Plus sized women should stop shaming men for not wanting fat women?

I keep seeing these video about plus sized women shaming men that don't want to date them because they are fat. I just told a woman that yesterday, that I didn't want to date her because she was SO DAMN FAT. It is no different than a woman not wanting to date a short guy, who is fat.


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Most Helpful Girl

  • You can date who you want , thats your choices. But the reasons shouldn't be just because she's fat or short or whatever. You got to imagine yourself like you were the other person and how it would affect if it was told to u. Think about your most insecurity that thing that you really hate about it that you are really ashamed now imagine the girl you like the most telling that she couldn't date bc of that. Thats so fucked it. Remember the looks will never make you happy. You can marry a skinny girl and in a few years she can became a fat woman, But if you love it will change something?

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    • well it is no different than you not wanting to date a shorter man

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    • and that was an accidental double tag, whoops!

    • You're contradicting yourself. If you're free to date who you want, then you should be able to have whatever reasons you want. If you don't like someone because they're short, that's your choice. You're choosing to date someone who's not short which is their choice.
      If your point was that looks aren't everything, then, I'd agree with you. However, people should be able to date someone for whatever reason they want without being shamed for it.

What Girls Said 11

  • Yes, I agree completely. A woman shouldn't make a man feel bad because she is not his type, at all! That's just messed up. But, if the man is respectful and says something like, "you're really not my type." Or "I'm just not in to you." Then she has absolutely zero reason to be mean to him. But, if he is like "listen, Jabba da hut, back the fuck off before you crush me." That might hurt her feelings a bit. Lol. Hope this makes sense.

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    • "listen, Jabba da hut, back the fuck off before you crush me"

      LOL, that just made my day

    • Lmao jabba da hut. Voting you up. Mh for funny girl

  • Yes I agree. I also think they should stop shaming skinny girls and saying they're not real.

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    • i dont want to eat unhealthily and die of heart disease so it annoys me too

    • Just because you are skinny does not mean you are healthy on the inside. Unless you have perfect genetic heritage, and even then, shit can happen.

    • it doesn't matter! The point is no one has the right to pass judgement on someone else's body.

  • Yeah I understand what you're saying. People are always going to have preferences one way or another and it's no different than any other preference out there. I wouldn't want to date a overweight person either.

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  • 1) Not all of them do. Some do, some don't.

    2) Some of them are ridiculed by some men in a very rude manner. I don't mind them shaming that men. If some are demeaning ALL men for not wanting them when attraction is subjective--and there is a hefty BBW population among men--then they are irrational.

    3) You came off as rude. I wouldn't have told her she was so fat. I would have said that I wasn't attracted to her. I believe in Karma and it may come back to get you in the manner that some woman that you like might not like you because of your small dick or how ugly you are in her eyes.

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  • They shouldn't shame you but you also shouldn't call women fat. You have no idea how much it hurts to hear those words aloud.

    I may not like to date short guys but I would never let them know that is why we aren't going to work out. People just have preferences.

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  • No matter your feelings on the subject you should still be more considerate of the other persons feelings. Just lie and say you have a girlfriend already. No need to say I don't wanna go out because you're a whale. Have a heart. They went out of their way to ask you out and you're gonna be a dick? It's just evil. Politely tell them you're flattered but you're seeing someone. They might be bigger but they are still a person.

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  • only fat people have a problem with this... i hate the whole 'who wants a skinny girl' thing when really they are just annoyed they can't stop eating long enough to lose a few pounds...

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  • I dont think we should shame anyone for their appearance, that being said, i can understand why someone might not want to date someone because of their physical attributes or personality. But i dont think you should say to someone i dont want to date you because you are fat, that rude and mean whether its true or not

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    • it is no different than you saying you won't date a man because he is short

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    • I dont think you understand what im trying to say. Im not going to be a bitch. Guys get pissed off if you're a bitch. Guys get pissed off if you try to be nice. Guys get pissed off if you try to be friends. I dont see how trying to be friends with him would keep him from moving on. If i say i want to be friends i mean it. Some guys think i want to be friends means "you can get in my pants you just have to try really hard". No. It means i like you as a person but not as a partner so go talk to some girls and try dating. I dont see this "friendzoned" bullshit. If i say i want to be friends back the fuck off my vagina, i dont want you as a relationship, as a friend, but that doesn't make me a bitch

    • Like why would you think if i said i want to be friends that you can't move on? That doesn't make any sense whatsoever.

  • Everyone complains doesn't matter their size, no one is happy and I stopped caring

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  • I don't think anyone should be shamed. I'm a little on the chubby side and I'm into skinny guys. I'll respect their preferences if I'm not skinny enough for them.
    You pretty much shamed her as well though. There are plenty of other ways you could have gone about that.

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  • Everyone has the right to or not to date certain types of people. We should stop all the shaming things (including the slut shaming especially).

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    • I would stop slut shaming if woman stopped looking negatively on me for sleeping with so many women. I think it is because society teaches women to be in relationships and when a man doesn't show any promise of that happening he is looked negatively on by them, not by other men though.

What Guys Said 18

  • "Watch REAL Women Try on Swimsuits!" I despise titles that read like this. The whole body positive movement turned into sensationalizing the concept of being unhealthily obese. The entire idea was to encourage plus sized yet still healthy men and women to be comfortable in their own skin. I've never been a shallow person but I just could not accept someone being morbidly obese and refuse to be shamed for wanting a healthy partner. I do races every year, I cycle, I travel often, go spelunking and hiking I love sports and just generally lead an active lifestyle. Someone that is overweight to the point of being in the danger zone would be unable to do the things I love and that is where I draw the line with being "body positive."

    Instead we should bring the movement back to its original intent of promoting HEALTHY lifestyles and equality within that range of healthy living. That all said, I really don't care what people do with their own time, I just completely freaking agree @alonzoslade that men should not be ridiculed for wanting a healthy/shapely woman. We like what we like and that's that. This does not make me a sexist, a misogynistic cisgender pig or whatever the hell we are being called this week.

    Amen, preach... Thanks for saying this.

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  • they do it because it's easier to bitch and moan about society being shit and men being shallow assholes for not liking them, than it is to get the hell out of their comfy cheese-doodles covered chairs and get some fucking excercise to get a healthy body.

    That's whythey do it. Ignore them, and let them die alone. Half of them won't reach the age of 45, that's the truth.

    Your health is a choice! You decide how many calories you eat every day. There's nobody to blame but yourself.

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  • It's not like I have a thing against women on the heavier side, but it is natural to be initially attracted to people who you think look good. Sure, in the long run personality makes or breaks a relationship. But, to get into a relationship, looks play at least some part. Otherwise they're probably going to get sent to the friendzone.

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  • The epidemic of gay males is caused by the gravitational distortions of the magnetic fields caused by all the plus sized women.

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  • Being hateful is unacceptable, but political correctness is just people whining that their feelings should be coddled. It is what it is, and to expect people to ignore that fact is to expect a delusion.

    If my arm is in a cast, I would expect the possibility that someone would ask what I did to it, I wouldn't expect them to ignore it and pretend my arm is fine, that's insane.

    I spent a good part of my teen years overweight, but I was well aware of it, so if it came up in conversation why would I be bothered.

    I remember a girl I knew said to me annoyed, your boobs are bigger than mine, I laughed because she was right, there wasn't anything to be bothered about. I also laughed because I made a girl jealous of my man boobs. XD

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  • It takes two people for one to be shamed by another. Should anyone stop shaming someone for something and should the other feel ashamed is the question I'm looking at. Right now I'm thinking, although guilt and shame makes sense directly, it doesn't always make sense indirectly. I shame you or guilt trip you to demand change and adjustment, but depending on the culture, we might turn hostile and less likely to change. There might still be merit to why a change would necessitate, but shaming or guilt tripping someone wouldn't always be the way to go.

    Most of us including me are not very prone to taking the first step for positive change. Either people could stop shaming others or we could all just learn to tolerate the shaming and not be ashamed. Maybe if some people stopped shaming others and at the same time become more tolerating, that just feels more reasonable to actually instigate a change rather than one side working for the betterment of both?

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  • They won't stop doing it, really.

    Think about it: it's always easier to blame someone else for one's problem (while being short is basically impossible to fix, it's always possible to lose weight) and so far that's the only thing those women are good at.

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  • Height is genetic; there is little anyone can do to change it. Weight, on the other hand, can be strongly influenced by diet and physical activity. There's nothing wrong with preferences for either category, but that's just the truth of the situation.

    You can't shame someone into being attracted to somebody they aren't attracted to.

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    • That said, there's no need to be a dick in the way someone turns them down either.

  • They need to stop shaming us for not liking slutty women too. Or women with neon hair and nails in their face or women with tramp stamps. It seems every time I turn down a woman or tell her she's not attractive to me they get all angry and bitter and start implying something is wrong with ME for not liking them.

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  • I dont fat shame but they're welcome to dislike me for my preference for non fat ladies.

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  • This is why I don't have a preference in terms of looks. I used to think that big women were disgusting (when I was a teenager), but I realized that they're actually pretty cool to be around if you give them a chance. They got problems just like everyone else.

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  • If you let "shaming" decide you will date someone you don't want to, you really aren't old or mature enough to be dating in the first place.

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  • I dont think guys care, they can yell at us all they want for not wanting fat chicks but in the end, that won't make us want to date you.

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  • politically correct society.

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  • it's called ''being lazy''...

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  • Hypocrisy at its best

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  • Everyone has his type, you're free to decide however you want.

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  • yep. if they didn't want to be fat they should stop eating those crisps! and get their big asses to the gym

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