Is my boyfriend wrong for going out instead of seeing me?

I met my boyfriend in college and we've been together for 9 months. Really love each other but both pretty independent. We saw each other once a week in college and now in summer too since he works and we live 30 mins away.

I've just been on holidays for 2 weeks and have been asking him when does he think he'll be off work. I really missed him. He just told me he's off tomorrow when I arrive home but he's going out with his friends.

I'm annoyed because he won't have another day off for a week and I might be starting a job soon so I don't know when we'll both have a day off together again. Am I right to be annoyed that he's going out tomorrow instead of seeing me? And should I say something or just leave it?


0|0
1|5

Most Helpful Guy

  • After just reading the headline question I was prepared to come in here and talk about him not owing you anything and people being independent and blah blah blah, but after actually reading the information you presented I actually do think he is in the wrong in this situation. That's a pretty specific set of events, and you've been together long enough that he should know you would have some sort of expectation of seeing him. At the very least, if he is going out with friends he should be taking his girlfriend of 9 months along with him on her first day back from holidays. That's really shitty of him, and would be incredibly disappointing for you.

    In most cases I would say no, but in this one, I have to say yes, you are right to be annoyed that he's going out instead of seeing you. And yes, you should say something. That is borderline deal-breaking behaviour, and he should know that.

    0|0
    0|0

What Guys Said 4

  • It's understandable to be upset but I don't think he did anything seriously wrong. It's hard but he shouldn't just abandon his friends who he might have known his whole life for another person. I'm not saying he should choose them over you I'm just saying that it's not an easy call. But by the looks of the other opinions I guess I'm in the minority here.

    0|1
    0|0
  • Yes he needs to man up and find time for you , girls like guys who take interest in them
    yes he is wrong instead of going out with friends that time should be spent with you.

    0|0
    0|0
  • Ask yourself, did he make these plans to go out before you talked to him?

    I'm not saying you can't expect him to break off his plans with his boys because you want to see him. But a lot of guys will piss you off if you have that expectation.

    0|0
    0|0
  • It is messed up. I guess he just needed space is the best opinion it can give

    0|0
    0|0

What Girls Said 1

  • I'd be annoyed too, although if he made plans with them before he knew when you were coming back you can't really blame him. Then again, if it's been a while since you've seen each other HE should be the one to suggest he cancel with them.

    If the situation were reversed and you were the one going out with your friends, would you cancel your plans with them to see your BF? If yes, gently tell him that you'd prefer he spent that time with you since you might not see each other for a while - just don't get angry or accuse him of anything as that won't help your cause. Ig he's had this night planned for a while and hasn't seen his buds in a long time, try to come to a compromise. Like maybe he could leave them early and come see you, or you could join them later. Good luck :)

    0|0
    0|0
Loading...