Why are girls so indecisive on what they want?

I just went out with a girl for the first time last week after talking to her online for a week before hand and everything went great. She said she had a great time on the way back and said that we needed to get together again soon. Then about 2 or 3 days later she starts being extremely quiet and hardly responding to text/calls. Let me just say that I never tried to contact her more than once a day so I did not blow her phone up at all. So I finally got fed up with it and nicely asked her what was going on and if I had done or said anything wrong. Her response was that she just got out of a relationship about 2 months ago and that she thought she was ready to date again, but was having a hard time coping with everything at the moment. I have no idea how long or serious her previous relationship was, but I mean seriously? Why can't girls make up their mind about what they want before leading a guy on? And then on top of it all just go cold as ice cream and make us have to ask what happened? Any insight to why this is girls?


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Most Helpful Girl

  • Guys do that too. And it's always an excuse for "I just don't like you"

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    • Glad to finally hear this. Don't you think It's pretty shitty to tell someone you had a great time and say that "we need to do this again soon" and then flip the switch like that though?

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    • Well then we are exactly alike lol. I am a very decisive person and indecisive people annoy the crap out of me.

    • Exactly lol don't waste my time. It's rude.

What Girls Said 5

  • Sometimes you think you're ready for a new relationship and then it turns out you're not. That can happen to anyone regardless of gender

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  • 1) Some are, some aren't. Don't generalize.

    2) How can she help what she feels? It doesn't matter how much she rationalized that she was able to move on, if she honestly doesn't feel that way, that doesn't mean she's truly changing her mind.

    You can mentally fix emotions like this. You have to DEAL with them so that you can then progress. I'm betting she wasn't even leading you on--she tried to move forwards and her emotions held her back when she thought she could.

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    • Wow. I need to proofread better. *You CAN'T mentally fix emotions like this*.

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    • Lol. Personal anecdotes shouldn't be projected onto the whole of a group because it only confirms bias and that is irrational. I play in the realm of facts. Some do, some don't. In your personal bubble of reality, the majority of women have done this to you. Understandable.

      She could be lying or she could be telling the truth. You honestly don't know. I can understand how frustrating it is, but what use is it to dwell on it? Would finding out make anything different because there are many women who wouldn't lie as well as many who would and there's no way to truly differentiate between them?

      I love the mentality that a lot of men embrace: if it's something that you can't control or can't figure out due to a number of possibilities, fuck it/wait for later and move on. Very stress-less.

    • True enough. Dating just sucks. end of story. On the flip side of this I hear so many women complain of why men are so guarded or not caring. They have nothing to blame except for the women before them that caused the guy to be like this. Which, is also not fair. It's an endless cycle that scars both sides more and more and makes dating harder and we get older.

  • Personally, It's my nature. I've always been like that, don't ask why or try to change it.
    I don't know about other girls, though.

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  • Wow, what a generalization!

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  • Because there are too many options!

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    • Must be nice. Pretty shitty to do this to someone though in my opinion.

What Guys Said 2

  • She's afraid of 'making a wrong decision.' I know as a guy who is very indecisive, kinda raised into an environment where I'm pressured to make decisions and being punished harshly for doing wrong while knowing no better.

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    • That's an understandable observation. I've always been someone who knows exactly what I want when I want it so I have a hard time understanding people that can't make up their mind to save their life.

  • Cause men can be too, especially the ones she wants.

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