Guys, How do you feel and what goes through your mind right before/ after a first kiss?

I just went on a fifth date at the movies with a guy I've been dating for about three weeks now (he's 25 and I'm 22). We went to see an awful horror movie, then had some dinner. When we went out to our cars, he shyly motioned for a hug and I held him tight, and when I started to pull away he started to lean in a few times but kept hesitating.. and he looked a bit confused (I was also a bit perplexed at this point) and nervous, and he looked away and said "yeah, I was going to ah.. kiss you" and he sort of just stood there nervously. So without thinking, I stepped up and kissed him- held for like 5-6 seconds, pulled away to gauge his reaction, and leaned in to kiss again before pulling away again. After I pulled back that last time, he let out a breathless"Wow.. that was awesome" and smiled coyly at me. Honestly, I didn't expect him to try for it since he doesn't like PDA (our first hug was in a mall parking lot on our third date- I initiated and he seemed uncomfortable) and I was even starting to doubt that he liked me. But yeah, I've only ever kissed one other guy before and don't have really much experience.. but I guess I did something right. It's funny, because actually kissing him came so naturally and I wasn't even the slightest bit nervous about it when the time finally came to do it.

But yeah- what goes through your mind and how do you feel? How long do you guys usually wait to go for a kiss, and how do you go about it? Do you bring it up beforehand or just go for it? And if you do wait to kiss someone, what would your reason be?


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Most Helpful Guy

  • If it's the right kiss, what he said is something I think... Wow. I'm usually pretty excited and calm at the same time because the first kiss is over with and I don't have to worry about it anymore. I also like the moment after the first kiss, your eyes meet and either the date ends or you go again but with more passion. Happened to me recently, it felt pretty great. :-)

    I usually try to get the first kiss on a first date. If not, then the second date. I usually pull her into me, letting her know by that motion that I want her. I don't bring it up beforehand because it loses its moment... I think anyway... That first kiss is something she'll remember for quite some time. No pressure, right? ha ha! If I wait for that first kiss, it's because I was too nervous and/or need a second date to feel her out.

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    • Yeah.. it was sort of my fault that he had to say it. I was diagnosed with Asperger's when I was a teen, so that tied with my lack of dating experience means I have trouble picking up on stuff that most people would view as blatantly obvious when it comes to cues... so he kept hesitating because I kept trying to break the hug (neither of us really actually touched one another on our dates beforehand, so I wasn't prepared for it), but once he told me I had that "Oh!" moment and went in for it. In my defense, though, he had said on our third date that he didn't like PDA.. but when he tried to initiate, we were standing next to our cars out in the open, in a parking lot outside of a Mexican restaurant.. next to a busy street with a creepy old guy watching (I noticed him afterwards.. lol).

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    • Nice :) And yeah, I mean I actually prefer the type since I'm the same way.. nervous and shy. But, I don't know what to think about this since he's going away to Europe for school in the fall (he's working towards his Ph. D.). I don't know how to determine whether this is just a fling or a budding relationship. I mean, we started out talking online when he was home and I was away at college back in February, so we had been chatting together for about four or so months before we actually met 3 weeks ago.

    • Don't worry about that. If there's something I wish I had done in my past was act on something I wanted. There are a couple women I've bumped into where I live that I wished I had asked out and always wondered "what if?" I still think about that sometimes. Enjoy your time together. I'm trying to make up for my mistakes now by taking more risks. Sometimes it pays off, sometimes it doesn't. I don't wonder what if anymore.
      :-)

What Guys Said 4

  • There's usually a moment I look for, it's when a woman is really looking at you that I've gone in. Sometimes it's been the woman who was the first one to initiate and I would always reciprocate. There's no real time frame I ever put on it though because if I'm not feeling anything, I'm not just going to go in for a kiss either but I do always let it happen if done to me. But it's definitely nerve wracking if you do it early because you're effectively making out with a stranger you know little about. Maybe other guys operate differently but I like to be affectionate with girls who I'd consider friends so at least a few dates seems acceptable but I know some women want to kiss way faster.

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    • Yeah, I mean I'm curious because I'm trying to figure out where his mind is at and whether or not he views this as a short term summer fling (he's going off to Europe for school in the fall) or a potential relationship. I'm really into this guy, but I don't do relationships that have set expiration dates, and I don't know how to tell where this is heading.

    • Yea I would still go for it, even if its 2 months until he leaves, maybe something will change. He's probably nervous from the way you describe it but that was me as well when I was much younger.

  • I get hornet then I feel happy

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    • You get hornet?

      I think they have a surgery for that.

    • Omg Lmao I said hornet! xD I meant horney haha yeah but I feel happy when I kiss a girl my lips hurt once its over 3.:

  • I wonder if I can get laid tonight

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  • Before the first kiss I get nervous and my brain is over thinking. After, I lose it and party like a rock star lol. Answer mine on my profile please!

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