He has a girl friend but might like me as well?

I met this guy, and we hit it off pretty well for a few weeks. he was very affectionate, helpful and genuine without seeming like a pushy player. one night, after going out, we ended in bed together. i thought nothing serious of it, but the next day, he started holding hands, putting his arm around my waist, kissing again, when sitting at the table his put his arm on my seats backrest etc. complimenting me all the time, all in public and also when being around his best friend.
we spent the entire weekend like this.
I was like, "that was a nice weekend, if we see each other again?", but he was like "let's see". wow, I just found out he has a girlfriend! His defense is that he didn't promise me anything, he acted irrational, why am I so upset? obviously, I am not gonna pursue further, but I guess I just want to think that at least I meant sth to him or that this behavior was indeed not normal? I mean he could have had the sex and left without all this affectionate BS?
his friend said that he really has issues with his girlfriend and is not a player.
by the way. he keeps writing me messages...
what do you think? any experts?


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Most Helpful Guy

  • I'm like that guy. I want to have my cake and eat it. I want to fuck around and I'm so insecure/dependant on female validation that I immediately start to say crap like that even though I don't really mean it.

    You guys had sex, and that released oxytocin in his brain, so now he has a soft spot for you, but it was still only sex to him.

    Besides, he cheated on his f***ing girlfriend with you!

    What more evidence do you need that this guy is a player, even though he may be immature and clueless about it?

    He's using you and his girlfriend to get what he wants, and he has no idea what it is.

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    • Look at how he treats his girlfriend. That is how he will treat you. Unless he grows up. Unlikely.

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    • That is okay, I did sound rather pompous :)

      If he's like me, he's emotional. One minute he means one thing, the next he means something else. I don't think he's doing it on purpose, just a restless type of guy.

    • Thanks for MHO :)

What Guys Said 2

  • Just leave him alone because he is taken already. Find someone that isn't and cut him out of your life for good

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  • wot those messages r about then? flirty messages?

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    • not overly. more friendly and about our common hobby.- some compliments, saying how much he enjoyed the time. I wrote him already, that we don't need to stay in contact. I can accept that (so that he doesn't have to be afraid that I contact his gf), but he said he wants to stay in contact.

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    • yes, he wants to stay in contact with me

    • then he wants u as a friend i'd say

What Girls Said 3

  • I'm a little confused here.

    He cheated on his girlfriend.
    Clearly, it wasn't a mistake because he did sweet things (to wheel you in), but yet you stand behind thinking he is not a player?
    HE IS!
    How can that not be any more clear?
    If a guy shows a woman no affection (or make her feel like she isn't wanted) changes are he will not get laid by her!
    He wanted you in that way... so did what it took to have you.
    He has no respect for his girlfriend.
    He has no respect for you either.
    He sees you as just a good time.
    He's going to keep being sweet and affection with you as long as it gets him what he wants.

    If he had that much problems with his girlfriend... he wouldn't be with her!

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    • *affectionate

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    • yes thank you for your honest and direct yet polite words.

    • No problem :) Good luck to u!

  • If you know he has a girlfriend then it's your responsibility to stop entertaining him. Ignore his messages

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  • Just ignore him. He is taken

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    • well, thats what I said, but that doesn't answer my question. he keeps writing...

    • If you ignore him he'll get the point. If I had met a guy who is in a relationship yet is hitting on me then I'd keep a distance with him. Show him I am not interested, seems like you want him to keep continuing whatever this is

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