Guys, I don't know what his actions mean, help?

Known this guy for about a year, we've talked pretty much everyday since we met.

At the start, we were always talking really dirty to each other and sending pictures etc.
he lives about a 2 hour flight from me so I went to visit him to do some photography as we are both keen photographers and I stayed at his place.
We had sex about twice, but mainly we just hung out like a normal couple; cooked together, cuddled together and watched movies, hugged and kissed. It was great and I fell for him hard!
At the airport he gave me a big hug and kissed me in public.
After this when I got to my home town, we spoke like normal, except now he calls me babe a lot more and leaves "xx" at the end of his messages etc. so we flirt like crazy still.

the thing that has me confused, is that the dirty talk has completely stopped.
I'm in his town again and he's letting me sleep in his bed with him but no cuddling or anything. I even sleep naked!

Can you tell me what the go is? Why he is doing this?


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What Guys Said 2

  • I'm not 100% sure I understand the question. What is he doing that's confusing?

    Are you saying that he's stopped wanting to have sex with you?

    As far as I can tell he's still showing you his interest by having you visit and sleep in his bed. It's possible that he's trying to transition you from hookup girl to girlfriend, and perhaps he'll feel less judgmental about you by slowing things down and romancing you more. I'd have to hear more to be sure.

    My only other comment is this... if you're willing to put this guy IN you... literally... then what's the problem with just talking with him about each other's relationship expectations? Basically, if you're old enough to have sex, then you're old enough to upfront with him about your feelings. And you should! Even if it pushes him away. Because you deserve to build a relationship that meets your expectations.

    :D

    ~ Robby

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    • Thanks for your comment... :)
      Yeah basically what is confusing is, the fact he doesn't want to have sex or cuddle or kiss me anymore (well, I haven't tried moves on him so I'm not 100% sure) but yeah, still invites me over, cooks me dinner and let's me sleep with him in his bed.
      I'm just worried he's putting me in the friend category cause he does have a lot of female friends.

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    • Cause I'm worried it'll scare him off if I start asking him questions like that...

    • You're hoping to be with a guy that get's scared off when you ask him questions about the relationship? Thinly time it should scare a guy off is when you're asking relationships questions (in a desperate and needy way) before you're even have sex. Like the first three to five dates. After sex all questions are reasonable.

      We teach people how to treat us. You're teaching him that you don't have your own expectations and that you don't need him to invest anything in you... and that you're happy to get what ever you get.

      But it's your life and your future... it's better to be upfront and move the relationship towards something healthy that you deserve, instead of hiding behind nervousness while accepting confusion and anxiety.

  • Like, he won't let you touch him?

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    • I haven't tried touching him... Like the odd arm touch and back touch that's about it... I'm worried to go any further with him in case I freak him out

    • You're sleeping naked in his bed. Make a move, worst case scenario you find out he's not interested anymore and you have your answer.

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