Guys, Is it too forward to ask a guy to coffee?

I met a guy 3 weeks ago and he asked me if I wanted to do coffee but I was so flat out busy that I didn't know when I'd be free
Now that things have slowed down I kind of want to suggest that coffee date. Is that too forward? Will he just assume I'm an easy bet? What are your thoughts?

Updates:
Okay so I asked him and he said he'd love to
We organised for Sunday night but then he said "text me over the weekend so I don't forget"
Um I don't even know what to say back to that. It comes across as sort of rude. Why would you say you might forget?
What do I say?

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16

Most Helpful Guy

  • Nope, not at all. I'd be down for getting asked to get a cup of coffee. I don't understand so many girls think that they shouldn't ever initiate anything. Frankly, I find it kind of upsetting. There have been many times when I didn't really have any way of initiating something, but I wish that they could have, instead, but they never did because they were waiting for the guy to so they didn't seem "easy." I don't get that. Sometimes, I need a girl to make some sort of move. If a girl that was interested in me without me knowing was a girl that I thought would never be interested in me, I wouldn't ever ask. To me, it's just instant, pointless rejection. If made some sort of positive move to me, though, I'd jump on it immediately. Just ask him for a cup of coffee. I feel like you may be over-thinking it.

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What Guys Said 15

  • An easy bet? For suggesting a coffee? Where did you get this idea? You have to understand that guys don't cloud their minds with such petty judgments. the ONLY thing this guy will think about when you'll ask him is will he or will he not have coffee...

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  • Nothing is wrong about asking a guy to a coffee date. I think it would be sincere for a girl to ask me on a coffee date. Don't overanalyze this. It will be very plausible for him to understand that you were just flat out busy.

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  • No that is not to forward that is what I think anyway. 😃

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    • Will he assume I'm too easy though? Or not respect me so won't put in effort for other dates because he thinks I'll do it?

    • Well I wouldn't think that and would put just as much effort in for dates. I would most men would be the same as me.

  • A coffee is about as laid back as it can get!

    As per your update, it sounds like he just wanted an excuse to text you some in between... I would not take it to deeply there.

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  • Just do it!!

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    • It may come across a little rude, but don't read to much into it. Might just be an excuse for you to message him again. You can just play along with it. Make it a joke like if you need to remind him to wake up or brush his teeth as well.

    • I didn't reply to it, I don't want to remind someone to go on a date with me especially when I initiated it. I can see why it would be playful but I don't want to message and say hey remember our date..
      If he forgets then o well his loss :)

    • You misunderstood me. I meant you making fun of the fact you need to remind him at all. Only children need to be reminded and that what you play with.

  • Text messaging is such an emotionless form of communication. You perceive it as rude but maybe He was on the run or just nervous and tried to be witty. Call him. Remind him. Set it up.
    I think it's flattering any time a gal/woman takes initiative. Who doesn't want to feel desired?

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  • Whether or not he thinks you are an easy bet, it would be far better if you ask him to coffee. Guys are usually more straightforward and would easily think you are no longer interested if you keep him waiting. Most young girls' games pisses off guys and that's why some of them prefer older women (because older women means less games, more straightforward in asking what they want, and more mature behavior than being silly)

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  • I think you should ask him because he could have thought you turned his offer down in a nice way thinking he was being rejected. So ask him and get to know him and take things slow

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  • Just ask... You're overthinking this.

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  • It's not too forward, why do girls keep thinking this? It's perfectly okay for a girl to ask a guy out. Guys often like the girl more for it, even.

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  • It's not to forward to ask a guy out. Period. It's 2015. ;)

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  • No its totally fine even if he didn't ask that before.

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    • Do I come across as easy though?

    • i don´t believe in girls being "easy" anyways. if you want sex, then go get sex but if you´re genuinely interested in a guy and show it, that doesn´t make you a slut or something.

  • go ahead ask him out already!!

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  • I'm a guy and when a girl basically ask me I get little cocky and think she is easy.. Best way to get to what you want is by making him want to see you try to keep the convo alive or FaceTime and make sure you look pretty not slutty trust me he would wanna hang with you.. Self confidence is all what it takes best of luck.

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  • If he still finds you attractive from whenever he first asked you, I'd say you are fine lol. Or explain your situation, say you were busy (if you really were truthfully not just shoving him off). Personally, I would find it sexy if a girl asked me out xD but what would i know, i never had a girlfriend before.

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    • by "attractive" i meant interested lol.

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