Is she becoming distant or am I overthinking everything?

My girlfriend and I are in our late 20s. We talk every morning our way to work and at night before she goes to sleep (she says she can't go to sleep without hearing my voice). We have been going out 5 months now but I've noticed we hardly text anymore during the day. When we first started to go out, we would text throughout the day and talk on the phone at night for hours. Now (the last month or so), we talk until she falls asleep around 12am (instead of 3/4am like before) and we text occasionally. She's told me that's she's busy at work lately and I know she is. I am too. I'm not sure if it's just the fact I've grown accustomed to her contacting me all the time or not. It just irks me when I send her a message on WhatsApp and she doesn't respond. She will message others back though. She also got annoyed at me last night when I "didn't call her back". I called and it went straight to voicemail (I figured her phone was off/dead/bad reception). She said she was talking to someone and that's why it went to voicemail. She wondered why I didn't call again (if she's busy, I think I should just let her be until she contacts me when she is free). She wants me to start calling her more often so she doesn't feel like she's stalking me by calling me most of the time. She still tells me she loves me many times. I've already met her family like 2 months ago and I'm meeting her mother later this month. Does this sound perfectly normal or is she becoming distant?


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Most Helpful Girl

  • No she should call back if she doesn't answer. I hate it when guys tell me "I didn't hear it, why didn't you call more than once?" I say "well maybe I didn't wanna feel like a creepy crazy stalker"

    Nah I don't think she's distancing. 3-4 is pretty extreme. That's pretty late to fall asleep at 12 on the phone with you.

    I think texting happens a lot while you begin the initial dating process, but it sounds like she's comfortable enough to go about her day without telling you what she's doing every hour. I wouldn't take it personal. I'm the type of girl who will do this because even though I'm into someone, I looove my space and alone time

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What Girls Said 1

  • It sounds like she is pulling away a bit. There may be things about you that are getting under her skin more and more? Has she complained about things you frequently do or tried dropping hints in the past about things that annoy her? Sometimes we do that in hopes of them fixing it but then when they don't, we start to pull away because we can't see ourselves marrying that person anymore.

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What Guys Said 2

  • It's called the honey moon phase of relationship where your infatuated with each other. This usually last 3 months and its basically you guys getting high off each other (chemical releases in your brain). Also you come off very needy and she may be tired of your beta behavior and pulling back from relationship. Every heard the term monkey branching. It is where a woman leaves one mate for another who she perceive as better. Most women become emotionally distance from their partner the couple months/weeks before they break up. At this time she is making sure she can secure the other guy as a mate (probably the guy she is talking to) and stick with you so she can still be in a relationship if things don't work out.

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    • I'm the needy one? She's the one that wants to talk and see me all the time. I'm ok with having my own space. Right now, I'm away on business and she's saying she misses me, loves me and wants to see me. The honeymoon stage sounds right but the rest makes you sound very insecure

    • You come off insecure and needy with this statement:

      "We have been going out 5 months now but I've noticed we hardly text anymore during the day. When we first started to go out, we would text throughout the day and talk on the phone at night for hours. Now (the last month or so), we talk until she falls asleep around 12am (instead of 3/4am like before) and we text occasionally. She's told me that's she's busy at work lately and I know she is. I am too. "

    • It's an observation, nothing more... nothing less

  • Sounds like you two are spending too much time together you need to spend more time with your friends when she feels this way that way she misses you so when you do spend time together she has fun and it's magical go golfing go to the gym take up new hobbies this way you miss her more when you away from her and when you are together you can't keep your hands off each other

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