Anyone else starting to feel jaded when it comes to dating?

I've had such bad dating experiences lately with guys I actually cared for and started to feel jaded so I took a break from dating. But it's been quite a few months and it seems I'm still if not more jaded than before. How do you get out back into the game... I don't feel pressure but I'm so turned off when it comes to meeting and going out on dates but I don't want to be lonely. Advice? Personal experience?


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Most Helpful Girl

  • I felt like that for a while after experiencing my very first real heartbreak. He turned my daily life into a damn Bruno Mars song -_-
    I think that the remedy for being jaded is acceptance, forgiveness, and self-love.
    First you have to accept the circumstances as they are and accept the fact that your greatest hopes and dreams for that romance are just not going to happen. You have to accept that whatever you two had is currently futureless.
    Then you have to find it in yourself to forgive him and forgive yourself for whatever you or he may have done to cause irreparable damage, harm your self-esteem, make you cry, make you boil with anger, and take away your passion for dating. This one can take a long time but it’s crucial to try your best to forgive because if you don’t then you’re agreeing to stay tethered to the heartache. Forgiveness will bring you a sense of internal freedom.
    Lastly, you really need to practice self-love; truly nurture your mind, body, soul, and heart. START DATING YOURSELF FIRST. Be the type of woman that is enjoyable on all levels and beautiful even in her private moments. Heal whatever heartache you’re going through and take good care of your own heart making sure to protect it yet not clip it’s wings.

    It’s also really helpful to not take yourself too seriously! Don’t take yourself so seriously and don’t take dating so seriously either. Have a more fun, lighthearted, curious approach to dating and less of a “if this doesn’t work out, I’m curling up into a ball in the corner and dying.” approach. Don’t have any expectations from men unless they verbally make a commitment or outright tell you what they intend to do and even then don’t take it seriously unless their actions CONSISTENTLY back it up.

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What Guys Said 1

  • I've definitely been there, and I'm sure many others have, too. It's very easy to get discouraged; especially when you run into a string of people who, for whatever reason, don't work out. It's not only frustrating, but it's hard on one's ego, because we begin wondering if there's something wrong with us.

    I think you did the right thing by taking a break. When doing so, it's not a bad idea to look back at some of the men you were attracted to and see if there are patterns of behavior they are all linked with. For example, do they say the same things in their dating profile, or when you first meet them out?

    I've noticed when I did just that, I was accepting an invite to meet someone who was quite superficial and gave me all the signs she was a serial dater in spite of her saying she was looking for a long term relationship. I also learned it's okay to walk away if something doesn't seem right, or if something they say or write before you meet them rubs you the wrong way; even if they say they are kidding you.

    The most important thing, though, is to try and not take anything personally. You are who you are, so be proud of that and understand you will eventually meet someone who truly appreciates you for being you and nothing more or less. That's what makes meeting a diamond in the rough so gratifying, because we have all those experiences of meeting people that only cause us to get headaches.

    As long as you're not accepting someone simply for the sake of not being alone, and you remain confident and comfortable in your own skin, you'll certainly meet someone worth your time and energy. I promise. You just gotta hang in there.

    Good luck,

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What Girls Said 1

  • Don't get emotionally involved too soon as you don't know what their intentions are. Go on lots of first dates expecting they most likely may not develop any further than that and just be glad if you had a good time but maybe he isn't for you. Keep your eyes open for red flags in his behavior but don't assume he is going to do whatever some previous guy you dated did that was wrong.

    The more frequently you date new people the less expectations you will put on the individual first dates and the better you will get at them. I'd say maybe only 1 out of 10 guys I go on a date on are actually a good fit for an LTR. This helps me get my expectations into perspective and reduces the burn out of getting really worked up about a first date only to have 3 not so good ones in a row.

    Then if you do meet someone and hit it off even after the first few dates remind yourself it is still really early in the getting to know each other phase and NO DAYDREAMING about future activities together.

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