Why do guys act hot and cold?

I met this guy on a dating site and everything seemed great. After the first date, he would text me frequently and he would usually initiate convos. He would say he would want to see me again, and how he wanted me to meet his friends. Suddenly, out of nowhere he grew cold and did not answer to my texts. He asked me out and when I asked him when, he did not reply. At least have the decency to say you're not free or busy, lol. It's annoying.


Most Helpful Guy

  • A lot of girls seem to be having this problem. Maybe us guys do not want to seem clingy. Or our testosterone makes us hot and cold...

    • LOL but why can't you at least tell someone you're not interested or anything? Or that you're busy? I thought he liked me. I told him I was leaving the states for a month and he implied that he is gonna miss me.

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    • That's not possible. What really annoys me is why can't he just say "no" or "I'm busy"? Because I will definitely respect his decision and leave him alone until he contacts me. I'm not clingy and never really double text. Maybe he finds me different from a bunch of clingy girls he hung out with to feed his ego. He's a musician and I'm a college student during engineering so.

    • I had a music major roommate and he always acted aloof and spacey, maybe some of them like to act that way. I'm a science major myself and I like to make everything clear so I can't claim to understand him, he probably thinks it's cool to ignore girls sometimes. Whatever just talk to him or if not then I have no clue.


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What Guys Said 1

  • Guys act that way when they dont know what they want
    when they are afraid to make a concise decision

    • Do you think he is playing hard to get? Or not interested (anymore as I see it).

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    • Not sure what he was looking for but out of the blue he said he doesn't sleep around. Got a bit suspicious about that. I've had suspicions that he would turn out clingy. Once I said I cannot tolerate clingers to which he did not answer. After that day, he texted me saying he wanted to see me again, meet his friends and to add him on FB. I guess I rarely flirt with him or anything at all. Never talked or implied about anything sexual. Guess now I know why he's fading.

    • you can't worry about people turning out clingy lol
      just date and see where it leads, he probably mentioned that he doesn't sleep around so you can know he is looking for more than a hook up

What Girls Said 2

  • That makes me think of that one song. XD


    • Normally if a guy talks to u a lot one day and then the next mostly ignores you. That means he's not interested majority of the time.

    • I know right. Guys are so annoying. I am always usually the first who ends the convos and rarely double text. I hope he doesn't think I'm too accommodating or needy.

  • I know how you feel because it's happened to me quite a bit as well:/ Where a guy would seem like he's extremely interested and sweet and then pull away. I don't get it either. That's why I'm very guarded now :/

    • I just don't reply. I have to think like a guy. I don't want to be a clinger so I leave it like that. I never text or call him because I will come off as too needy. Calling is a big no for me. Strange thing he calls me hon all the time.

    • Oh yeah I definitely know what you mean. There was a guy that I knew since high school and he moved a few hours from me and he said that he liked me and I liked me too for a little while but then he started just pulling away slowly. He loved to play the disappearing act so I'm like I don't have time for that:/