Why is it so hard to find a good confident man?

why is it so hard to find a confident guy? like i always attract the insecure/immature guys, like is it really that hard to find a confident guy? & why do i always attract insecure guys in relationships?


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Most Helpful Guy

  • Find yourself an older guy they are usually more confident and secure...

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What Guys Said 15

  • you: 'I need a confident man who isn't afraid to approach me'
    you: sits there and does nothing

    Do you see why this is so ironic?
    If you are so tough and confident then get off your high horse and find a guy you like and stop whining to us about how insecure men are. When you are the one doing the asking you will find out that it's not so easy.

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    • Also, if you aren't tough and confident than stop whining about other people not having a personality strength that you also lack.

  • Why is it difficult to find a real lady? No one knows, it's just how society is right now, gotta adapt to it, or just keep looking for the few that are out there.
    But you're 17, men get more confident with age, you'll see a big change in college.

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  • because female behavior leads to insecure guys, immaturity is a guys problem though... i guess you´ll just have to wait for that.

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    • what do u mean by female behavior, could u pls explain kindly

    • guys are allways supposed to do the first step and they get rejected all the time (most times not in a nice way). how is that supposed to make a guy confident?

  • You know, a lot of those insecure/immature guys would probably become more confident if a girl showed she liked them and the only way they'll mature is through relationships. So you're really just part of the problem, sweety. Stop expecting us guys to be perfect when I doubt you can even cook or clean yourself.

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  • Well you obviously have some attraction too those types of guys, otherwise you'd stay away from them. Have you been hurt in the past? These insecure guys pry on your emotions, make you think everything will be fine, until they take advantage of your insecurity and make you feel like you're always at fault. My advice, stay off the social media, Plenty of fish, match. com, e harmony, those are usually creeps and guys who are looking for a one-time thing. Try going too a library, avoid bars.

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  • Because you're too picky, or maybe you're not as great as you think. Perhaps if you stopped being such an entitled princess...

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  • I don't think it's that difficult, maybe just look harder. Confident people stand out quite easily!
    Maybe you have to widen your searches, look at guys you don't usually look at.

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  • Because of the age bracket you're in.

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  • Normally nice guys don't come up to ask directly.
    Secondly girls normally go out with guys who are players. I always wonder why lol

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  • Try dating older men

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  • I think it's just society in general. It's just whats out there, both men and women. Most people are insecure.

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  • Looks are given but being confidence is difficult

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  • Feminism has pussified men.

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  • Because you're going looking for it. Stop trying so hard

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  • I'm sorry but I am sick of hearing this stuff.

    How on earth can you judge if someone is confident or not? You mean confident enough to approach you? You have to be open for it, inviting for it.

    Maybe they just don't feel like it, because to me you come off as a bit stuck up.

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    • Im not stuck up so smd

    • Show All
    • Way to prove him right, OP

    • You just labeled an entire group as being unconfident and when one of them speaks up to you against it (because he is confident?) you tell him to go away? That's kinda ironic.

      And yes I am sick of women judging men as being unconfident whilst they sit there and do nothing themselves. It's called hypocrisy.

What Girls Said 6

  • We live in a really sad, risky, chaotic world and a lot of people's confidence gets chipped and eroded during the journey. Instead of humbly recognizing the details of that and fixing it, a lot of people will just ignore it or wallow in it sometimes even for years.

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  • This sentence right here, you said:
    "like i always attract the insecure/immature guys"

    If you look at people in relationships and see which type is commonly with which type, you'll see there is a pattern. In highschool, the football star quarterback is likely going to date the captain of the cheerleading squad. Why is that? It comes down to the attraction of types. Types find each other. You wouldn't be able to date a movie star, because they're busy dating movie stars themselves. Professionals usually attract other professionals. Financial brackets usually cross over between careers, but find a common ground with money making their lives comfortable because they are more alike.

    In your case, you have to ask yourself why you are first of all attracting guys like this, and are you actually getting involved with them. Are you doing something to harbour their neediness toward you, such as lending an ear to let them talk about their problems as a good friend? Or are you a giver and tend not to accept anything back? Do you play the saviour? Recognize the magnet you are putting out when it comes to everything, including your look/style and you might find that if you change some things, you'll change the guys you attract.

    But don't assume you'll find Mr. Perfect-Confident Guy, because every single one of us possesses some insecurities, even though we might not show it, or don't have it to the degree as others do. So when you find him and he eventually shows a little-boy side to him, it's normal because all of us, girls and guys, all have our moments of weakness and show a side to our closest loved ones that we still have vulnerabilities. :) Good luck, I'm sure he's out there wondering where you are right now too.

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  • I think plenty of them are out there, but of course you're looking for "attractive" guys too, right? I have to add this because I get what you're saying, but many people won't understand that you mean "attractive" as well (possibly).

    Those guys may be insecure though because they think you're really hot and don't know how to talk to you/are intimidated. So it's natural for some of them to be timid.

    I understand that you want an Alpha Male (what I consider an alpha male which would be a guy who is confident of himself and doesn't let anyone bring him down, isn't arrogant, is mature, and rational). Tough find these days (unless if they aren't attractive).

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  • If you want a confident guy you have to be confident enough yourself to approach him and talk

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  • Are you confident and not insecure?

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  • I know right! Same here.

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