Do I ignore him or confront him? What do I do?

We just went to a music festival where you camp for a few days with my him (he's my best friend brother, and Im currently living with her, she's been supportive of us hooking up) my best friend's friends and his friends. The entire time we were there he ignored me and just followed around this other girl that came with us the entire time and she was all over him.. which really hurt my feellings/ he also made out with her. So now I feel really hurt and dont know what to do...

I stopped sleeping with him two months ago because I was assuming it was just a hook up. But he still always tried initiating kissing me anyways, when were drinking usually but even just when were alone hanging out. I now (2 weeks before we did this caming trip) have turned him down all together and wouldn't let him kiss me either when we were out. He actually got really mad about it that night and got really rude with me..

Backstory, We were hooking up for the last 4 months and in the begining we did go out on a few dates (He had asked me out and was very persitent and this was after we already slept together) when I was home for the holidays for two weeks, but I was away at school after so our relationship was just really casual and we'd basically just hook up when we saw eachother and talked a few times a week. But I moved back to the city this month so were close by, ten minutes away.
When we hang out with a group of friends he'll always get really quiet with me, awkward and won't really look me in the eyes.. but he'll do things like sit right next to me. And a couple weeks ago he offered to drive me home so we could be alone and kissed me.
I did really start to like him unfourtunetly but I am so hurt now. Does it seem he did this all out of spite to hurt me intentinally since I cut off hooking up?

He's obviously a jerk, and I have absolutely zero intentions of ever seeing him or talking to him again, but unfourtunetly Im going to have to see him at some point since he's my friends brother.. Do I just ignore him and not acknowledge his presence? I was thinking to tell him that he's a jerk and hurt my feelings, but he clearly doesn't care anyways..

Updates:
Does anyone think this is salvageable? Could we ever get back a good place? Or is he just over it and wouldn't go back and try.. We need to talk, but I just dont know what to say.. I still have feelings for him, but he hurt me really bad, but both are to blame but I was never rude to him or disrespectful

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Most Helpful Guy

  • So he was interested in you, really seemed to like you then you rejected him. He then tried to move on with his life and now you have decided, after already making it perfectly clear that you were not intereseted, you like him. And he is a jerk for being with someone else, who obviously was interested in him as much as he was in her. How is he the bad guy in this? Was he suppose to pine after you for the rest of his life? I don't see it. You were not interested so you shot him down then he moved on. It was your decision not his. Don't place blame on him, take responsibility, learn from your mistake and move on. He doesn't deserve to be treated like this.

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    • How did I reject him? Him only trying to get with me drunk and not making an effort is clearly him rejecting me/just wanting to hook up. I stopped letting him take advantage of me by stopping having sex with him and even kissing him, because I was getting feelings and he clearly wasn't interested, so i wanted to avoid getting hurt. And the fact that he did the most disrespectful thing by being over over this girl, knowing I had feelings for him, makes it so much worse. I would never put some through that, its awful why would you even take his side

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    • I definitely want to do it in person, so should I just message him saying can we meet up and talk? or something along those lines but I don't want it to be intimidating.. I dont know what to message him?

    • message him with I need to talk to you, maybe give a brief explanation why and then try to meet him in person. The problem was you were not uprfront and honest, so naturally the solution would be to be upfront and honest. Its really all you need to do, speak what you think and go from there.

What Guys Said 2

  • That guy sounds abusive as hell. He knows how to play mind games and manipulate people. He doesn't seem to care about who he hurts either. It makes me so pissed to see how assholes take advantage of girls in this manner. He's disgusting and despicable... I'm so mad I could literally beat the SHIT out of his punk ass. I suggest you cut him out of your life completely. Block his number and don't ever LOOK at him if he talks to you. Just give short replies and end any conversation with him by looking only through your peripheral vision.

    He'll soon come crawling back apologizing and asking for forgiveness, but that's when you know he's just trying to manipulate you. People like him never change. Don't think about him, and find other guys. I'm sure you'll not find it that hard.

    Otherwise you will unnecessarily suffer. I guarantee it. Almost!

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    • Thankyou! He did really treat me terribly and I did a lot for him. The least he could have done was make it known to me he only wanted to hook up. and have enough respect to not do that kind of shit in front of me knowing that I did have feelings for him.

    • I do agree with you. I definitely see you point. But its not like he made his feelings clear for me. He didn’t really communicate with me either. I think we are both to blame. He didn’t tell me how he feels and what he sees us as. I was just scared of being hurt so I just pushed him away.. which I probably shouldn’t have done. Im going to talk to him this weekend. And tell him how I feel and that it was a lot of miss communication on both sides. I did tell him that I like him, but when we were drunk and over text so that has no merit really. I should definitely not be calling him any names but I need to explain my side and let him know I was really hurt because I do like him and care for him. Do you have any suggestions as to how I can start this convo and what I can say? Also do you really think this is salvageable?

  • You rejected him. So he moved on. What was he supposed to pine for you like a little faggot? Why are you so mad at him? You told him time and time again you weren't looking for a relationship.

    What the hell? "I was thinking to tell him that he's a jerk and hurt my feelings,"...

    Do you ever hear yourself?

    YOU'RE THE JERK HERE!

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    • I never told him I wasn't looking for a relationship actually. I did tell him I liked him and he legit didn't recipricate anything. So thats why I stopped hooking up with him because it was only going to hurt me, if I wanted more and he didn't. I super hurt because he 1. acted really rude to me and said really rude things when I refused to kiss him back.. 2. SO disrespectful of him to be all over some girl right in front of me, knowing exactly that I do like him.. I never got the chance to tell him he hurt my feelings after he was rude to me for me not kissing him, but he should be the one apologizing to me if he really did care about me

What Girls Said 10

  • I think you sorta brought it on yourself... you played the red light too long. He obviously got a little put off and went for someone easier. You both sound like busy people... that or you both don't know how to put proper effort into a growing relationship. Either treat it like a friends with benefits or relationship- just make sure its known.

    Instead of pushing him away you should have talked to him about what was bugging you. I did the same thing to my ex when we started hooking up again, then he got lonely so hooked up with someone else until I came back to mark my territory and tell him what I wanted.

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    • I think the main issue was communication. We didn't really talk about our feelings.. or what we were. Is this salvageable? Could we ever go back to being something? We do need to talk. I just dont know what to say at this point. obviously I still have feelings for him, but he hurt me really bad, but both are to blame but I was never rude to him or disrespectful

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    • Oh my that sounds like a lot of drama. She's hours away and I doubt they'll pursue a relationship. She'll prolly get back with her boyfriend or something.

      I know, most people these days are so afraid of being hurt they let people slip away.

      Hope you're able to sort things out, good luck!

    • Well thank you! I think I just have to talk to him, I don't know why im so afraid to just say how I feel, I guess Im so scared of rejection that I just couldnt and should have. To be honest i think she's back with her boyfriend now...

  • act like he didn't hurt you.. hard to do i know. clearly he doesn't care... why waste time on a guy that does not care? time is valuable. if you go to him and tell him you were hurt he will be turned off by that and be even more standoffish. play it cool. be nonchalant. sorry that happened to you. i have been in those situations and it is devestating. most guys dont care unless they are in love about a girls feelings.

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    • Thank you :) He definitely is a loser! And I can definetly do better, but its just the lack of respect just kills me how someone can be that awful

    • Trust me, guys can me MUCH worse than that if you let them. When I first got my guy I had a great job, great life high self esteem and confidence, at the end of the 9 years of loving him and being good to him, he had me so broken down and did it in such a way that it happened without me even realizing it was happening until it was over... It is just SO important to protect yourself always, no matter how much they say they love you. He convinced me he was the one that he would love me until we were old together, but in time I saw his true colors, he wanted threesomes and to cheat on me, call me names, hit me etc... i mean it got VERY bad. Thankfully I am free now but if I can offer any advice out of that turmoil which I feel is universal advice is to never ever lower your standards and always expect respect. Those are two things guys will fuck with if you let them,

    • Thanks so much!! Im the same, I definelty need respect! Ill message you :) and if you have any more advice please share

  • Honestly, after reading all your posts, I think you need an straight answer for him, whether to move on or not.

    Go ahead and be straight up about your feelings and get an straight answer.

    You won't have these doubts anymore.

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    • I know! Can you suggest a way of how I can bring up talking with to him? I just dont know what to say to ask him to meet up and talk?

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    • I feel at this point I need to just do it in person, its the most perosnal. I just want to message him something asking him to talk, but just dont know how to phrase it or what to say

    • Just say that you want to talk to him. It's important that you do. :)

  • Ignore him all together.

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    • So if my she invites him out with us I shouldn't go right? and if I absolutely have to see him, I should literally just not say anything to him?

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    • Yeah, sounds like it

    • How disgusting of him... he's a loser. he could just be mad and trying to move on after you shot him down

  • plenty of guys like that so just be careful next time

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  • I think it's best to confront him be honest

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  • talk to him about it.

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    • I was thinking to tell him that he's a jerk and hurt my feelings, but he clearly doesn't care anyways.. what would you suggest I say? Like is it even worth my time? he already hurt me once and at this point I really want nothing to do with him.. even if he's somewhere I am I would rather just leave

  • try to act cool.

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    • by doing what?

  • you need to walk away.

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    • I did. But the shitty part is I'll have to see him because he's my friends brother..

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