He asked his mom before me?

My boyfriend and I have been together almost 5 years. I'm 25 and he is 28. We live together. He was laid off recently due to no fault of his own his job was doing cutbacks. He told me the other day that he asked to borrow $300 from his mom. Which i understand he may need to borrow money due to his job situation until he finds another job. I'm just hurt that he went to his mom before me his own girlfriend. I mean we live together for crying out loud definitely been together long enough where if he needs something I would think I would be his first go to person. Is this a sign that he doesn't see me as serious as I thought? He is 28 I guess I also feel that at this stage of the game we should be relying more on each other for emergency needs than anyone else. He is a full fledge adult.


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Most Helpful Guy

  • It has nothing to do with you, society has it set up as if guys are the main providers. Maybe he saw it as emasculating asking his girlfriend for money because he couldn't hold on to his job.

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    • To me if anything asking for money from mommy at 28 would be more emasculating. I just see it that when you have a serious partner into adulthood that they come first

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    • I guess that's true because he feels the need to provide for me. You know how you say it could be emasculating for a guy to ask for money from his gf? Well women a lot of times can see it as a shot to their womenhiid when a guy goes to his mom for a certain need before his serious girlfriend or wife like his women can't provide for him we can take it as an attack on our women hood.. or if the wife/gf/fiance feels she is coming second to his mother women hate that shit. No girl wants to be put as second best. So I think that's why I took it that way

    • I still think he did the right thing, if you know how many couples have broken up due to financial matters... due to money not being payed back, or not enough money being made etc.. you'd start to see things from your point of view.

      Sure right now it's 300, but if he doesn't get a job soon it's another 300... and before long you'll think he's leeching off of you. Your boyfriend decided to put his relationship above it all by not asking you for money, don't take away from his gesture.

What Guys Said 3

  • Maybe he would feel like less of a man if he asked you for money, like he feels like is suppose to provide for you, not the other way around. I know it sounds stupid, but I am sure his pride is already hurt from the job loss.

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  • maybe he was shy askin for money from u? :|

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    • You think he would be more shy asking for money from his mom since he lives with me you knkow? He is an adult. Its not like he is 16 anymore. I make a lot of money so its not that i don't make a lot. I would just think I would come first considering we are at the stage we are at

    • ... or... maybe he thought his mom would give him money MORE easier? hm?

    • I don't know why he would think that. If anything the person he lives with and wakes up to every morning and that he plans on spending his life with u think would be more willing to five it to him. Its a what's nine is yours and vice versa type of relationship

  • he's probably embarrassed about feeling like he needs to borrow money, which is a typical trait for most guys. it would be far more comfortable to ask a parent, who you've known for 28 years, than a girlfriend whom you'd like to impress. I wouldn't worry about it at all if I were you

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    • But that's the thing after 5 years of dating he shkuld feel more comfortable with his own girlfriend that he is looking to have a future with than anyone else and you mention he has known them for 28 years I don't know what difference that makes? He will never know me as long as he knows his parents does that mean he should never be as comfortable with me as his parents? I mean if he feels comfortable enough to live with me shouldn't he feel more comfortable with me than anyone else?

What Girls Said 2

  • Your boyfriend is a man. He would want to appear that he's the independent one in every occasion, and though you have been together for so long, of course he would have cut off a large chunk of his ego to borrow money from you, and he's embarrassed because he doesn't have a job anymore. Please don't take his action for a bad thing. You could talk to him about it, if you want to. :)

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    • But why wouldn't he be embarrassed by someone else? That's what hurts me the most is he is basically saying in not as comfortable with you as my mom when after 5 years and being serious and living together that he would feel the most comfortable with me

    • Well, I think he wants to appear as the provider. If he borrows money from you, it would appear that he cannot be more.. 'masculine' to you. I know it really hurts, but that's how men thinks and acts. Did you try talking to him? :)

  • he probably didn't feel right taking money from you I don't know

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