Is it rational to still have feelings for an ex or a friend and starting liking someone else a lot?

I'm not talking about being in love, but I still feel a strong attachment to my ex and best friend. I met a new guy who's in my class and I like him a lot, so does he.


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Most Helpful Guy

  • Yes, completely. I would say if you didn't, you would be irrational. Your heart isn't a single item to be passed around, it is something that is shared.

    I know your underlying confusion comes from the principle of monogamy. Monogamy is just a social construct, I find it to be somewhat irrational. Being able to understand it as only that can help shape your beliefs and avoid these inner conflicts.

    I am not saying you shouldn't practice monogamy, but at least understanding that the heart isn't owned by one person can make you feel more comfortable and healthy in your relationships.

    What you are experiencing is completely natural, the pain and confusion ascociated with it isn't coming from an innate moral wrongness, but rather, it is in response of your human nature clashing with societal conventions that are taken for granted.

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What Guys Said 1

  • sure... happens all the time

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What Girls Said 2

  • The quest for love continues...

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  • I did have crush on two guys at the same time once.

    One a little more than the other.

    I didn't think it was weird as I was allowing myself to do that

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