Guys, The weirdest date. I went out with a guy last night that I met online, and he left me with a mixed message. Thoughts?

He would stare at me while I was talking, at one point I swear he fixated on my mouth and fell into a trance. We closed the restaurant down and I suggested to call it a night since he mentioned several times that he likes to go to bed early. He offered to go somewhere else, so we did and stayed there chatting till 1am. Attracted, right? Wrong. The guy avoided touching me like I was made of hot coal. I was absolutely certain he didn't like me or something, yet he offered to give me a ride home. Ok. We get home, he doesn't even try to kiss me good night. I hug him and leave. He texts me while he's driving home and the night ends. Next day - total silence. What is UP?


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13

Most Helpful Guy

  • Staring in a conversation sometimes is the best way for a guy to truly LISTEN to a woman. Because he is actively aware using both lip movement and audible sounds to transcribe what you are saying. This is me giving him the benefit of the doubt.
    But yeah, he could still be weird, and maybe he has a fetish... maybe he's lonely. Hard to tell.
    Another thing though, and i'm kinda against it but is common; guys won't text immediately the next day. In fact, they'll wait a couple days before contact in order to not come off as desperate or too attached too soon.
    If you think its enough to garner a second date... i say you can initiate it. Nothing in the rules says you can't.

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What Guys Said 12

  • He's brilliant! He likes you and is using all of the tricks to generate a chase response in you. You can't stop thinking about the date and trying to figure him out, right? He knows how to push your buttons. He's very, very smart. The unknown is very attractive to women. He won't contact you for a couple of days, and then it will be casual like he's not that interested. He will probably say something in the conversation that puts you into more questioning and obsessing. This cements you to him. At that point, he can treat you however he wants and you will be unable to easily move on. He might be a great guy that has learned the tricks because he failed at being himself (like many guys are doing) or he may be dangerous. So go slowly and play it cool until you figure out which it is.

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    • Hm.. That's interesting. He did text me yesterday with something casual, I responded. To be honest, maybe it's due to my short attention span, but if a guy disappears, I get distracted by other things, like work, and other guys who ask me out. So, I'm not sure how that game works on anyone, but no, I don't really think about someone if they're not there to think about, it's much more constructive for me to take it as a "he's not interested" sign and move on. But it is very interesting to know how guys' mind works though!

    • It's not just how our minds work. It's based on using a woman's natural instincts and programing. Some call it "game". We had to learn how it works because we were brought up to be caring and thoughtful and respectful to women, and we failed at dating. So we figured out what does work. it's like playing chess, but the queen gets checkmated not the king! Hope it works out for you!

  • Probably he was nervous on the date as why he didn't try and touch or kiss you. He texted you that night. Why in the world does he need to text you next day too when you've only been on one date together?

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    • He doesn't have to at all. It's just before we met, he was texting me EVERY day reporting on his whereabouts which to me was a bit extreme, but I guess everyone is different at communicating, and it's not that big of a deal. It's the change of pattern that puzzles me. I'm only trying to understand his behavior, as your rightly noticed that we only went out once, and I don't really have any expectations from that short-lived encounter.

    • Maybe he realized ''i'm coming off clingy as hell.''

  • Maybe he's shy, I know when I first started dating a long time ago, I would get really shy and even start shaking if I held a girl haha my girlfriend thought is was so cute and she said it made her feel like the hottest women on earth but I was really embrassed about it haha but yea maybe your just really hot?

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  • Sounds like he is new to dating in general. he took some first date tips. Staring at the mouth. Texting.

    Why can't you ask him out and make the first move. Its 2015. Equal rights and stuff.

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  • Apparently he's not interested in you. What is to figure out here?

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  • I think he's crazy.

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  • Some guys are too timid when on a date with a new girl. He probably respected you so much that he didn't want to kiss and touch you with out the chance of disrespectful.

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  • It's called being a gentleman... Google it sometime.

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  • He's run away... No connection babes. move on...

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  • Where online have you met him?

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  • That's not mixed signals. He could just be not wanting to do it right away. y'all just met for the first time in real life

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  • Did you enjoy his company and do you see him as more is the question.. Maybe you make a slight move to give him a hint next time

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