I've had it. Selectivism is a form of racism. How tough is it for Asian American guys?

I grew up in a predominantly white area. I remember back in school, there were 4 Asian guys, 5 Asian girls, and the rest were predominantly white. The Asian girls dated white guys and once they broke up, they'd wait for another white guy to be single and then they'd hook up. Never once giving us Asian guys a chance. Likewise with white girls and just about any other girl out there.
My Asian friends from school aren't freshie or anything. We're American! We do the same stuff that other Americans do. Because of our terrible luck on the dating field, we decided to turn our attention towards education and career building.
During university, we had a few dates here and there, but the story was the same - girls date us temporarily until the white guy becomes single and then they dump us without giving a fk about our emotions.. hooking up with the white guy in less than a week. Far out!
Absolutely disgusting.
Yes, I know there will be some troll responses going "no one's going to date you with that attitude", but who cares.. I made my point and I'm sure people can appreciate how god dam hard it is for an Asian guy. Doesn't matter if we're educated, supportive, sporty, have a good career, romantic etc... we're Asian, period. Hence we're not desired.


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Most Helpful Guy

  • I guess, I can see where you are coming from and the segregation you feel, but that's not true.
    I'm an INTP Asian who moved in to the US when I was 19. I don't think I'm that good looking, but I was popular in the high school so maybe I'm better looking than I thought. I seriously usually mind my own business while girls are the one who approaches me. I have had Asian girls, White girls, Hispanic girls, and Black girls approached me in the past. I have to say that I think white girls are the one who have approached me the most.

    I have to add the biggest difference between you and me. While you do what "Americans" do, I do what I want to do. People around me find it interesting how much I don't care about others opinion, Those who don't know me consider me mysterious, while those who knows me consider me interesting.

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What Girls Said 8

  • She waited until a white guy was single and then dumped you... dude, there are thousands of single white guys at any given moment in the day so I don't see how there is any truth to that statement.

    Also, you fail to address the point in your title: being selective is racist.

    I don't think it is. If you don't find someone physically attractive you can't help that, and if the characteristics of a race of people aren't appealing to you there is nothing you can do. Being racist would be judging those people based on the colour of their skin. Treating them differently as humans. Being attracted to someone is just a natural thing. You don't judge someone and then decide if they 're attractive or not, it's just something that you do or don't feel.

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    • Learn to read between the lines. I've even spelled it out for you.
      How many Asian boyfriends have you had?

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    • Fat people, it was a typo.

    • The asker isn't looking for insight; The asker is looking for sympathy and apologies from the White Embassy. There's no use in explaining to him that not being attracted to physical features doesn't mean that you think someone is an inferior being.

      Angry OP: I've had black girls say they find me handsome but they aren't attracted to me because I'm 'pink', and I never accused them of being racist like some bitter sap. Grow some balls and move on with your life; What's so important about dating a white girl anyway? Are they somehow better than 'your' Asian women, you racist?

  • And I suppose if I tell you now that I personally absolutely don't give a damn about race and know a lot of other girls who don't you're gonna call me a troll, too?
    Majority of my friends wouldn't ever turn down a handsome and nice Asian guy if they asked them out and no, 'selectivism' aka. having preferences is not a form of racism! I'm pretty tall for a girl so I'm sure a lot of guys wouldn't consider dating me simply because I'm 5'9" yet I don't walk around complaining about how it's height discrimination or something like that. I know it's not fair but it's just how things for us are, we just don't fit the mainstream's preference, it's nothing to do with racism tho wth man..

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  • That's bs! I find Asian men really attractive but somehow they never notice that i am flirting with them. I always get the feeling that i am being friend zoned by Asian guys... I am practically throwing myself at them and they don't react.
    If you're anything like them, then no wonder!

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  • You're short, that's why you feel insecure and limited... So its not because you are Chinese or a green martian

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  • It's not because you're Asian, it's because you suck.

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  • There are lots of white boys on here who suck at relationships. And girls.

    90% of us on GAG suck at romance. It's not race, it's generally a lack of social charm and overall awkwardness.

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  • I'd say it depends largely on your charisma. My one cousin has a new girlfriend every other week and the other cousin couldn't get a girlfriend to save his life. Note: The cousin great at getting girls is the one who is least successful at school among all my male cousins.

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What Guys Said 9

  • Dude, your sample is way too small to draw any conclusive evidence from. Just because you and your 3 Asian buddies never managed to get a date in your area, doesn't mean Asian guys are undesirable. I don't mean to be critical, but maybe you and your friends are missing desirable qualities? Work on building yourself as a person instead of hiding behind your shield of racial self-pity.

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  • You're just a whiny little bitch blaming your eye folds for your girl problems and trying to claim racism to validate your victim status. Why don't you call these girls racists and see how far you get with them that way?

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  • I've seen some girls on here say they prefer and some said they are only interested in east Asian guys. A lot of those girls said they only like Korean men specifically though.

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  • Then work on self improvement and up your odds. Work out in the gym, make your style better, learn game.

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  • I had a friend who was half chinese and he was really popular with ladies.

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  • Asian guys are awesome like me

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  • I mean I live in South London which is primarily black and Arabic. Not that it matters.

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  • its hard for pretty much every non white minority. you get looked over 90% of the time

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    • I don't know. Black guys don't seen to get looked over much. Not where I've been. Or black/white mixed guys or black/Asian mixed guys.

    • it doesn't SEEM that way but it is

  • Its the small dick stereotype

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