I have a boyfriend, but have fantasy's about other men, why?

I have been with my boyfriend for a couple years now and things have never been perfect, but I do love him with all of my heart. He cooks me dinner and is so nice to me, but other times he is so snappy and inconsiderate of my feelings. Recently I started a new job and I swear every coworker is so attractive to me... I don't know if there is something wrong with me, but my mind is everywhere... I blame being a gemini. Recently a coworker added me on facebook and he messaged me one morning and we talked for a little bit about silly things, but it made me so happy and get butterflies more then my boyfriend is giving me. We even had sex the other night and i was thinking about my coworker... i know that is so wrong but I just can't stand how my boyfriend never wants to go out and do anything and never calls me, he is always busy doing things or just doesn;t treat me good enough... its either he does or doesn't never in the middle... I really don't know what to do, and it makes me depressed becasue its not that i necessarily want to date the coworker... but my boyfriend either.. its like i attach myself to my boyfriend for the commitment and comfort, but he drives me crazy and its like love/hate... ? Has anyone ever felt like this and is it normal to have fantatsys about other men while in a long relationship?

Updates:
Guess what guys, I dumped him for that "fantasy man" hehe ;) happier than ever!!

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Most Helpful Guy

  • We all look at other people and maybe fantasize about them but never act on it. If u get to a point where u do want to act on it then end the relationship first.

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    • its so strange.. I can be madly in love with my boyfriend one day, and then the next everything is horrible. I would never cheat, but I feel like my mind is. It's a fucked up cycle. Maybe im bipolar?

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    • i dumped him for the guy i had a fantasy about ;) and im loving it LOL

    • Glad you dumped him first, more people should do that rather than cheat and hurt people more. Good luck with him x

What Guys Said 4

  • Relationship seems fucked and over with. You're thinking about your coworker as you're having sex with your boyfriend. Having fantasies is one thing, thinking about someone else during sex is a sign there is something seriously wrong.

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  • Well, first off... Don't date your co-worker. Ever. The workplace drama is never worth it.

    Now, the thing about us guys is, we aren't going to change. So if he's always been like that, he will continue to be like that. So don't wait for him to act differently.

    Frankly, if you don't want to be with him anymore, you shouldn't. You're doing both of you a disservice by being in a "fake relationship" if you don't want him anymore.

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  • He most definetly wants to fuck other girls it's normal excersise some self control will u.

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  • Make a pros and cons list about staying with him. Then do another one in a couple months to see if stuff is going downhill. If everything is great and you're just thinking of others to get off while sleeping with your main, I think that's normal. But if you're not attracted to your main anymore and are just staying with them because you're too scared to be alone, that is something else entirely. It's 2015. The days of being obligated to stay with one person past the point of misery are long gone.

    If I'm enjoying myself, I'm there. If I'm not, I'm out.

    It is harder for a dude because we have to earn a mate. Women can just walk down the road and get 10 new numbers, so why you'd stay if bored, I have no clue.

    You could always cheat and hedge your bet. If you're going to bounce and he likes you it's going to hurt either way and is the safest play for you. And you might find out your desires are purely sexual, and with them fed your relationship is actually better. I think these days women are so complex they are actually the ones who need multiple lovers now. Men have become the women of old in a lot of ways.

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    • It's so strange but I have moments where i'm literally crying about my boyfriend.. and other times I don't like him at all and could care less about what he does. He says one thing and does another... drives me insane. I think your right when you say what I want might be purely sexual... the thing is, is i'm more about mental... and he doesn't give that to me. I must just be in a shit realtionship... i'm at the point of stopping the misery... tommorow we hangout and if it doesn't go well im done..

    • In my experience, a woman has to be sprung for a relationship to work. Doesn't sound like you're sprung anymore, which means it is already over. But I don't know the details. Maybe you need him for a place to live, etc. Seems like there has to be something more to the story for you to be even caring this much. The great majority of women I've known are ruthless on the subject of love as to their actions, regardless of what comes out their mouths. Maybe you were just raised by really good people. I think that still happens. Haha. You'll be alright either way. Got a long life ahead of you. Still have plenty of time before you should consider settling.

What Girls Said 3

  • Your mind has a mind of its own, so to speak! Many people fantasize about others but won't admit it. It happens at times. It seems you miss the excitement you had with your SO and you want to recreate that with your coworker. Talk to your man.. Cook for him... get an intimate, romantic scene going and talk to him... let him know you love h but you need to do things together that are exciting. ... Communicate. ... with a loving attitude. He'll come around!

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  • Having fantasies like that is normal as long as you don't act on them.

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  • Bored probably?

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