Is smoking a deal breaker?

A friendship between me and a guy has recently become romantic. It started when he asked me out on an official date; which ended up being a netflix all-nighter. We've known each other all four years of highschool, meet up every morning to run, and share the same group of friends. He is really fun to be around, but I found out about a month ago that he smokes. Smoking is a big deal to me. My dad smokes and I can see the negative effects it has on his health. The guy knows smoking bothers me and has addmitted to me that he is disappointed in himself for smoking. He must not smoke much since I just recently found out about it after knowing him for so long, and he oddly doesn't smell like smoke. Reguardless, I don't know whether to continue this relationship or get out before its too late and damages our friendship further. Thoughts?

  • Keep the relationship going
    60% (9)50% (8)55% (17)Vote
  • Go back to being friends
    40% (6)50% (8)45% (14)Vote
And you are? I'm a GirlI'm a Guy

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Most Helpful Guy

  • I used to consider it a deal breaker.. then I dated a girl who smoked, and initially it wasn't a problem... but the longer we were together the more cassual she got about smoking in my pressence and the more it bothered me. The constant smell drove me up the wall (seriously my cloths smelt of it more than hers for some reason). When we broke up (unrelated reasons) I was slightly glad I wouldn't have to deal with the fag fumes anymore.
    Now it's back on the deal breaker list and underscored.

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What Guys Said 7

  • For me personally smoking is a deal breaker. I would never date a girl that smokes.

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  • It depends on whether you mind the smoking
    if you don't mind then keep the relationship going
    but got know that secondhand smoking just as bad
    as being a smoker there is lot of aspects you got to
    consider.

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  • People who smoke don't have any self control. At least that's my understanding of people who choose to smoke. So if you want someone who can't control his urges or gives into peer pressure (started smoking to look cool) then stay with him.

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  • Cigarettes? Yeah
    Weed? I can deal

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  • Yes it is. It is a disgusting habit that has life threatening risks. I would be devastated if my future wife got cancer or emphysema because she smoked.

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  • if he doesn't smoke much then its not too late to just quit without too much effort. it won't be easy for him but it could be worse

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  • It used to bother me, until this year I always said I would never date a smoker. But now I don't really mind as long as she doesn't smoke too much. And if she smokes a bit of weed I'm happy with that

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What Girls Said 4

  • I wouldn't want my partner to smoke. It's a costly and an unhealthy habit. I want to keep my partner around for as long as possible, and I wouldn't want my partner to smoke.

    So, yes, smoking is a deal breaker.

    That being said, if he was in the process of quitting with a few relapses, ok, I could work with that. But I couldn't date a smoker, I couldn't get my head around what they were doing to their body.

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  • He's already unhappy with himself for smoking so he's at least half way to quitting in my opinion. There are a lot of free programs for helping people quit smoking. I think you can both help him overcome his smoking addiction.

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  • You can't let one thing put off your relationship. If you honestly cared about him you would stay with him and try to help him fight off his addiction, no matter what. That's what lovers do, they stay together and accept each others faults.

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  • Smoking/drug addiction are probably the biggest deal breakers for me.

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