously is a bastard for older guys because young guys are taking over a bit there too and these older guys may want to settle down and have a sense of desperate urgency about it.


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What Guys Said 2

  • Well times have changed since the 80s and guys now days are more casual about sex and dating. Not to mention the fact they are young, they have their lives ahead of them, most guys don't want to get tied down in a relationship when they could be out having sex with different women.

    Not to say all guys in their 20's are like that.

    • The older guys could learn something from them. ;)

  • younger guys r more laid-back by default


What Girls Said 1

  • I don't find this at all, most of the men in their 40s have been down the track of marriage, partners, what ever relationship status you want to call it and have found a sense of them being guarded to avoid a serious relationship with you, their demeanour is that they are happy to be with you without being 'possessed' as so to speak, maybe you attract those sort of guys? and what nationality are they? That says a lot too... :))

    • These are Anerican men on dating sites. I find the ones my age talk about money on dates, like they are just looking for someone to help pay bills

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    • I'm not looking for anything serious, but if I do find something longer I fully expect it will be with someone young. Yeah that Neanderthal thing: young guys don't take issue with women being independent

    • yes I agree, well good luck in your search, you will find your partner as there are so many young menout there happy to have a relationship with older women. ...:))