I've got a little bit of a backstory. I've been having suicidal thoughts, but not to gain attention. I've been bullied ever since 6th grade (I'll be a junior next year) and last September, I was done with the bullying. It got to the point where the main guy who made fun of me would do it right behind my back and I could hear my name being tossed around in the conversation. I talked to my school counselor about it and how I wanted to kill myself if I heard one more insult come out of his mouth. It also got to the point where every 2 or 4 months, all the things said about me would come to thought for no reason. Even if I listened to music, the insults wouldn't go away, and I'd have a nervous breakdown. There were only around 7 or 8 things that the one guy in my grade would say, but the insults were so insulting that it brought me down.
I've also been texting a friend of mine, and they've always been there for me when I had a suicidal thought and they talked me out of it. Then, one day they asked me to stop texting them like I was dying, and it never dawned on me as to how much I had to drag them through with me wanting to kill myself until that moment that he texted me that. Now I don't know who to talk to about what I'm going through. I cannot text my friends because they can contact my parents and tell them what I told them although I never fall through with my plans and I'm never going to commit suicide.
That's my backstory.
A few minutes ago, someone had posted on the feed a question about if anyone would want to date someone who is anorexic so I'm asking the same thing, but this time with depression/suicidal thoughts. I haven't cut myself before either, but every once a while and during the day, I'll have the thought of "you should cut yourself-no one will now" but I try not to listen to that thought.
Most Helpful Guy
To be honest, you have more pressing issues than having a boyfriend. If you were struggling with cancer, would you be looking for a boyfriend? Fix your biggest problems first. Anyway, it would be difficult to find a boyfriend if you feel depressed all the time. What would be the point for him if you're only gonna drag him down like your friend? I know it's easy to say for me but I've been through the same kind of crap when I was your age. Though I didn't let it get to me as much. With the state of mind you are in, every little thing you hear gets amplified 10 times. There is one guy spewing shit about you and you think he is worth losing your life over? You think he is worth this? Certainly not. You said you didn't want this, but I really, really think you should talk with your parents. You don't have to mention to them you feel suicidal but make them understand that you can't take it anymore. If the principal did nothing, your parents will make sure he does now. Also, it may seem like it's far away, but once you get to college, things will change for the better. Also you look cute, socializing then will be much easier... So,
1- Nevermind the boyfriend for now
2- TALK TO YOUR PARENTS. If they can't help you themselves, they'll find someone who can, it's their job.
3- Get better, only once you feel better will it show and guys will start getting interested in you. No one likes a downer...
Good luck !1