My boyfriend of one year and I had our first big big fight. I asked him to remove his ex girlfriend on fb not bc she was his ex but long story short she keeps doing weird stuff on fb at or towards our relationship. My boyfriend is the type that doesn't let anyone or anything get to him. So he shrugs her off and moves on. I however have been dealing with this patiently waiting for her to move on. I messaged her and just broke the ice didn't say anything mean or question anything, just introduced myself and broke tension. i told my boyfriend he didn't really seem to care thought it was a waste. I then just straight asked him to remove her, he did not like that at all, asked me to stop talking if that was all i was going to talk about. It went on and on just me explaining why and him arguing no. She had i assume accidently tagged herself in one of our love photos lol and me being immature and pissed off I went ahead and approved bc i was so hurt that my boyfriend would remove a person he didn't care about for the love of his life. I was angry and thought the irony that she is in the photo was just too good to miss. I regret doing it. My boyfriend then acted out by removing his fb and telling me that now i am in a relationship online with myself. then later he told me i was in a relationship with her. I called him crying and upset and hurt. He didn't care said thats what i get. He was very hurtful with his words and I began to cry so hard I was jolting with my body you know that type of cry where everytime he says something hurtful u litterally feel it in your heart. I had never cried that hard over a relationship. I asked him to stop that he ws hurting me litterally. He wouldn't i cried and cried. He said why are you crying like a 5 year old on the phone. I didn't say anything just wept. He then said why are we on the phone if your not talking. I told him just go, just go just go i could verily get the words out of my mouth i was crying so hard. He hangs up. I try to control my emotions before I litterally make myself sick. He then tried to face time with me , he called 11 times and I ignored them all I had been crying 4 hours over this, i was in so much pain i couldnt talk anymore, i was so upset i couldnt talk there was nothing left in me. I fell asleep crying and woke up a mess. He has yet to call or anything. I don't know what to do... are we over? should i wait for him? am i suppose to call? Is this normal behavior for a bf? HELP
Most Helpful Girl
It sounds like this has been going on for a long time.
Firstly, I completely understand where you are coming from. I've been there myself before. From your point of view, you feel that because there is still a connection between them, even a facebook one, there must still be some sort of emotionally connection. Yes? From his point of view, he's moved on, he sees her as nothing more than a number on his facebook friends and he doesn't understand why you don't get it - you are in a relationship, everyone knows you are, why isn't that enough? After all, you don't choose who he's friends with, why should you?
Both of you are correct. But you can't find common ground over it. Neither of you will be happy - if he removes her, he will feel controlled. If he doesn't remove her, you will feel unloved and under valued. It's a catch 22.
Firstly, you need to calm down. Deep breathes. Cry it out but also try and distract yourself. Put a film on. Get some ice cream. Whatever you need to do to make you feel better.
Don't contact him just yet. Emotionally you aren't ready, you are like an over inflated balloon - the smallest of things could make you pop. Send him a message tomorrow or the day after, just simple, say "I'm really sorry, I know I over reacted, I feel really sensitive and just need a bit of time to cool off, hope you don't mind" It's simple, it's too the point, it's honest. You aren't breaking up with him, you aren't asking for a break, you're just asking for a bit of space. If you don't want to text him, don't worry about it, but don't contact him with a "hey how are you" until you are ready.
As for if it's normal... yes for an angry boyfriend it's normal. You aren't necessarily over, you just need to talk about it and understand each other. If you can't do that, then you may be over.0