When girls' female friends go through a break up, it effects their lives way more than guys in the same scenario, agree?

I am not saying one way is better or worse, but I just feel like any girl I have dated, if she has even a semi close friend go through a break up, she has to completly shift around her life to be there as much as possibel for her freind. Where as guys, sure we support each other and do fun things, but I don't know anyone who makes such a dramatic involment as girls seem to. It is liek guys just sort of spend time with their buddy when they are free, they don't necessarily clear a whole week for him, but I feel like many girls do..

This has happened to me before, but recently my GFs sort-of workmate broke up with her boyfriend. All of a sudden she went from seeing her MAYBE once a month a bit after work, to girls nights like 4-5 times a week. I mean it is rough breaking up, sure, but I am not gonna lie it's pretty annoying. This girl did the breaking up, and they were hardly even friends befroe this, now my girlfriend has to be their for her every night or else she doesn't feel like a good friend... And as a bonus it even affects our sex life now! Like she is too upset for her friend sometimes! How is that a thing?

Anyway, my story asside, do you agree wiht the original question? Clearly I dont mean all girls, just mostly from what I have observed, or at least more than guys.


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Most Helpful Girl

  • Well here is something to keep in mind: studies of the hormones, comparing female and male brains show that females feel that whenever a relationship (romantic or not) as been lost or is in danger of being lost, makes them feel that their livelihood is in danger. Those feelings you get when someone is about to attack you? That is how we feel.

    So right now, your girlfriend is trying to protect her friend because she knows how it feels, probably having gone through a breakup before herself, and is trying to be there for this girl the way that she may have wanted others to be there for her. Of course, this is all my guess and I very well could be wrong, but I'd like to think they're educated guesses. She also may very well like this girl, and have wanted to be good friends with her previously, and wanted unconsciously to use this as a means to develop stronger bonds as well.

    Now, it also sounds like there are some boundaries that need to be set up. Going over that much? Well, I am unsure of the circumstances of the break up, but that is a lot to go over. And if you're feeling neglected, well I would tell her.

    Say, "I appreciate that you're trying to be a good friend, and that's one of the reasons I adore you, but I notice that I am feeling sad because I miss us hanging out. It would mean a lot if maybe you could make more time for me, or at least give me a timeframe of how long to expect this. I miss you." If you phrase it like that, she will be much more open to conversation and shifting :) Just speak your emotional truth and what you want (without blaming).

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    • I really have to look into some of this! It sounds very interesting!

What Girls Said 2

  • Eh, I think this is more your girlfriend being over supportive of people in her life. I have a few best friends in which I would drop everything for them if there was a breakup (and I have). However, that is like 3 people in the world, and the one I helped had been with her boyfriend 4-5 years.

    Other than that? I think girls are supportive and cope differently than guys, but I wouldn't drop everything for a casual acquaintance. Even with my best friend I helped, it wasn't like a month of ongoing therapy. Girls want to move on and start feeling better, too. I think your girlfriend is maybe doing this because of her own need to be "needed" or helpful? I don't think her work friend is demanding or expecting all of that.

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  • because girls are caring.. and they care about the people who are close to them.. if my friend wants 4 to 5 girl nights in a week to get through a rough patch.. then thats what she is getting..

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What Guys Said 1

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