Is it good to lean back and let a guy initiate contact now? Or have I already blown my chances?

Me & this guy have been hanging & talking for a month. He knows how much I like him cause I've told him. He told me that he's new here & since he's been here I'm the only one he's really chilled with & that he likes hanging with me. We got sexual a few times but no intercourse. In the 1st few weeks, he seemed really into me. Texting long responses to me, joking, seeming eager to hang out. I've noticed that he's started to grow distant & I also thought back & realized that all the times we hung out, I was the 1 who asked if we could hang. We had fun hanging out. We laughed, joked, & just had fun. I annoyed him this past week. The last time we hung out, he was distant & not himself. He fell asleep on me & when I went to get out of bed to leave he woke up, grabbed me, & told me not to go. So I stayed & we cuddled. The cuddling turned sexual, but when I went to initiate actual intercourse because I really wanted to, he said he was really tired which he very well may have been. Because I felt stupid, I told him I was gonna go cause I had to work & gave him a kiss good night. He texted the next day & I asked about the distant attitude & he said it was because I rubbed him negatively with how I acted the night he was with his friends & that he just likes his space cause its what he's used to. I owned up to it & apologized. My sister told me to not initiate anymore contact with him. No texting him 1st, no asking to hang out, no asking what he's up to, no contact at all. She said he may feel we're in relationship boundaries & that's why he's distant. So I haven't texted him. He texted me the day before yesterday, but not in the last 2 days. I'm short but still friendly with him & not flirty either. Is this a good move or have I already blown my chances with him? I know everyone says to always respond, but NEVER initiate contact with a guy or they will bolt on you. Because I've initiated before, but pulled back, will this put me back in good graces with him?


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Most Helpful Guy

  • Anyone who says NEVER initiate contact has no idea what they are talking about. Don't listen to your sister, I doubt she knows what she is talking about. Just initiate contact. Think about it, you like a guy texting first.. why? Because it shows interest. Why would that be bad/different for a girl texting a guy? It wouldn't, in fact the good feels would be magnified because this NEVER happens to guys because people who talk nonsense say to NEVER initiate contact because they be dumb.

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What Guys Said 1

  • he'll initiate only if he's interested as well.
    but if he always initiate and u never do he might assume u just tolerate him... even if u respond back

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What Girls Said 1

  • I believe you should initiate this time. It's not a big deal.

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