Is it even a good idea to say you're a virgin early on a date?

Not in a relationship yet but eventually will be after finishing HS next year. However, I'm leery of sharing this information to any guy I'll be going out on a date. The last thing I need is another creep that only values me for being a virgin and would treat other women differently instead of like a human. I'm not a gem nor some diamond to be obtained. I'm a human. Someone already tried and he looked so polite at first. Luckily I have both female and guy friends. I found out what he was early after a couple dates. He wasn't polite because that's his overall personality but only because of my status while not being the treating other girls the same.

I don't want to be overly wined nor courted just because of my virgin status while that guy would be the very same player using and talking bad about girls that have a past or he considers ''easy''. I think a real man doesn't talk smack about others (esp if he enjoyed sex with that woman) for bragging purpose nor uses others for commodities''.

Updates:
I'm kind of distrustful of the experienced guys because it's like they tend to be hypocrites and closed-minded when it comes to a girl's sexuality.
I'm still disgusted that I even wasted my time with that one creep. I wanted to see if he was for real and open-minded (I wasn't exactly too convinced) and yes, my suspicions were right. He was a fake.
So nope, a guy overly praising me for my virginity wouldn't be compliment to me. I would be creeped out.

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Most Helpful Guy

  • U don't need to tell him this u only tell him when u trust him and know he's not just looking for sex. When the moment arrives with the first guy u want to sleep with then you tell him. He'll be overjoyed that you have saved yourself and he will have even more respect for u.

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    • Sure as long as he's not exaggerating by praising me too much for it nor having a fetish for it. Still don't get why should I deserve more respect than a girl that's not a virgin or someone with a past but want a relationship too at some point just for the state of not having sex yet?
      I would like to be respected because of my personality and just I treat others good, the way I would like to be treated.

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    • I don't want to wait till marriage. I don't even want marriage nor not religious either. I'm just interested in a committed relationship after finishing HS.

    • I didn't say wait til your married to have sex I meant wait til. your married to him or been together for years, if u don't want marriage, before u tell him you were a virgin when u met.

What Guys Said 4

  • Virgins are a pain in the ass... But I'll deal with it if I really like you. (I think only virgin guys or inexperienced ones like virgin women...)

    However you better tell me because there is no way I won't figure it out during sex. So I'd rather feel like you wanted to be honest about it.

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    • oh I just realised you're underage... lol.

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    • What is your plan exactly? Hide it then?

    • to only say it when I feel it's the right time and trust have been established

  • I rove virgin cuties with passion 💘

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    • this is exactly what I don't want, that would creep me out

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    • I would want to wait for a relationship. I don't care too much about marriage at this point.

    • and I'm not even religious either

  • that's information that you never need to bring up. it should be brought up if he asks or if he tries anything, otherwise there's no need. just dont lie about it

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    • If he asked early and I don't feel like sharing that information because I feel it's too early and don't trust him yet, what would be the best reply?

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    • yes, he wouldn't be someone I want to associate. That really depends from who is it coming from. Most of the times, with guys they tend to have a different tone, with different intentions.

      While in my case, it would be because that guy doesn't share my similar values and would want someone with a similar sexual past to mine who values relationships, I've noticed several guys tend to go with the double standard mentality... even the experienced ones. That's just messed up.

      If it's coming from someone like my older male cousin who was a virgin and wanted a girl with similar values, that's a difference.

    • Honestly, you should just be honest with him right now. If he treats you differently because of it now, he's going to treat you differently because of it later too. Unless you plan to just flat out lie to him, he's going to find out eventually.

  • If you say no they will think you're experienced. If you say yes they will want to take it from you. Just don't say anything at all

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    • Basically it's a no win situation.

What Girls Said 1

  • Well, I didn't say anything about it to any of the guys I dated. The only time I ever mentioned it to anyone was when I was about to have sex for the first time.

    If you feel like it's necessary for someone to know something like that, that's when you tell them and no sooner if you can help it.

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    • Thanks. Yeah I would have to trust him in order for me to again share that information. I will never again say it early on a date.

    • Yup, I've seen guys go from zero to full-throttle creepy in seconds after finding out a girl is a virgin.

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