Guys, he said he started resenting me because he was spending more time with me and he needed alone time as well?

My boyfriend and I started officially dating about 2/3 months ago, since then we have spent nearly every weekend together and nights through the week. I was starting to feel like we were spending too much time together but I didn't think too much about it. At the weekend I caught him flirting with another girl through text and when I confronted him he told me he was in a difficult place with our relationship and felt we wanted different levels of commitment. He said he needs more space than he thinks I need, he thought I wanted to spend all our time together.
I mentioned to him that I would be open to having some more space between us and slowing things down and that I felt the issue was with our communication, maybe I had been too needy and he hadn't communicated his needs. I said I needed to know I could trust him but I also take responsibility for smothering him.
He said that he felt horrible for this but he had started to resent the time we were spending together as he is someone that likes his own time and he sometimes needs that space to recharge.
I have made plans with some girlfriends to catch up this weekend so that he can do his own thing and not feel pressured to be around me. What other steps should I be taking/considering?

Should I be prepared for a break up or is this recoverable?


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Most Helpful Guy

  • Recoverable - although I would back away and let him do his thing while you do yours. Communicate the boundaries for the distancing and what you both expect then take it from there.

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What Guys Said 4

  • As long as you continue to communicate and be self aware then you should be fine. The problem occurs when you don't address the issue and it begins to build into something much worse.

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  • Be prepared for break up. He has already found someone else. They will more than likely "hook up" this weekend since he knotted your going to be busy this weekend. Hate to sound grim but...

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  • If he was serious about your relationship he would be totally okay spending time with you. I guess this just isn't working out. Time to move on.

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  • You should break up with him. The guy obviously wants something casual if he's flirting with other girls. It means he views you as nothing more than a fuck buddy especially if it's been only 2/3 months.

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