Girls, I don't want to put up with it. How do I say this to her without her flipping shit?

So, there's this girl that I met online. We really fell for eachother (if you think teens can't fall in love, fine. But that's not the point). Over time we dated a bit but then decided that we should wait to date until we meet in person. Here's the thing.. she isn't really the most mature person on the planet. That being whenever I get a girlfriend that isn't her she makes me feel like shit about it and then makes me feel like a terrible person when I do snap at her for being a little bitch about it. I love her, really and I truly do see us being togather in the future but when it comes to this she can be manipulative af. I don't think she means to be but I'm just done putting up with it. I can date who I please. Today I got a girlfriend. How do I tell this girl that I'm dating again without her starting drama?


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Most Helpful Girl

  • I dont get how you say you could have a relationship with the girl online but you still want to have a girlfriend in real life. Anyway i agree she is acting sort of immature, if you guys aren't dating then who you have a relationship with is none of her business unless your girlfriend treats you like crap. Or she just really cares about you and is therefore acting really over protective. Now if you are going to tell her, you need to stand your ground, you can't change how she reacts but you can show her she isn't going to get her own way. If this is really a big problem in your friendship then perhaps break it off (you seem fine dating the girls you know in real life despite the fact that you said you care about her) or just dont mention it to her or even just explain that you are tired of her reactions. If she gets angry at that then maybe it isn't meant to be. If I was her i probably wouldn't act like that but i can see why she is. you have told her you want to be with her and yet you are dating other people which is just probably frustrating for her and confusing. Whatever you do, good luck

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    • Finally someone gets it.

What Girls Said 9

  • well... It doesn't seem like you like her that much. If you loved her, you wouldn't want to date anyone else. believe me, I'm not that much older than you, but it seems like I've had a lot more experience with real world dating. She is obviously mad because you said that you loved her and if she loves you, or thinks she loves you, you are putting her through torture. No wonder she is upset. My boyfriend waited a long time for me to be ready for a relationship, but he actually loved me and I actually loved him. We waited and worked on it. No, he was never controlling and neither was i. We never had to because we were committed. Love means a lot and should not be thrown around lightly. It is manipulative to tell your side lady that you love her, but not act like it and see other people. Yes, you are single and can see whoever you want, but its ungentlemanly to string along and hurt women in your wake who are waiting for you to keep your word. You may think that it is wrong that you "have to wait for her" if thats how you feel, get on a plane and go to her or let her go. Don't string girls along, don't have side women, don't have backup women, be a man and commit. If you think long distance is suffering, than you have no business starting a long distance relationship. Your comment of thinking teens can't fall in love does not relate to this. When I was your age, I was engaged to an older man living farther away and preparing for a wedding, unfortunately life happened. Even though it didn't work out, we still committed to each other and that meant something. That bond was made and is never broken even though we moved on. It was hard dating again knowing that I had a bond with another man. Since then, I have had several serious relationships. None of which were not long distance. If you are even considering someone else, then you need to sit down with yourself and decide who it is you want. right now, you are being disloyal to several women. Grow up and be a man.

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    • ^^ every word of this 👌

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    • I did honey. That's why I phrased my response as carefully as I did. I understand exactly where you are coming from and that is my response to it. No need to get testy with me and no need for you to try to teach me a lesson.

    • How about you read my response again, Ducky. I addressed that exact issue several times. Have a great day!

  • Well if you love her so much, why do you date other girls? Focus on what you're doing wrong. If you are going to see other girls, don't lead her on about this. If you two are dating, and you "love" her, why are you seeing other girls again? Frankly I think you're the bad person in this case and you really need to get your shit together.

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    • So I'm supposed to suffer through a relationship with a girl I can't have in person? Logic.

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    • I want to be with her in the future when we can be together face to face. I've said this to her before so I'm not leading her on.

    • Well from your story, you're not the most clear person. Very clearly tell her that YOU DO NOT WANT A RELATIONSHIP WITH HER RIGHT NOW. Say that YOU LIKE HER BUT WANT TO WAIT UNTIL IT CAN BE A REAL, FACE TO FACE RELATIONSHIP. And tell her that YOU WILL DATE OTHER GIRLS (sorry for the caps lock, I wanted to highlight the important points)

  • Say " I truly like you.. But I don't think this is working out... We are just two different people... Honestly, I feel as if your a little too controlling and can be in fact too angry to the point I don't want this to effect me... This is really hard me to say this but I think we should see other people and work on ourselves so we can be better for eachother" that will work for sure!! If not... She is a strong cookie!!!

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  • If ur dating someone else then u really dont care for that girl online

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  • You really are stringing her along. You got the best responses from Anonymous and @annaboyd666.

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  • How much can you really love her if you're dating other people and questioning whether or not you should wait for her?

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  • Tell her your gay.

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  • Hahahahaha really?

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  • She sounds like any other girl would since you're literally stringing her along.
    Being gentle and focusing the conversation on the two of you helps. Tell her you want to talk
    And then I'd say something like
    I just wanted to let you know that I've started dating someone and I really like her. It's not easy telling you because I care about you, but it means a lot that you're supportive.

    In your own words I guess. She could still take it badly, but when you're already saying something like thanks for being supportive it's hard to react unreasonably.
    Maybe you could encourage her to move on and see other people too
    Don't snap at her though. You can be direct and honest while being gentle with people's feelings. She's only a bitch because she's jealous and you're intentionally confusing her

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