Do girls under estimate how hard dating is for guys?

It really does feel like they do, they have no idea how hard it is for a guy to get a date with a girl he likes, let alone anything beyond that

This is why many many men have given up on women

Updates:
Man I'd love it if for one week no woman in the world got approached or got any compliments or any attention, they would all probably commit suicide.

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Most Helpful Guy

  • I feel you, its not so much that its so hard to approach its that women take such JOY in rejecting you in the most hurtful way possible. At least here in the US. Then when all the normal men stop trying and only the narcissistic assholes approach them they wonder why "no good guys approach me." And how come all the guys I date turn out to be assholes? Well because you only date guys who are "confident" or never show any nervousness, because quite frankly, the don't give a shit about you, so they aren't nervous about whether it works or not.

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    • You think we enjoy rejecting guys? I think it's one of the worst things ever.

    • @ spuitkaas well you must enjoy it since so
      many women do it.

    • @Toughlyforfemales
      Oh come on. Rejecting people feels horrible. It's not like we go out of our way to get a boy interested just to reject him. We're just not interested. It's better to reject a guy that you're not interested in because you know it's not going to work out in the long run. To me dating a someone you're not interested in is just a waste of time and money for both parties.

What Girls Said 15

  • Blah blah blah...
    I'm a girl and I also have a hard time with guys, I've never been on a date or anything.
    Stop generalizing.
    Guys think that all girls have it sooo easy.. hell no. Some girls, yes they do, but also some guys have it easy as well. It all depends on the person.

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    • But the difference is that girls make it hard for themselves, but guys have it hard because of girls.

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    • @dangerDoge I completely agree.

    • I feel kind of like I betrayed the bros here. Sorry bros.

  • Dude, it's hard for all of us. Men worry about having to make the first move. Women worry about coming on too strong when they're interested and WANT to make the first move. No one has it easy and life is not the suffering olympics.

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    • Don't worry about making the first move the vast majority of guys either genuinely don't care, or they like it when the woman asks them out. Especially, when we have no idea if she is into us.

    • @genuinlysensitive I never said these were my personal issues. I'm an assertive person and go for what I want.

  • I think it accounts for both genders. We sometimes forget how difficult it is to first approach a girl, but you guys forget that it's hard for us too.
    You see, some girls (most girls actually) don't get asked out by the guy they like and some guys are not used to get asked out so they'll think you're desperate. I know this will get some downvotes, but lots of guys like the hunt and don't like it if a girl takes that away from him.
    Also you guys do the first step, the further steps are taken by both of them. We need to look approachable, know how to flirt, have a good posture, take initiative, keep the conversation going etc. Just like guys do.

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  • No I certainly do not underestimate this.. i actually feel u guys, I haven't been in ur place but I can imagine the difficulty and nervousness and the courage it takes for u to do it..
    Soo.. Chapeau Bas to u guys!

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  • Why do guys keep posting questions like this in order to vent. The same thing happens every time. The girls and guys who disagree with you get down voted and berated by those who think like you. You've obviously made up your mind and nothing anyone says will change it.

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  • Maybe he should let the girls he likes actually KNOW so she can go on the date with him or if she refuses then the guy can move on to the next girl he likes and not obsess over someone who didn't like him to begin with.

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  • Yeah I do because guys don't approach me and I get rejected all the time.

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  • I guess we do. I've always thought that guys have it easy.

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  • I'm a woman. I never get any compliments, attention, or ever get approached. So I know how you feel. Maybe I should give up on men. :(

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  • Yes, I do think a lot of women are completely unaware what dating is like for a lot of men out there.

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  • What about women like me? I can't get a guy I like to date me either

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    • I agree. Its hard to see things from another perspective. People commonly underestimate how hard the other side has things.

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    • I've sent over 200 good clean messages tailored to the specific girl's profiles, what a waste of time because I get 0 replies.

    • my problem might be "small" in your eyes, but as a girl you get told that finding guys are easy, you only need to be there to get approach etc, so when i can't get a guy it hurts more because that means it something very wrong with me. It either means my personality is the worse or im very unattractive. And when it comes to you, or most guys, not getting repsonses from women, i can't really answer shy some women dont respond. Some are just rude, other might not have seen you message because they get so many messages from many guy on a daily basis... it must suck.. but i do belive that if you're attractive you dating is easy for you, if you not as attractive you have to work harder.. Dating isn't easy, period.

  • Actually I probably do :/ But only if he doesn't make it obvious he likes me. IF he's showing he cares and being upfront about his motives/feelings I appreciate it. But if he's playing it way too cool, I won't accept or even notice he's trying to get a date...

    so it can be hard for us too.

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  • So you're saying dating is not hard for women? Bullshit.

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    • It's nowhere near as hard as it is for men

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    • Wrong, I used an average picture, and got decent messages

    • Sure you did.. I can tell you that is not normal.

  • They can give up if they like. I could give up because of all the guys who I found out were lying assholes, cheaters and losers... but I just vet the bruhs better these days and discount them all and give up on men in general, that would be silly really.

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    • It's your own fault for going after the losers

    • At least I give relationships a try, I don't sit round bitching about how hard it is and how women don't appreciate your inferiority complex.

  • I never have.

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What Guys Said 22

  • I think most of them do under estimate how hard it is. Even after getting a date a guy has to consider things such as, will he be able to talk with the girl so he can connect with her while doing the activity he has planned, while at the same time trying to find something she is going to enjoy. Meaning women generally have no idea how much work goes into planning a date. Instead they think the guy just drives to a random place and they start the date.

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  • many many men have given up, really. like all the guys on your block? lol

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    • Look into Japan and Asia, it's spreading here as well (MGTOW)

    • so this is about MGTOW and not a personal issue

  • Some but not all, but that's double standards for ya. I see some girls on dating sites, say I'm not here for a hook up and if you're here for that then you have a game. While I don't blame them for not wanting to be just a booty call, they definitely have it a lot easier than guys especially when it comes to meeting someone in person.

    In fact, most of the girls I've hooked up with when it wasn't on a dating site, was when the girl initiated it. Not complaining but just saying if we were very up front with a girl by saying she's cute and wanna make out, fuck, they'd get creeped out. So in that case, girls have it a lot easier.

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  • depends. if they aren't attractive, its probably harder for women to get the guys they want. But there isn't a full understanding amongst some of them about being the one to consistently (not just for a day or two) make the first move. I did a take on this recently
    www.girlsaskguys.com/.../a10827-who-is-more-privileged-in-western-society-men-or-women

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  • It definitely seems like it. You'd think girls would try to help if they actually realized how hard it is for guys, but most of them don't.

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  • From a guy's standpoint I say its hard because of all the work we have to put in especially if we are shy. Many times we also don't want to creep the girl out, ruining our chances with her. We put try our hardest to get the girl, talking and many attempts at flirting, we get our hopes up and ask her out. Most times she rejects you and does so however unintentional in the most hurtful way possible. I can honestly say not all girls like this though. Dating for girls is also very hard though not as hard as guys have sometimes. If a girl rarely or never gets asked out it could make her feel very insecure about herself. That can be very hard and frustrating because then she feels she is not pretty enough for a guy to ask her out but in actuality it is what guys feel too. They think the girl didn't find them good enough for her and that is why she rejected him. With that being said I think us guys have it worse due to the amount of blood, sweat, and tears we sometimes put in over a girl sometimes only for it to fall apart like a deck of cards. In reality though both guys and girls suffer from the same problem: insecurity.

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  • Yeah they underestimate. Fully agree. I'm going to post something later that has a similar undertone.

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  • it's not hard bro... all u need's 2 find a gal who's perfect match 2 u ;)

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  • The problem is that if you or your sex generally doesn't have to do much of the initial work, and only get hit on it talked to or whatever then you never had to do any work, and you think that it is the same for everyone

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  • Only the Strong can prevail and the weak will perish! Hahahaha

    But for reals, it can be difficult for some people but generally dating is simply if you know what to do!

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  • Ehh I have a hard time dating not good at approaching and being short an all buut i dont think girls really have it any easyer than guys do with some people dating comes easy with others its not as easy its equally as difficult on both sides

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  • Yes, I don't know if women usually don't think how men who are not very attractive at first impression. Last year I flirted with a girl and I take 5 weeks trying everyday to have a date with her, but she had things she prefer to do than dating me. I told it to my
    psychologist, who is female, but she said date her and speak it. If a female
    psychologist can't understand who difficult is for a man to date a girl, what woman would understand it?

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  • Well I don't know who has the harder time men or women, but I do know is that it can get quite tough expressing interest in a woman (since we're the initiators, aggressors, person making the first move or whatever you want to call it) without being labelled as creep or pervert. I consider myself to be a good guy but still don't know how should I actually hit on (don't like the term either) or show interest without getting my image strained.

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    • On the other hand women who're not considered conventionally attractive can have a pretty hard time too.

  • I agree they act like us approaching is easy. They wouldn't last a day if they had
    to or were force to approach. They act like its so hard to sit there look pretty while its us guys that do all the leg work.

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  • If you're ugly then it's hard, the same is for girls. It's really not rocket science good looking people have it easier, for BOTH genders, then average and ugly looking people.

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  • stop whining...

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  • I think its easier for girls to get dates and laid but harder to get the guy they want.

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  • And vice versa. Just in different ways.

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  • I can't get the girls I like to date me. so I devalue myself and date less unattractive people that in the end didn't like me as well. basically ill give anyone fair go. but why tf can't you give me a fair go too

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  • Well yeah, they really don't know because they are not guys, they haven't experienced that. For a guy, trying to find someone is like trying to get a job. You send out resumes, go to interviews, make drop-ins and cold calls, being rejected over and over again. For a girl, it's more like being recruited - sit at home, the phone rings, mail arrives, and it's companies wanting to hire you. Sift through the offers and accept the one you like best. If you're not sure, each company will invite you in to be wined and dined and persuaded to join.

    I'm one of the ones who've given up completely. The system is just too warped and imbalanced at this point. If it were the opposite and women had to put in so much time, money and effort for very little return, jumping through hoops while men just sat back and judged, they'd never put up with it. And they'd be right.

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  • I really don't think they do, they just see us a misogynist rapists, even though we're the only ones doing the approaching and they don't understand how hard that is.

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