I hate myself and Him. It feels like I have dead butterflies in my stomach, what is this feeling called and will I ever feel okay again?

long story short I liked a guy who had a mean girlfriend. I wanted him so bad I let my wants get the best of me. I befriended him lying to myself telling myself that my feelings wouldn't grow, well my feelings grew. he lead me on for 5 months emotional affair, flirting, texting etc but nothing physical. all of a sudden he completely cut me out of his life, his girlfriend told him to never speak to me again and so he listened. And now. Now I feel this, I feel horrible that I intentionally tried to wreck someone else's relationship because I would never want anyone to do that to me, (I definitely learned my lesson ) I feel horrible that I can't have him. I feel horrible that I still want him. I feel horrible that we aren't even friends anymore. and I feel horrible because everything that happened is all my fault. I put myself in that situation. Yes I liked him before I knew he had a girlfriend, but after I found out he had a girlfriend... I still went after him. We have mutual friends so I run into him all the time and when I do an unsettling feeling in my stomach arises. When I speak my voice sh

Updates:
Please. Please. Please. Please, dont judge me. I know what I did was wrong. please help me feel normal again because I look in the mirror and I see Someone. But I see nothing.

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Most Helpful Guy

  • Thats never a good situation. If he cheated on his girlfriend, you should avoid him emotionally. You're still young, and things like that happen.

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What Guys Said 0

The only opinion from guys was selected the Most Helpful Opinion!

What Girls Said 1

  • The dead butterflies is dread mixed with nervousness. Your sickened by what you did to yourself. Nothing can change yhis but time aqay from him to loose those feelings and reflect on what happened.

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