Is he embarrassed or is he using me?

I'm dating a guy whose 36 and i'm 20 so it's a decent gap. I'd say I'm just as mature mentally but he has more life experience clearly. We've been going out for almost month and he texts me almost everyday, takes me out, stays over, and acts like he genuinely cares, but he hasn't introduced me to anyone in his life. For example, we were talking about July 4 plans and he said he was having a party with his friends and their wives. he didn't invite me or imply he was going toand I played it cool. is he embarrassed by my age or something or is he just using me? I understand it would be awkward for me to go but it's the gesture and if he really liked me wouldn't it not matter


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Most Helpful Guy

  • If i really like a girl and even though we have a age gap
    and she would be younger but legal age i wouldn't be shame
    to take her anywhere. My ex girlfriend was age 18 and i was 35 at
    the time and at one time yes i did really truly love her and
    we go in public and we exchanged hugs, kisses but yes
    he needs to communicate with you and let you know where
    you stand with him and it wouldn't be fair for him to go out
    to a July 4th party with not inviting you or least give a logical
    mature reason why he didn't invite you..

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What Guys Said 12

  • It's probably going to take some time for him to open up to you and show him around to everyone he know

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  • He might be a little worried about how people will perceive him dating a girl who is half his age. He has also been around the block a few times and so knows to take things slow at first.

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  • I understand your frustation, but it has only been a month and it would be a big step introducing you to his friends and their wives. if he was embarrassed he wouldn't be taking you out, he just needs more time to make sure things are gonna work out.

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  • He might be a little embarrassed about your age though I can kind of understand if he weren't to invite you to his fourth of July party all his friends are drinking age and will probably get piss drunk

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  • I would ask him why and not assume anything. There is def a gap and his reasons could be valid. On the contrary you not meeting anyone could also be a red flag. It's a new relationship could there be someone else? I'd say express your concern. Tell him you would like to go with him.

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  • It is the age. Everyone he knows is married and probably around his age. He is going out with a girl over a decade younger than him, and will probably take some time for his friends to understand and accept it.

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  • Still, both.

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  • You are his secret friends with benefits. . .

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  • He may just be nervous about introducing you to his friends and family. Talk to him about it.

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  • Is he single? Maybe his wife will be there? If he is single, he should have invited you. In answer to your question, I think a 36 year old guy would at the very least see his 20 year old girlfriend as a trophy, so I doubt he is ashamed of you.

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  • Well, the good thing is that it's at least legal, butttt to me, I need to be able to date someone who's at least able to drink, I'm 26, and will not get you in on fake Ids. It's not wort gerund in trouble over

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    • Worth getting*

  • Lol sounds like he's going to just sleep with you

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What Girls Said 3

  • Hmm... that would be a red flag to me. Why not ask him directly if he is inviting you, and if not, why not? Better to know where you stand in advance... I once dated a guy for almost 2 years, and if we met any of his friends on the street, he never introduced me to anyone. And, funnily enough, once he threw a huge Party in his Apartment... and didn't invite me. It was super awkward because I worked with some of his friends, who all assumed that I would be there, too. When I confronted him about it, he acted like it was my mistake for not remembering that he had invited me, but yeah... I'm pretty sure I would have remembered. Needless to say, we're not dating anymore and I do not regret that at all. Plenty of fish out there who will be happy to invite you to their fish School in the sea ;)

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  • It might be neither just it might be both.
    A man could easily be embarrassed about that age difference and just use you while he can, not take this relationship seriously.
    I've been with a man ten years older than me and he was always overthinking the age difference, he couldn't deal with it. He might not be able to do so.
    Try to ask him directly what he think about that age difference.

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  • He sounds sketchy as fuck... but it could just be too soon for him because if he hasn't wanted to introduce you to anyone as his girlfriend then it doesn't sound like he's taking things seriously with you. Ask him how he views your relationship.

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