Guys, I want your advice. If you read this how would you take it?

So I've been seeing someone for 2 months. I want to talk to him about this in person but sometimes I find writing down my thoughts before I say it helps me to understand and stop myself from babbling on. Is this a bad idea to say?
How would you feel if the girl you we're seeing said this? I don't want to seem like a head case im just trying to be true to him and myself. Tell me what you think.

"I've been thinking and wanted to know where your heads at with us? I'm not trying to pressure you or trap you I promise, my reason for asking is because by now you would have an idea of the kind of person I am and whether you saw this turning into a relationship in the future. I don't want to invest anymore of myself or my feelings if you have already ruled out a relationship with me. I think your a great guy so just wanted to see where your heads at, because maybe we want different things and that's okay, id just rather know now so I can find someone who wants the same things as me."

He told me when we first met that he wanted a girlfriend but we didn't know each other well enough to know whether we would work as a couple or not so now that we have a decent idea of who each other are I thought I would bring it up? What do you think?


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8

Most Helpful Guy

  • Try saying it differently so he gets it without freaking him out. Maybe on you're next date say something like: Gee I sure am happy we started dating. We just seem to click so well. What do you think? Do you think it's working out or not or are you undecided? He will probably give a short answer as we guys tend to do. Unless he's unhappy then he will
    probably say more. Like, I'm not sure this is working. I think we made better friends than mates... blah blah blah
    Best of luck to you. Hope this helped.

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What Guys Said 7

  • I think you still babbled lol, but I do commend you on writing down your thoughts first and then also telling it to the guy instead of giving out "hints".
    Now, here's a tip, guys are simple, you wrote a whole book to ask one question, how about using this
    "So... are we dating now?" or
    "Are we exclusive now" something along those lines.

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  • If it were written it would be weird. Write it down to sort out your feelings if it helps, but these conversations are best had face to face. In writing it comes off as an ultimatum.

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    • Yeah I meant i would say it in person I just wrote it down to see how it sounded

  • it's not a problem to write things down if that makes it easier for you and I say go for it girl and have fun together

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  • you should tell him that and talk to him about it. seeing someone for two months is a long time especially if you do not know where it is going.

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  • I think it sounds perfectly fine. It's not like you're being pushy, or anything like that, you're just being objective about getting into a relationship.

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  • i dont think its a bad idea go for it

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  • I really like your honesty. You should definitely send this message to him. Otherwise, worst case scenario, there is a chance he's going to use you for sex and then not want a relationship with you.

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