Girls, how would you feel?

So my boyfriend of a few months has an ex girlfriend that said she wanted a break and then started hanging out with another guy and started dating him.. My boyfriend and his ex dated for about 3 years.. He says he hates her and wants nothing to do with her.. She recently added him on facebook and he accepted it.. I obviously got mad and he said he accepted it because "if she tries to come back to me im going to make her feel like shit and make her look like the stupidest perso ever!"... Girls what do you think? Not gonna lie... im kinda heartbroken over him adding her..


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7

Most Helpful Girl

  • It's game-playing. Exes are exes for a reason. All this stupid effort to try and get her pissed off is taking away effort from making you happy. She should be the last thing on his mind, even if the thoughts he has are negative ones. I would be irritated too, and I would tell him she serves no possible purpose in his life and that removing her is what will make everyone satisfied all around. I don't even see why she added him only to find out what he's up to with you, and it's none of her business what he does with his life now.

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    • I agree... Why would she even add him? She has a lot of nerve after she treated him like crap... but he got mad at me when I said he should just delete her.. he never really said anything about it.. all he said was "Do i bitch about your Facebook or snapchat friends? no i don't"

      I'm just so confused and kind of hurt..

    • Show All
    • I agree with you, it is about respect now. And yes i would be willing to delete them. I know in a month or even a year this will seem like the stupidest thing ever but it just kind of hurts me, honestly.. and it doesn't help that she's really pretty...

    • Listen, I'm married, and I had this very issue with my husband a year ago. He had an ex girlfriend on his list, and was private messaging another who was not on his list. I knew about both, and I became angry when the one in PM shamelessly asked for an obscene amount of money to borrow. It bugged me because my husband has such an open heart and considered the loan. I stopped it because she was an ex *because* she abused his money when they were together, and she knew the pattern of his good nature. She wasn't going to pay it back and I put the hammer down on it.

      I told him THESE ARE NOT FRIENDS. If anyone was going to benefit from his hard earned cash it would be me, not some ex, and the fact they swindled him by being accessible to him on Facebook made me realize their motive was to first of all, use it as a tool to show they "still had him" and also to gain power over him in a situation that they thought I can't control. It's called a FRIEND list, not an ENEMY list.

What Girls Said 6

  • Ugh, you aren't the only thing in his life. He has dreams and hobbies and what not. Him having a little fun and making this girl pay for wasting his time makes sense. Adults do childish things to, and I'm sure you do some things that he questions as well. Everyone does at some point.

    I actually did something kind of similar once (re-added them for vengence). That was all it was. I humiated her (yes her) for wasting my time and money and having the audacity for trying to talk to me afterwards, and it was all under the bridge by then. My boyfriend approved because he KNOWS that she hurt me bad.

    How about you just talk to him about your concerns. Do you even trust him? Give him a chance and hear him out.

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  • I wouldn't be heartbroken, if just be concerned. Just keep ur eye out and look for anything sketchy. But maybe just tell him, that if he somehow starts talking to her and wants to start that up again that he needs to tell u and even tho u will b upset it will b good so that u can get on with ur life and find another chance at being happy and that way he can also be happy and no one has to cheat

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  • I'm not going to lie, I'd be concerned but I don't think his way of handling the situation is very appropriate. Since he's in a relationship with you shouldn't his focus he directed elsewhere other than his ex-girlfriend? This just shows that he hasn't moved on and still has harboring emotions for his ex-girlfriend. Not romantic feelings of course, little, if any at all but regret, hatred. He wants "revenge" and feels justified in his actions. I'd keep an eye on the situation not out of jealously but for concern for both parties. It's always good to be "in the loop". Frankly if he wanted to move on he would have declined the request instead of initiating contact with someone he wants out of his life. His motives are debatable.

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  • I think the bigger problem is that he's obviously not over her, that's a deal breaker for me, if you don't care anymore you don't think about them coming back

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  • What he's doing to that poor girl is just rude. Even if he doesn't like her he doesn't have to be a piece of shit towards her

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  • Well you just gotta trust him when he says his intentions aren't gonna harm you (but harm her😉) I get that you're heartbroken but he only wants revenge.

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