Any idea what's going on? He's confusing the hell out of me!

we've been going out for over 2 months now and lately I feel like he's distancing himself from me.

okay here's the story: I tried to initiate the 'exclusivity' talk to him a few weeks ago. I asked if we were indeed exclusive and he said, "yeah. we're dating. we're having fun." sensing that he wasn't ready to talk, I let it go. I never brought up the topic again. now, we talk a lot over the course of a day - through SMS, he calls, I call him.

a few weeks after in one of our conversations, we were casually talking about not sharing stuff with anyone and he said that there are very few things in life he doesn't share like his CDs, his car and me (poor choice of words but I don't think he meant to describe me as an object to be possessed) and he doesn't like it when other guys approach me. lately I feel like I'm the one who always has to initiate things, he's always busy but he makes time for me when he wants to see me and he calls at least once a day if he is. I dunno, am I just being paranoid? I feel like if I don't initiate communication between us, things will just fizzle and die. I'm thinking of sending him this SMS, "is everything okay? lately I feel like I'm just bugging you every time I try and talk to you." but I'm not sure cause I don't want to nag him but I don't want to be lead on either because if we're going nowhere then I want out now. he's an awesome guy but he's just been a little too unavailable.


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What Guys Said 1

  • No, he didn't mean to describe you as an object...I'd say the same thing, completely innocently and sincerely...try not to over-think things (not saying that you do)...

    As for the commitment thing, it's time for some communication. Yeah the SMS you have in mind is good, but better, much better, to bring that up face-to-face. Have a real discussion about it, and just let him know that you want to know where things are. Guys tend to freak out if they sense that a girl wants to "control" them--I know that's not your intent, but just approach him in a low-pressure way when he's in a conversational mood, to avoid trouble or an unnecessary argument. Most important thing--be entirely willing to accept the possibility, as much as it may disappoint you, that he's not ready to be exclusive/more available. Keeping that mindset of acceptance will help you not put too much pressure on him, or yourself. Best of luck.

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What Girls Said 1

  • He may have somehing going on at work or at school, or some family stuff. if he makes time for you, there's not much to worry about. if it keeps going on like this, I think you should just sit down and talk with him, making sure he knows you care about him and don't want him to be sad about anything. and that you want to be a part of his life meaning he can share his problems with you.

    that's what I'd do if I were you. but wait for a little while.

    :)

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