Dating a guy exclusively for 6 months... I told him I'm crazy about you and now he is silent.. is this his way of breaking up or just taking time?

Hi Guys,

I've been seeing a guy for 6 months now, he asked to be exclusive 3 months in by saying "Don't date other guys" and told me he wants to me married and have 2 kids and wanted to make sure we are on the same page with what we want.

He is a great guy, prefers to text, and shy in the beginning-didn't make a move on me for 5 dates, he had a horrible divorce a year ago and has primary custody of his daughter. His schedule with work can be demanding and the 4 days off he has, he spends with his daughter so we only see each other once a week. I believe that I'm his first relationship since the divorce. He told me being with me is like a "Vacation from his life". Around 5 months I met his parents and daughter at a BBQ.

Now 6 months in, I decided to show up at his house, bring him breakfast, and tell him "I'm crazy about you and asked to know how he feels... I told him I think sometimes he is weird with affection (not affectionate sometimes and in public very affectionate).
Anyway, after I told him "I'm crazy about you and I need to know how you feel" he kind of asked "is this the where are things going talk?" I said no that before I can think about the future I need to see how you are when you are drunk and how you are in an argument. He made a comment that he only gets drunk 3 times a year and would never hit me. I said I know that but it's still important to see that side of someone. At the same time, I also asked him if he trusts me...(he sends me extra sweet texts when I'm on business trips - I work in a male dominated field).

I asked if he needed several days to give me an answer and he said he could give me an answer that night. No response for 7 days now. (He has told me in the past, that when he has a personal issue, he shuts down and isn't good at communicating).

Is this him figuring out his feelings or is he silently breaking up with me? if it's a break-up why can't he be direct like when he asked to be exclusive?


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Most Helpful Guy

  • Sounds like you spooked him. In a "she wants to move faster and I'm not comfortable with that" kind of way.

    You need to apologise for putting him on the spot and figure out how to get him comfortable again, and not worried that you're unsatisfied with your relationship.

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    • Thanks! Do you think it might have been showing up at his house unannounced to talk with him? It has now been 9 days and I have sent only 2 text messages since our talk... One was clarifying what I meant and telling him the ways he makes me happy...(no reponse to this one). Then 5 days after sending him a casual "how was your holiday?" (no response on this one now for 2 days). Is his silence a breakup? Should I be moving on? or does he just need space to think?
      I'm not going to contact him again since I've gotten no response... but it makes me sad. Already there are other guys chasing me but I am crazy about this one.

    • Well you really jumped outside his comfort zone. Good chance he thinks you were telling him that he want giving you what you wanted and needs to hurry up.

      The silence is hard. Its either a silent break up, or he needs to heat he's good enough moving at his pace with things.

      If you aren't going to contact him again consider yourself single. You can bring me breakfast if you want ;)

      If you are going to contact him. Lead with something like "sorry to put you on the spot, I wanted to do something sweet but I see now I was out of line".

What Guys Said 1

  • You opened up, but you got minimal back... hmmm. (usually not good).
    Don't know the details, but probably he got hurt, and hard to bounce back, but it's been a year. Perhaps he has not moved on fully yet. If he is a good and decent guy and into you, then be there for him. Possibly he wants to build trust with you.
    Then there's also chemistry, friendship, possible leftover baggage etc...

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What Girls Said 1

  • he's breaking up/

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