When can I ask him what we "are", or where we're heading?

So I've been talking to this guy for about a month. We get along really well, always have a good time together. Been on lots of dates, he's spent the night a few times. My only concern is that we have not discussed the future of our relationship. I know guys can get freaked out by that, but I'm not really a fan of just casual hanging out. I would like a relationship. And I feel like it's been long enough that I could potentially bring that topic up, but would like some input. Any advice on how to ask, or any other suggestions I am open to.. Thanks in advance :)


Most Helpful Girl

  • I always bring it up early because if I'm going to be sleeping with a guy I want to know if we're exclusive or if I need some extra protection going on. I don't care for labels personally but I need to know that he isn't currently sleeping around and what his sti status is.


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What Guys Said 1

  • Oh yeah. One way ticket to freak zone. See, we don't like to plan that far ahead. You kinda need to ease into it. I know, easier said than done, but that the dichotomy of relationships. Men are from Mars, Women are from Venus.

    • So you think I should just take it day by day? Really when we're together we act like a couple.

    • I've never really understood why, but for some reason we guys have very poor long term planning, especially when we're young. I was always the odd one out, thinking about long term stuff, just never got there. But I watched my friends go through what you are. You could try to casually broach the subject and see what his thoughts are. Has he given any indication he wants a relationship? Or, alternately, any indication he doesn't want one?

    • He has told me he's not seeing anyone else but we have never discussed about putting a title on anything. The only thing closest to saying something was one night him, another friend and I were discussing breakups and I had said that after my most recent breakup (about 7 months ago) I had not been ready for a relationship/boyfriend. And he chimed in and said "but now you are?"

What Girls Said 1

  • I would wait until a month and a half. So a couple of more weeks and then say something.