Guys, wtf is up with this situation?

Okay so, I met this guy in college. He was always taken, and so was I so we never saw eachother as anything more then friends. Last year we both went through a breakup at the same time, and started texting. We became really close and talked about everything. We came up with a plan to be fuck buddies. A plan we thought would work for both of us given neither of us wanted a relationship. (We are both in careers now and both busy) We've slept together a few times now. When I started getting deeper then friend feelings for him, I told him. He turned me down and said he wanted to be friends and was happy with the way things were. It's been a few months since that talk, we still sleep together, talk all day everyday, always know what the other ones doing. We know things about eachother nobody else knows about us. I feel really connected to him. So much so, I'm turning down dates and opportunities with other men. I'm not even interested in anyone else, do I break it off?


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10

Most Helpful Guy

  • You should seriously think it other if he has no intentions of taking your feelings seriously, because this clear that although he might value as a friend, he is still using you for sex, so to keep your friendship going you should consider whats more important, ie the friendship or a relationship that he controls?, x

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    • That's so much! Very helpful. I'm just so confused. We talk on the phone all the time, text ALL day, we act like boy friend/girl friend. I don't get why he would treat me that way if he dosent have feelings for me. You know?

    • I understand, and really, he has got to enjoy your company to maintain this sort of relationship, the only thing is, and that's his lack of respect for your feelings, and that's never a good sign, so really, he's treating you as a friend even when you have sex, and nothing more where he should be realising that your much more than a friend, which even to me this is obvious, x

What Guys Said 9

  • You are in a relationship with him , but you are more committed to it than him.
    You could ask him once more about exclusivity, but it sounds like he might not be up for it.
    If you two are friends with benefits , then just go on those dates, and maybe he might come around when he sees that you are less available to be hie sex toy.

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  • You have too... he got what he wanted and dipped out. you should of never agreed. the past is the past now though. you can't change how he feels nor can you change the past. Your gonna have to realize your two options. do I keep fighting for this when it's only going to hurt me more, or do i go try to progress and enjoy my life?

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  • Don't break it off. So what if he doesn't admit it, it's still a relationship. And if you guys have done that... then I think that in time, he'll accept you. I think he's just afraid that making you his girlfriend officially would put a burden of responsibilities on both of you which he is trying to evade.
    Best of luck!

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  • This is the problem with the whole F. B. thing eventually one person either the man or the woman get attached emotionally and of course the other doesn't feel the same in your case you are getting attached and he doesn't want that you would be smart to let him go now cause you will start the whole "why am i not good enough to date but good enough to fuck" mentallity then you'll get clingy and needy and hell get frustrated and break it off and then you'll be destroyed and hate men

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  • amazing how easy it is to toy with a womans mind. you want him becuase in your mind you can't have him. when you act like you dont care about the relationship women always come crawling to you just like this. its like its wired into your brain. this is why i never tell a girl whether or not i "like" her, it always drives her crazy when she doesn't know.

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    • This is so true! It's crazy.

    • your neediness would make any guy feel like they have you in the palm of their hand.

  • Break it off duh, he just likes a bang maid.

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  • I mean, Sadly, as he said, he doesn't want it anymore then friends with benefits, though! I think you should stop your connection with him, maybe he's just using you as a DTF!

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  • Hang in there, but remember... you both agreed. Fuck buddies only. Don't push him for anything else.

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    • I am completely happy with it the way things are. But I have this need to push it and I know I shouldn't. Good advice thank you!

  • Don't break it off, wait until his feelings return

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