What are the chances of someone changing their mind after they reject you?

Has this ever happened to anyone? Say you don't contact them at all, they know how you feel, and do find you physically attractive, what are the chances they will decide to give you a shot?


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Most Helpful Guy

  • I did do this actually, but I think it is because the girl changed her appearance and then I got slightly jealous when she started seeing my friend.

    See back in college, her friend was in my class and snapchatted a picture of me, and she kept replying saying I was hot and handsome and all of this and I thought she was taking the p! ss at first but then I got home to find she'd added me on Facebook and Snapchat, and she was suddenly really clingy and I didn't feel the same about her so I was never really interested.

    But anyway after so many months she'd suddenly lost a lot of weight and she looked absolutely gorgeous in herself. Think she started wearing more make-up too but I'm not a fan of too much but overall she looked really nice and I sort of regretted not picking her up sooner but I just got on with it. But what made it worse then she got with one of my close friends and he's got a bad reputation with girls because he likes to get what he can get out of them and then gets bored and stops talking to them, I tried to warn her but she didn't listen to me and she got her heart broken. But my point to this is, yes I did change my mind about her but because her appearance changed.

    They did get back together for a few months but they aren't together any more. She has a different boyfriend now, I have a girlfriend and I think my friend is currently talking to somebody but not sure if they're together

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What Guys Said 41

  • I think if you stay friends, work on yourself, don't get angry with them and are there for them when they are in trouble, they'll eventually give you another evaluation!

    But you have to show some responsiveness to criticism they make of you...

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  • For me it's happened, but they changed their mind after I had lost some weight. I was still the same person and had too much respect for myself to make anything of it. I respected their feelings when they rejected me, they should also be able to do the same.

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  • -10000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000% there is no chance of anyone changing their mind after a rejection, if they said no, they meant it for a reason, it's because they don't like you, it sounds cruel but it's true, moving on is the only way

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    • For a credibility check, I'm saying this because I've made this stupid mistake all through out high school, I've never had a girlfriend because I chased the same two girls for 4 years, they constantly rejected me, yet I wasted my time them. I was a pinball I got rejected by one and I asked the other one going back and forth constantly getting rejected by both. Then boom! 4 years wasted, an 18 year old with not even a kiss! Now I'm going to the most preppy school in the south where women high rocket high expectations, I'm essentially screwed because I have no dating experience. All I'm saying is moving after rejection. It's the only way to live a good sane life

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    • I'm thinking it's more case by case since everyone is different and thinks differently.

    • Well Im sorry but your wrong, pepole say no because they do not like them, call me a pessimist but not only have I fallen for this trap, but multiple of my friends did the same and they are miserable. If you wanna have false hope, then go ahead, but the cruel truth is real life isn't an 80's teen movie, pepole do not like pepole. Again it's your life just remover not to waste it for nothing like me, all I'm saying

  • If they reject you and then easily change their mind they are not a decisive person...

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  • Very unlikely

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  • I think someone else may have made a similar statement before this, but some people reject to attract (evolutionary psychology). So whether it is a case of that, or just a case of honestly being rejected, I guess the question you have to ask yourself is - "do I want someone who is going to play games with me" (given the 1st case of reject to attract), or, "do I want someone who didn't really want to be with me to begin with" (the simple rejection scenario).

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  • I really think it depends on how you act from the start. If you start off by making them feel like they are your world, then the less chances you might have of winning them over but If after you got rejected they think they've had some impact on you, then I think your chances are now very slim. Be very casual in telling them you like them in the first place and then afterwards live fun, do interesting things and act as though you never got rejected, I think this might give you at least 50% chance. We are never normally attracted to people who are head over heels for us because we really just want someone who is comfortable with themselves.

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  • Very unlikely, there's also been times where a girl I talk to says they're interested and then ignores me out of the blue but comes back a few months later. I'd be very skeptical of those people unless they have a damn good reason like a health issue or an emergency because in those events usually the person found someone else, got dumped or left and is coming back for attention and validation. I have no patience for that shit.

    I mean if you and the person then just want a hook up then why not but if you try to be in a relationship with them in those circumstances, you're setting yourself up for failure and hurt.

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  • It's impossible to say. So much depends on the two people involved, how you met, what your relationship is like, what both of you look for in a relationship, etc. More likely than not, if someone can't see themselves being with you early on, they probably never will.

    Whatever you do, don't try to change their mind. Don't be nice to them, or be their friend, or whatever to try to show them they should be with you. If you try to change their mind, you'll guarantee it won't happen because they'll see right through you and no one's going to fall for someone who's practically begging for their approval.

    Just go about your life, focus on yourself, and whatever happens, happens.

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  • The odds of change is very little, unfortunately.

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  • Just move on. If you try to get with them more than once then you come off as desperate and that'll only push them farther away from you. Let them come to you now. Go and live your life and perhaps start a relationship with someone who really wants to be with you.

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  • All depends on the person and the circumstances. I've had it happen. Did the confessional thing, got soundly rejected, ended up dating later. I'll admit, it was an exception, and I was lucky.

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  • It happens, but dont wait around for it, go live your life, find better

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  • Be careful because at times guys will know how you feel about them so they won't make you a priority because they feel like they can always just hit you up and you'd be down to hang out or what not so if he knows how you feel about him and he still has not contact you or don't show any motives i would suggest you move on don't wait around.

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  • If some girl rejects me, I'll never give her another chance as long as I live. She may be alright in the friend zone, which is where most ladies belong anyway.

    I understand why women have rejected me in the past. While I don't blame them, I've moved on. They failed to see the real me that's inside. So now that there's more of an attractive air about me, what I have to offer a woman is not for them. If you can't get what you want, try for something better.

    I can get real deep about this if I need to, but I'll spare you (for now).

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  • I really think there is a 50/ 50 chance of anything coming out of it..

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  • It's really hard to tell. I'm going through the same this right now, but at the end as much as it hurts it's better to be single and not with someone who doesn't know what they want.

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  • Pretty high if you act like you're no longer interested.. A lot people want what they can't have and are turned off by people who express a high interest in them.

    That being said.. It's probably not a good idea to get involved with someone of that nature. You'll end up getting hurt in the long run.

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  • Chances are very low. Well it depends upon how you had interacted earlier, how you spent time with him, what kind of words you share and jokes you crack on each other. If you had all these crazy experiences the there is definitely the high chance of changing his mind :)

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    • We got along very well and spent a lot of time together. So yeah, it's not like I'm someone he barely knows.

    • then be optimistic :)

  • If female: 100%

    If male: About "not alot".

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  • The fact is that zero.

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  • Flip a coin.

    I don't really know the story behind this question, so I'll need more info.

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    • We have known each other for like 9 months and have hooked up before. He is physically attracted to me and everything. I used to text him often and he did not know how I felt the entire time, but I just told him and he said he did not feel the same way. I have stopped texting him completely so I'm waiting to see what happens.

  • Ignoring that you find them attracted and "pretending" that you are over the crush will make their mind be like "what? hmm. maybe i missed out on something." there are chances they will start to chase you then the ball is in your court.

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    • That's basically what I'm doing. Not contacting him or anything. I just stepped away basically. He does seem to enjoy chasing people I noticed, so I'm hoping that will work with him.

  • I don't know. I'm not sure that's happened yet to me.

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  • There is a chance of course but don't expect it

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  • my girlfriend and i broke up and stayed friends and now were dating again. So if you stay friends then you should still have a shot

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  • Why would you want them to change their mind? If they rejected you to begin with, chances are there is a reason for it.

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    • I want to get to know him on a higher level.. we actually have quite a few things in common so I really believe something good would come out of it if he gave it a shot.

  • almost impossible

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  • It can happen. But it won't happen usually.

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  • I only rejected a few girls. Yes i would "maybe" change my mind if they lost 50-80 pounds.

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What Girls Said 36

  • The odds of someone changing their mind after rejecting another seem to depend on three things...
    1.) How much pride they posses
    2.) What or who else is alluring them in life
    3.) If you made an impression on them

    Something like that happened to me once. I was crazy over this unbearably, tiring complicated guy who couldn't figure out if he wanted a legitimate girlfriend or a hoe. He couldn't decide if he wanted to sink into pure, genuine, full-scale intimacy or if he wanted to dive into the intrigue of selfish, reckless, greedy, egotistical lust. He blatantly said he wasn't rejecting me, but it felt like he was because he was telling me that he didn't want to me with me. So, I cried for a bit then my friend reminded me of my capabilities :) I partied hard, sewed ballgowns, modeled, participated in a marathon, got straight A's and one month later after complete absence and exile from my life, he was begging like a pitiful, neglected puppy on an ASPCA commercial. :) Literately at my doorstep with my favorite Boston cream pie Milano cookies.

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    • That's awesome. Did you go out with him afterwards? I hope the same happens to me. I feel the same way that I have a lot going for me.. and it's only been a little over a week since we have not had contact so I know there is still time.

    • I took him back later to find out that he was doing the same sneaky, shady, dramatic BS behind my back except in an even worse way. It ended with him getting smacked in the face.

      However, we were in an actual relationship so it may be different if you just have a crush. We were in love so that situation is a bit more complex. What's your situation?

    • We have mutual friends, have known each other for almost a year, and are attracted to each other. We have hooked up multiple times, which I'm sure did not help anything. We have a lot in common and get along well. I met him back in my party type days, which I don't really party anymore. It's complicated since I'm sure he thought I only wanted sex and was a slut, but I'm actually very monogamous and faithful. I guess you could call it a crush, except things did happen and the attraction isn't just one-sided. I never shared my feelings with him until a week ago.

  • I wouldn't wait for someone to change their opinion of me. If they can't see beyond physical attractiveness it might simply mean they are only interested in your body and by rejecting you they actually trying to protect you from being used for your looks. It is not a bad thing to be rejected on this ground, although it still hurts.

    Emotional connection is equally important for boys and gals to have a chance of a healthy relationship. If they tell you it is only physical attraction - show some respect for yourself and move on. It is also about showing respect for them and their decision.

    The chances of them starting to pursue you are much higher when you have already moved on. It may turn into somewhat chase potentially, so be still mindful of the fact they find you physically attractive. In a case with guys, some of them get thrill out of chase only - these are not worth waiting.

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  • would you want someone who changes their mind one minute to the next?

    for me if i ask someone out its not just to see if they are interested.

    its to get an idea how they handle the situation and treat me.

    and to decide what to do. of they say no i know to move on.

    if they say no bc its not a good time or whatever and are polite then id give them a shot if they became interested. but if they are just like no fuck off they dont get a chance. and if they go from uninterested to interested its unlikely ill give them a chance.

    1 bc ill probably have moved on.

    2 bc i dont trust erratic behavior.

    3. its a turn ff for someone to not be interested when i am.

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  • There are chances, only I couldn't say if they're high or low. My advice in any case is not to expect anything and not to be waiting for a call or something. If happens, great, if it doesn't happen, at least you're not gonna be wasting time and energy in an illusion :/

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  • It can happen. Man are so undecided. They don't know what they want so one day they can reject you, next day they can want you so badly just keep him interessed. Don't be all over him, show him you have other opinions that way he will see what he's losing so he fight for you. Kiss*

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    • Yeah I'm not going to text him again. I used to quite often but I think he will miss me more if I ignore him.

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    • Thank you. :)

    • You're welcome, anytime :)

  • Not going to happen. Be with someone who's crazy about you, not someone who rejects you then comes back.

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  • There was one guy I wasn't even interested in but he rejected me bc he thought i liked him 'cause we were just chatting. I didn't care and let it go as but a month later, after he realised I don't pay attention to him he started chasing me. He sent me friend requests, liked my photos, wrote me love letters and said he loves me. This happened many many times. But I didn't give a damn anymore. No one likes a good girl until she doesn't give a darn anymore.

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  • It's possible. Someone can change their mind being an unexpected chance. They probably realise that there feelings for you may have gotten stronger or even developed at this stage. So it can happen.

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    • Well I'm thinking because I used to text him often, and now I'm not texting him at all, that maybe he will decide that he misses me and wants to give me a chance. We knew each other for several months and he had no idea how I felt. So I'm thinking he may re-think it as time goes on. I know he finds me attractive and all.

    • Have you told him you like him and that you would like to see if things worked out between the two of you?

      Guys don't take hints, like they can't take the most obvious hints, unless you are like "dude I really like you"

  • Almost zero. They rejected that person for a reason. Most likely they won't change their minds

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  • No way to know because it depends on many factors. Yes, it's happened to me and I wasn't interested.

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  • He said he is not interested. Enough said. Move on. Sorry.

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  • Well every guy that rejects me comes back into my life, also I've had a couple guys tell me they regretted rejecting me and that they want me now. Except I moved on so that gets awkward!

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    • I think this is actually the first time I've been rejected, since I never approach the guy myself. So I wouldn't know how that works really.

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    • Just give it sometime :) live your life! He'll come back if he's meant to!

    • Thank you, that is what I'm doing. Not contacting him at all since I used to text him often.

  • Happens all of the time.

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  • Very slim... if they rejected you the first time, likely they honestly don't like you for you and you should accept that and move on.

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  • Sometimes they will come around. But in all honesty, he/she rejected you..
    why would you want someone who rejected you in the first place then decided to give you a shot? Move on :)
    Find someone else! I'm sure you're worth way more than waiting around for someone.

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  • Honestly it's never happened to me but I don't know how I'd feel if it did

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  • Get to know the person. Closeness softens peoples hearts.

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  • Lol this is exactly what I want to know too

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  • Not likely. It's best not to count on it and just move on.

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  • Dont know but I would never want someone who has rejected me

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  • I've been the one to change my mind quiiitteeeee a bit

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  • i think if you made an impression they'd see you in a new light and maybe give you another chance.

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  • Times can change many decisions
    You gotta be patient enough to see the results

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  • This hasn't happend to me. The men who have rejected me are usually dead set in their opinon.

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  • If you left a mark on him

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  • None but maybe a little

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  • If i reject someone i never change my mind. I'm not an indecisive person , so once i make up my mind... that's final.

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  • I think it really depends on the reason for the rejection. For example - a guy might reject you because of bad timing (just got out of a relationship, too many other things going on in his life) and I'd say in this case he could change his mind when the timing is better. He may also reject you if he feels inadequate - some guys seem to fear not having enough to keep the girl happy so will not get into a relationship at all for fear of getting hurt. He may mature and/or become more confident and could change his mind then. So I think it is possible for him to change his mind; however, keep your options open...

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    • I honestly don't know why he didn't share any feelings, and I didn't ask him. I think I waited too long to tell him how I felt. I think he has some fear since he has been screwed over by other women and "used" by people. I'm just using the no contact rule right now and am hoping since he is used to me texting him often, that he will start to miss me and eventually reach out now that he knows how I feel. I'm not relying on it though, but rather hoping for the best.

    • It's really hard to guess what is going on and sometimes I think what you do will have little influence either way - they have to work on whatever their issue is themselves.

  • One guy did it to me. I gave him a second chance bc he said he wanted to be friends. He then said he wanted to go on a date with me. He stoode up and ignored me for the rest of the year.

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  • To be honest if you guys haven't talked at all it's pretty slim.

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    • No we've talked a lot. We know each other fairly well.

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