If a guy looks hot and dresses well the first 3 dates then all of a sudden lets his appearance go downhill am I a bitch for telling him to improve?

I mean if it's to the point where the first 3 dates I was crazily turned on by him and on the 4th date completely turned off by his appearance should I say something or just dump him?


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15

Most Helpful Guy

  • No I think you have a right to say it.

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What Guys Said 14

  • You should dump him, but that's mainly for his benefit. He shouldn't be with a romantic partner that focused on outward appearance.

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  • Dump him... woah that's a bit harsh... It's perfectly fine to tell him to work on his appearance but you got to know why he has started to dress poorly after the first few dates... may be he has become all to comfortable with you and don't feel the need to impress you with his attire... on the surface it doesn't look a major problem that should lead to breaking up with him...

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    • I talked to him about it and he refuses to chsnge. He said he was dressing up for me on the 1st couple of dates - he wasn't even dressed up, wearing jeans and a tshirt. so he is saying that when he was dressed like a slob that is how he always dresses and the 1st couple dates he wasn't dressed like his usual self.

    • Well then it's your call on whether you can live with his dressing style or want to move on... There could always be a middle ground provided you like him that much to accommodate his attitude... If he could dress up for the first few dates then he could surely make some changes to make you happy and if he can't, then obviously he doesn't worth your time...

  • The last thing a guy wants is a woman who wants to change him. I think it's better to just let him go. You two are likely not compatible.

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    • But he changed! He dressed nicely at first then let himself go.

    • Yes, and since you are so put off by it, I don't believe you are the right girl for him. You can't expect to tell another person what to do, or to change (or to change back in this case). It just doesn't work. Likely, he's a guy who dresses very casually most of the time, and was dressing up for you. And figured the time had passed to impress you in that way, and that he could be himself again. If he starts (or continues again) dressing up, just because you ask/want him to, it will naturally lead to resentment.

  • No, you are not a bitch. Dump him. Imagine what sort of repulsive beast he would be after a couple of years of marriage.
    Get out now and consider yourself to have dodged a bullet.

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  • did you ask him what happened? Maybe he had some extenuating circumstances that made it difficult for him to achieve the look he had and still get to your date on time.

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    • He said he was just trying to keep warm by wearing daggy clothes even though it was just as cold on the first 3 dates and he was dressed nicely he told me he was uncomfortable on first 3 dates lol. It's only been about 15 or so degrees on all our dates!

  • You are not a bitch in any way infact you are doing him a favour, instead of dumping him outright you are letting it slide and telling him hey come on just dress better or I will live. If he is serious about you he will improve.

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  • Im the last person who would care about clothing and stuff, BUUT if he was dressing nice in the first 3 dates and suddenly changed then he wasn't being himself and was just doing it to impress u and that's a HUGE turnoff to anyone so u are in the right

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  • if its one date that his appearance went downhill then you're jumping to conclusions. see if it continues and if it does then talk to him about it. if he isn't okay with it then go separate ways

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    • It was 3 times in a row

  • Yes. What if he was turned off by your apperance and said u could a t least run a brush through you hair and wear something nice. Jean is this u cause it sounds like your craziness? ?

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  • Most guys tendn't care what girls think. Despite your prostrations, he's probably not caring.

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  • No you should get what you deserve.

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  • He should be dressing down, if you can't be comfortable around each other then what's the point?

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  • As long as if he does the same to you, you don't complain

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  • Not at all your just telling him the true, You want to find out if the dude is fake or his only dressing up just to impress you.

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