Girls, I have symptomatic oral herpes. What do I do?

Is this or isn't this a big deal? I often forget about it, but it's probably just a dealbreaker right? How am I supposed to become physically intimate with someone when I know I could be giving them an incurable disease? If I tell someone I can expect it to be an instant dealbreaker, right? But if I don't and they get an outbreak (even if it's the only one they ever have in their lifetime then I'm going to get dumped even harder.

I'm a virgin, I've never had a partner or even kissed someone and I don't want to spend my life that way. So what do I do? How am I suposed to have have a lovelife while keeping HSV-1 in mind?

I'm aware of all the statistics and data in case you were wondering.


Most Helpful Girl

  • Well, it's for some girls quite a dealbreaker. Do you often have an outbreak? It's only contentious when you have an outbreak so keep your immune system high and don't kiss or get intimate when you have it. You could also date a girl with the same thing, but don't do oral when you have an outbreak, because you could get HSV-2 from 1 when giving oral.

    • "because you could get HSV-2 from 1 when giving oral." ... ah... no, you can't upgrade a virus from type 1 to type 2, it's not a computer virus.

      You can however, get infected by both type 1 and 2 by giving or receiving oral sex.

      But you can't get type 2 FROM type 1.

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    • @oracle12c you actually can get genital herpes from a cold sore if you receive oral from someone with a cold sore. It might not be totally the same virus, but does the same thing.

    • @spuitkaas

      I know, that is what I said.

      But your statement " because you could get HSV-2 from 1 when giving oral." ... doesn't make sense, in any meaningful way.

      HSV-2 and HSV-1 can both be genital herpes and/or cold sore (oral herpes). You seems to imply HSV-1 is oral herpes or cold sore, and HSV-2 is genital herpes... if so, then you are wrong. Both can be both.

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What Girls Said 2

  • Isn't herpes simplex only contagious when there's a sore present? Just don't kiss anyone or anything when you have a cold sore. My dad has it and has never given it to my mother. They've been married 30 years and been together like 35. You'll be fine.

    • There is a slight chance of passing it on when there are no sores present. There's symptomatic and non-symptomatic. About 2% of HSV-1 cases are symptomatic, but as high as 90% of the population gets infected with HSV-1 by the time they are 40, so considering your parents have been together for so long I would think that it's very likely that your mother has non-symptomatic HSV-1 by now and I wouldn't be surprised if you have it too.

  • I understand how horrible this could be for you. Consider using a dental dam when giving oral and don't kiss when you get outbreaks. This is because you can't pass anything on when you don't have any mouth sores. It's not the end of the world ;)

    • There is a slight chance of passing it on when there are no sores present.

      If there's even a tiny risk shouldn't I be warning girls I have an incurable virus?

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    • That sure sounds like the end of the world to me...

    • The end of the world is what you make of it. If you're willing to give up hope now, then so be it.

What Guys Said 3

  • get a girlfriend who already has herpes

    • Easier said.

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    • Well than in asking how am I supposed to swing that?

    • idk? go on online dating sites and specify you have that and you only want date people who have the similar thing?

  • See a doctor would be the right thing to do or get over the counter drugs if you prefer.

    Unless you by symptomatic mean conical oral herpes, then it's doctor only.

    • Conical?

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    • I don't think it's called chronic. I think it's called symptomatic and asypmtomatic, because once you get it then you're stuck with it, it's incurable. Most people don't experience symptoms and some who get infected only get symptoms when first infected. But we're still all infected people, it doesn't go away so in a sense it's always chronic and there's no other kind.

    • "Most people don't experience symptoms "... I was specifically referring by the term chronic to those who DO experience symptoms recurring and frequently. And that is what the word 'chronic' means, if you called it something else in English fine, but I did express myself fairly clear (misspellings set aside).

  • Yeah its a big deal! So big infact the govt. In the 60s was gonna put all those with herpes on a island like prisoners. But they have medication for it now

    • There's medication for the sores but it's still incurable and the real problem it's just unattractive to think about. Unless they already know the details about it then people are going to be bothered by it.