Why do people hate me so much and get the wrong impression? I've been lonely all my life. No friends, no boyfriend?

I got a new job at my college. I'm an extremely self-conscious girl. I wear TONS of makeup and I take pride in my appearance. I sometimes wear form-fitting clothes to show off my great figure. You can call me vain. I tend to be loud and extremely talkative. I act very clumsy and ditzy and have been described as quirky. At the same time I'm very friendly. a lot of people compliment me on my humour. a lot of guys have complimented me on my looks. I'm used to that.

Now, at my job, there's some guys. What can I say, I live for male attention. There's these 4 guys who've I've befriended, one of whom I think is really cute and developed a tiny crush for. Now none of these guys have really tried to flirt with me (they have girlfriends) but we would make sexual jokes and the like. I've accepted that my crush has a girlfriend, but I'm not interested in dating him. I JUST WANTED TO GET HIM ATTRACTED TO ME. That's usually the case for me- I have zero interest in pursuing a relationship-I just want to have my attractiveness confirmed by having them attracted to me!

Now that's the problem. I'm not sure if any of them were. I heard through the grapevine that these four guys actually "hate" me- they think I'm too lazy (I'm not!) and I act like a "carefree dumb blonde". THAT HURTS ME SO BAD. I've never faced rejection, or hate like this, and they fooled me- I thought they liked me! :'( I mean, they don't even think I'm attractive!

I made a lot of other male friends who seemed intrigued by me, but now I'm wondering- is it because of my looks or just my bizarre, quirky behaviour that can be entertaining? (and they possibly just make fun of me because of it).

What this boils down to is that if I don't act all crazy or wear loads of makeup, no one, absolutely NO ONE will want to talk to me. I know this because I was there. But no matter what I do, no one will ever truly LIKE me.


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Most Helpful Girl

  • Reasons why people may not like you...
    1) I wear TONS of makeup
    2) I sometimes wear form-fitting clothes to show off my great figure (being arrogant and full of yourself isn't the best trait.)
    3) I live for male attention
    4) my crush has a girlfriend, I JUST WANTED TO GET HIM ATTRACTED TO ME

    Darling, these guys probably don't like you because you live for male affection. You sound like you cake yourself in make-up (which most men don't like)...

    ... sounds like they would want to put their dick inside you and that's about it.

    You need to get some self respect. You're a grown woman acting like a 14 year old. Once you have some self esteem and don't have to have external verification of your worth, all this shit won't matter. Until then, don't act like a hussy and then cry about no-one liking you. People don't like people who try and vie for other people's boyfriends attention. It's a pretty shitty thing to do and makes you assume the person is pretty shitty. People tend not to like vain people either, or people who assume their looks will make up for a lack of intelligence or work ethic.

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What Guys Said 5

  • holy shit after reading that, all I can say is expand the universe in your mind, otherwise aging for you is going to be dead fucking unbearable.

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  • Based on what you've written, the reason why people don't like you is because you are not genuine, you're befriending them only to feel better about yourself, but you don't actually care about any of them. Socialization for you is just a way to feed your ego. People notice that you don't actually care... and there's a chance that the ditziness you mention is seen as far more negative than you think, as well.

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  • Don't believe everything you hear through the grapevine, often people have their own reasons to tell you things. jealousy, can bea big part of it. I find it interesting that you use others to validate you, that you need others to find you attractive so that you know that you're attractive. Isn't it kind of mean to lead people on that way? Are you clear that you aren't into relationships? How do their GFs feel about you? These things can affect perception.

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  • I sort of know how you feel. I'm always seeking validation from others.

    Ask yourself though, how you feel about people who seek validation from you?

    Do you respect them? Do they confuse you? Do you like them? Why/why not?

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  • maybe your sexy like a fox, and they find that intimidating or assume your already married or something.

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What Girls Said 1

  • Take a new approach.

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