I have to meet my girlfriend's parents and don't know what to do. Can anyone help?

My girlfriend is making me meet her parents and all that and I'm really fucking nervous about it. I desperately need help.


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Most Helpful Guy

  • You needn’t dress up but be clean and neat. In other words, no bed head, no ripped jeans. Greet them with a smile and a firm but comfortable hand shake. Look them straight in the eyes and say, “I’ve been looking forward to meeting you. Your daughter speaks so well of you.” Take nothing for granted. So, don’t sit until you are invited to or everyone else sits and it is obvious that you should join them. Make polite conversation. Sports, movies, school are all safe subjects. Avoid controversial topics like politics or news, unless they ask your opinion. In that case, be honest and prepared to defend your point of view calmly.

    They are liable to ask you direct questions. Give them direct answers. Be sensible. So, if they ask whether you are planning to go to college, you can say that you are going but are unsure of your major because so many things interest you. Or you can say you are going to apprentice as an electrician. You should have a plan but maybe you don’t. Then say, “I am trying to decide between school and the trades. I would be curious to know your opinion on this.” If you are already in a career, talk a little about it and then ask about his.

    It is unlikely they will ask you point blank about your relationship with their daughter but they might hint obliquely. Suppose her father looks at your girlfriend and says in conversation, “Your mom and I knew each other for nearly a year before we dated.” He is not just making idle conversation about his relationship; he is fishing to know about yours. Ask him something else about their relationship, such as where they first met or when they realized they were more than friends. Then say something true about your relationship with your girlfriend. It could be as simple as “Your daughter is my best friend.” Or, “I think your daughter and I make a really good team.”

    To summarize, you need to read between the lines and be straight with them. One more thing. Always try to see their point of view and support them. In other words, make yourself their ally. If they say, for example, that they would rather you not live together, tell your girlfriend you want to respect their wishes. You can spend as much time together as you like without moving your things in together.

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    • I know this sounds old fashioned but trust me. When they realize that you respect and value their opinions and advocate for their role in your lives as a couple, they will take an instant liking to you. If you have any doubt just how important this is, try asking someone who does not get along with their in-laws.

      So, I have made a lot of assumptions here to give you advice. Some of them will not be true but you get the idea.

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    • Thanks for the MHO! Good luck with meeting the Fockers!

What Girls Said 3

  • Ah yeah it can be very nerve wracking to meet your partner's parents for the first time. Best you can do is to just be friendly and show good manners. There's no need to do anything more than that.

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  • just b very nice.. and polite... dont talk too much... or get too close to your girlfriend in front of them.. compliment their home.. her mother's cooking.. ask if there is a ''no shoe in the house'' rule..

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  • Just try to calm down, act natural, and be friendly. Smile at them, keep manners, you know.. grown ups like this sort of thing. Also, try to imagine it the other way around. How would your girlfriend act if she were to meet your parents? I bet she would be nervous like you at first, but then she'll try to appear as friendly as possible and stay calm and composed.

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What Guys Said 3

  • Do the parents know about you already... usually they are excited and curious to meet you, which is a good thing
    If they have any rules, or traditions in the house, ask her about it. So you don't make those mistakes when you're entering the house and make a good impression

    You must realize, that they are just people. They're not going to shoot you down. Just be nice and polite

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  • ohhh man.. it's like to die and come back from hell!! i met my girlfriend's parents once by accident... i fumbled and gave so many stupid answers that they asked my girlfriend, "is your friend mentally unstable"... it will always be awkward and disconcerting no matter how many times you meet them... i still laugh when i think of my stupid answers!!!

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  • What are you nervous about? Just be polite, a gentleman, and have good manners.

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