How do I stop hitting my boyfriend?

It all started when I found out he talked to this one girl about a year ago. They were a bit flirty with their conversation. I remembered throwing all his pillows to the floor and mashed all his cups in his bedroom when I found out. Turn out I forgave him. Even since then, whenever he said something I don't like, I slap him really hard. Whenever I'm mad for no reason, I'd kick him and punch him and squeeze him very hard. I'd choke him if he's late. Sometimes I choke him to the point he cries but he still loves me. I know I sound horrible like I'm abusing my boyfriend but how do I stop now? I do it so much it's like a natural reaction to me... Sometimes he cries that's when I feel my heart aching and I know I shouldn't be hitting him like that.


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Most Helpful Guy

  • Do understand that if this was done the other way around the guy would go to jail. So you need to put a stop this immediately. Secondly it looks like jealousy (and maybe trust issues) is making you do this.

    I have been in a similar situation. She was sicking jealous. And it just got worse and worse. A punch of her crushed my eye and it took over two years for it to fully heal. It is safe to say that we are no longer together.

    Don't do this this to him and yourself. You did the first step by admitting there is something wrong here. I respect that. Find some professional help and take it from there before it gets any worse.

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    • I wasn't this way before until I found out he cheats... I don't know why but I feel like I have to doubt everything he says or else he's easily lie to me again. That's why I punch him when he said "Seriously, I didn't talk to any girl lately"...

    • Let me say that I am strongly against cheating. But at first you said he was flirty with a girl. So i doubt what you are saying because if he cheated you would have said it from the start.

      But if he cheated or not the story isn't any is different. No court will say "Oh he cheated. Well, then it's really his fault so we won't punish you".
      Don't hide behind this. You did fine by admitting you were wrong. But by hiding behind the cheating part you will just find a way to make it okay in head and continue doing this. Maybe you'll get a new boyfriend in the future and you will punch him because he looked in the direction of a girl. And you will then tell yourself "He shouldn't have made me doubt him". Like i said before. These things get worse and worse.

What Guys Said 8

  • Violence is a strong indicator of stupidity, lack of self-control, and your inability to express yourself. Next time you feel the urge to get violent, remember that you are being stupid and that you have no communication skills whatsoever. If having those qualities isn't important to you, I say start looking for good spots to hide his body for when you kill him.

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    • I wasn't like that before until he talked to that girl!!!

    • Honey, please don't justify it. Your behavior is toxic, end of story. Now, that doesn't necessarily make you a bad person. It just means that it is time to fix this. Apologize, take a walk when you feel angry or irritated, and promise yourself you'd never resort to violence. A relationship is meant to provide a healthy environment for all parties involved, where they feel safe and are able to express themselves openly and freely. If you cannot stand him anymore, just leave him, y'know? like regular people do.

      Lighten up and help spread the love. Good luck to you. : )

  • Firstly, you need to break up with him. You are not fit to be in a relationship, and you are ruining his life.

    Secondly, you need to stop making excuses for yourself. There is no justification for violence. You are not the victim here. So, you need to stop feeling sorry for yourself.

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  • By dumping him and getting as far away from him as fucking possible. You are nothing but a toxin for him. If you have any good left in you, you'd spare him the misery of being with you any longer.

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    • And people say that men can't get abused by women. Fucking disgusting.

    • He choose to stay. He loves me. And he cheated on me before he deserves this!

  • You're a psycho...

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    • Dude he cheated on me he deserves this in a way..

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    • Haha if he really doesn't love me he can beat me up in a beat he just doesn't want to which means he knows he deserves this.

    • It means he doesn't want to go to jail when your psychotic ass turns around and calls 9-1-1.

  • When he "does something bad" just try your hardest to stop yourself from hitting him, if you can't then I don't know what you can do.

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  • seriously... you need professional help. this is disgusting the way you go on, I've been in a relationship where I was hit by my girlfriend. its not on.
    you can make all the excuses you want for yourself but it will not excuse the violence you are showing.
    dump him... for his sake!!

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  • You should tell someone who cares enough to call the police on you. You should be put in jail for that and if he had any common sense he'd knock your head off.

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    • Lolololol he loves me.

  • I don't know but, you're going to wind up like Hope Solo if you don't

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What Girls Said 3

  • Might I suggest you immediately enrol on an anger management course.. It might just save you from inflicting a very serious injury to your boyfriend.

    In all honesty it truly beats me why he is still with you.. He really must be one hell of a guy to put up with all your abuse.

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    • I do not think he will be seriously injured. He can beat me up in a heartbeat if he really want to.

  • You need to not be in a relationship until you can control your anger and stop abusing people. Go seek help for your anger issues, if you don't - one day you may become a mother and I fear for those children.

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  • The way to stop hitting him is to break up with him. What you're doing is illegal, and you could be arrested and prosecuted for it. You should've dumped him when he was talking to the other girl if it bothered you so much.

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    • I don't know why it's illegal if he might not necessarily hates my actions and behaviors. If he feels offended and feels like he deserves better, he would beat me up in a heartbeat already.

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