- yes thats the truthVote A
- No, nice guys are still awesomeVote B
Most Helpful Girl
I more or less agree with her...
Let me share a story that got me thinking about this:
I'm a nurse, and there's a week in may called Nursing Week, to celebrate nurses. At my work, we do this thing called "Warm and Fuzzies" during Nursing Week, where everyone has a blank greeting card with their name on it, and we pass them around and write compliments or other nice things to each other. Kind of silly, but whatever. One night shift, we have some downtime, so we're all signing each other's cards. One of my colleagues says, "I don't know what to write for a lot of people, I feel like I just keep writing, "You're nice". We all laughed, because a lot of us we're doing the same thing. Someone made a joke, "Oh god, I'm going to get mine back and it's just going to say, "You're nice" over and over."
Some of my colleagues are genuinely very nice people. Like, kind, caring, helpful, never say a mean word about anyone. But a lot of the people that I wrote "You're nice" to were a) people I didn't know very well because they were only recently hired, or because they just worked casually, b) people I didn't know very well because they were shy/quiet, c) people who are kind of bland.. nothing really sticks out to me about their personality; I can't really think of any specific time where we had an interesting conversation, or shared a laugh, or whatever.
Being nice is a GOOD thing, but "nice" is also used as a "filler" word. People often use the word "nice" to describe someone when there's nothing wrong with the person, but you can't think of anything more specific to say about them. And if you can't think of anything more specific to say about them, then there's a good chance that in your interactions, they've come across as bland, boring, uninteresting, or otherwise unmemorable.
":Nice" is the bare minimum standard for me. I would only date someone who was nice. I wouldn't date someone who treated was an asshole to me or to other people---that's a huge turn-off. But it takes more than just being "nice" for me to be attracted to someone. I meet nice people every day, but I'm not attracted to all of them and I'm not compatible with all of them. Nice alone isn't going to catch or keep my interest.1