How do ladies just expect a guy to remain confident despite constant rejection?

Seriously, how the hell does someone remain confident in themselves, their looks, and ability to attract the opposite sex when every single girl they've tried to date turns them down? Where would this magical confidence come from? Is there some secret confidence vault I've been left out of the loop about? How can a person possibly feel so utterly confident after constant rejection without being on drugs or something? Hey ladies, here's an idea, how's about you be confident for a change and actually ask a guy out. Oh yeah, and, no, I don't think girls like jerks, I just think they don't like me, if you think that somebody like me wouldn't start thinking that after 9 out of every 10 girls reject him (because the tenth girl didn't even listen to him) you're delusional.


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Most Helpful Girl

  • Brainstorming here: Maybe your approach needs tweaking? Or maybe you're going after the wrong kind of girl...
    I know I'm old-fashioned (& compared 2 u I'm old! lol) but if u want a classy girl, you're probably going to have to make the first move. (And my daughter is the same way in this regard.) Girls like to feel wanted, to be pursued. And yes, they do like confidence- NOT to be confused with cockiness! By the same token, guys are generally attracted to self-confident women.
    More importantly, you need to believe in yourself & be comfortable with you are, not to get a date , but simply for yourself. Work on the inside first-becoming the kind of person YOU like, acting like the person you WANT to be: your best self. Tell yourself that you're attractive, that you're funny, that you're smart, & anytime you catch yourself thinking negatively toward yourself, immediately turn it around into positive self-talk.
    Until you can acheive inner confidence, fake it on the outside- watch your body language, hold yourself erect, don't fidget, look everyone in the eyes, be charming, considerate, tastefully funny.
    Realize that your self worth isn't dependent on what others think of you. As you start to believe that, others will notice.
    Oh, and flirt a bit before asking someone out, keep the tone lighthearted & fun. Make them feel special. Be aware of timing.
    Hope these suggestions help! :)

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What Girls Said 2

  • I'm not telling you to gain more confidence, where I too have very little confidence to share. I have pretended to have confidence for years though and it has worked wonders. I stopped caring about the possible outcomes and just worked on myself. Since that point I have improved drastically social wise. And have somehow managed to keep my 4 year relationship going. So I would say its much of an improvement. Sometimes you just have to say f*ck it and do you, regardless of what others think of you.

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  • Most girls don't know what it's like to get rejected
    But if you ask a girl out she doesn't know you've tried and failed with 9 other girls? You know?
    Imagine if you were a sales person selling a unique product. If the first 9 people you talked to didn't want to buy, giving up and taking it to heart and not trying is going to be counter productive.
    I guess working on yourself so you're genuinely proud of yourself and not taking things too personally could help.
    You'll meet someone special eventually.
    And by the way, some girls do ask guys out, they get rejected too sometimes. But a lot of girls don't feel the need to try

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    • Oh, I'd get a gun and force someone to buy my product... and rob they ass too. Plus, that's not really a good analogy, I have to sell this product or I'm poor and homeless, I don't have to ask girls out.

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    • Improve yourself then

    • Are we talking about life as a salesman or women?

What Guys Said 4

  • Confidence comes from knowing who you are and how worthy you are, independently of other's opinions.

    If you feel weak, get stronger, work your ass out. If you feel bored and sad, get a job, make a career, make plans and study: do your efforts to reach a better place.

    All these can make you stronger inside as a whole, and this will raise your self steem up. This will not be unnoticed by the girls, that's for sure. And guess what?

    You'll figure out that it was never "me doing things for girls to like me", it was always "They love me by who I am".

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  • Most women don't know you been rejected many times prior trying with them. You need to stop caring about being rejected by the opposite gender. Stop taking it as personally, which is easier said than done. It's harder for some of us guys to find a girlfriend and relationship. Some women are going to be jerks when rejecting you or be aloof about your hurt feelings. It's best to only rely on yourself for happiness because other people's feelings are out of our control. Don't give up dude. Work on yourself first and keep trying. You're not alone. You'll make it out of the rejection cycle.

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  • Constant rejection, thats not good u need to build ur confidence dude! Sounds like ur slippin to the other side. Like u might go on a shooting rampage!

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  • It's about how much care and thought you put into someone. Hence why when you care less, opportunities are more visible. You should start caring less about it coz it will change the way you see things. You can't put your trust with people in the outside world apart from your family.. And even then it is still a risk, but they are the people who care about you the most.

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