Why are people so cruel and not give overweight men and women a chance?

People wonder why most overweight men and women have low self esteem. Oh geez, I wonder why. It is because few people give them a chance. They rejected nonstop when they ask people out on dates.


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Most Helpful Girl

  • I don't really care if they never gave me a chance. Before I met my husband, sure it hurt if a guy passed me over for a thinner woman, but they did me a favour instead of getting together with me and getting on my case about losing weight, or saying something else hurtful while we were together.

    I'm one of these overweight women who (sorry to burst your bubble, fat haters who think we should lose weight because you're all concerned about our health) actually IS healthy. My cholesterol is normal, my blood pressure is normal, my heart works fine, and I've been cancer free with every scan I've had so far. Even better for my health, is my weight has never fluctuated to extremes. So when I heard men tell me that they were just so concerned for my health, I knew enough that with my (good) health, it was obviously a problem because I wasn't aesthetically pleasing to the eye.

    I met men who either didn't give a fig about weight, or men who actually preferred a woman with a few extra pounds. And really, if I never did meet a guy like that, I was fine to just be on my own, as I spend several years between relationships each time and didn't really cry about it.

    But hey, people want what they want. I have preferences too, and without saying what I am not attracted to, lest hurting the guys out there who fit the description of what I don't want, I found it was always best to keep my mouth shut about that and just look for what I did want. :)

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    • Those men used ''health'' as an excuse because they were too chicken to admit they weren't attracted to you. It is bull because many overweight people are healthy like you, so the huge majority of people say that are bullshitting and too chicken to admit the truth.

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    • Yeah, you show reply to his post.

    • should reply to his post.

What Girls Said 6

  • Why don't instead of whining that no one gives them a chance, they actually start eating healthy and working out? No person has to settle for someone he/she isn't attracted to. Plus, most people also want a healthy partner. And if they did give a chance to the overweight person, but weren't physically attracted to them, it also wouldn't be fair to the overweight person. Do you really wanna be with someone who doesn't like how you look? That's kinda sad.

    And also, it's not like no one gives them a chance. There are quite a few guys who are into BBW, there are quite a few women who date/marry an overweight guy. For example, my aunt is very slim, but she's married to an overweight guy. So there's really no need to generalize.

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    • I said most not all and the health thing is an excuse. I know many people who have used that excuse but yet I heard them say to another person that the thought of them having sex with an overweight person disgusts them. Most of the people that use the health excuse are bullshitting. Nothing is wrong with admitting you are not attracted to someone. No need to makeup something. I admire the people that admit they are not attracted to overweight people sexually.

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    • I guess people just don't have the guts to say the truth, since they don't wanna seem shallow, so they choose a reason that's not that shallow, they don't care that the person knows they're lying, they say what they say and hope that it sounds believable.

    • Alright.

  • You can't force someone to give someone who they're not attracted to a chance. I am not attracted to overweight people because it is unhealthy.

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    • That is bull you are not attracted to them because you think all that fat jiggling disgusts you. Health thing is an excuse. There are tons of plenty of overweight people that are healthy. The reason most people don't want to date them is because they aren't attracted to them physically.

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    • You are so childish, seriously

    • You are.

  • I'm actually dating a guy a year older than me that's bigger than I am. I accept him for who he is and not what he looks like. He's a big sweetheart to me and I can't judge him either, because I am a big girl too. But not entirely big. I'd give them a chance. People should just look for other things to like about the person instead of their weight...

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    • Most people aren't like you though. I said most not all.

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    • Thanks. Good topic though. :)

    • Your welcome and thanks.

  • I know it's terrible. The way of the world I suppose

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    • I've learned that it's not about what people say or think about me. I honestly could care less. What I really do care about, is my health. I try my darn hardest to get, and stay healthy and fit for myself. Because I know that when I take care of myself (eat right and exercise), I feel like a million bucks, and no one can take that away from me :)

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    • I said a million times I am not overweight.

    • And you know overweight people get rejected nonstop. I am a non overweight person talking about overweight people. Don't pretend that they don't. The world is not all rainbowish like you make it seem to be. Just because you went out with an overweight person doesn't all of a sudden mean most other people are ok with going out with them too.

  • I'm sorry :/ I really don't mean to hurt your feelings, but the excess weight just isn't something I find attractive. It's not just a visually stimulant thing, but it's a matter of health. People who are overweight are at much more of a risk for serious health problems like diabetes, high blood pressure, and more. Not only that, but I really try to exercise self-discipline and eat right so I'd be worried that their eating habits would rub off on me. For example, if we were dating or hanging out all the time and they had a habit of wanting to go out to eat all the time instead of staying in and cooking a healthy meal or if they'd rather eat potatoes chips instead of fresh, cold cucumbers with sea salt. Their negative lifestyle habits may start to rub off on me. Other than that, the physicality of excess weight is not something I find attractive.

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    • At least you admit it is not something you find sexually attractive. Many people don't admit that all and are too chicken and just say the health excuse. You say the health thing, but most people don't admit the sexually attracted part. Many people are chicken. Most overweight people know they are too afraid to admit it.

    • I don't think it's that people are 'chicken' but that they're being considerate towards a touchy, sensitive topic. A lot of people just don't want to be mean-spirited and make someone feel like crap.

    • Alright.

  • I don't give them a chance out of fear of being eaten alive.

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What Guys Said 11

  • Well, I do gym constantly and eat well to keep in shape, why would I give an obese person a chance when I can get a non-obese person because of the work I put in? Obesity is a choice. Or as Marilyn Monroe says "There is no such thing as an ugly girl, just a lazy girl"

    P. s. I have a 6 pack and low self esteem too. Weight loss is an easy problem to solve, try being that personality that attracts women. Much harder.

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  • Same reason why we shun smokers.

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  • Why don't they lose weight?

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  • Because people don't find them physically attractive

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    • I know that.

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    • People are chicken to admit it.

    • People need to stop being chicken.

  • Im going to be real with you, I did not lose 45+ pounds to date overweight women who reject overweight guys

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  • people want to date healthy individuals make sense not out of piety

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    • Most people use the health thing as an excuse since they are too chicken to admit they are not sexually attracted to overweight people.

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    • It's not being ashamed it is not being chicken to admit it

    • The problem is people are chicken to admit.

  • I don't think it is a general as all that

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    • What?

    • What are you trying to say?

    • What I meant was that I didn't think that people were being rejected solely because of their weight maybe because I am in an older age group and looks become less of a dealbreaker as you get older.

  • Not only is it unattractive and unhealthy for various reasons - overweight also almost always is a physical expression of serious mental issues and thus a red-flag.

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    • People use health as an excuse cause there are many overweight people that are healthy. Most people just don't find fat people attractive because they think they look disgusting.

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    • Be butthurt all you want - it has biological reasons. Deal with it.

      Also many people do actually find smoking unattractive. Feel free to make a poll on here and see the results.

    • I am not butthurt at all. I am not overweight. Read Ozanne's post at how guys made ridculous excuses to her.

  • Why are those people cruel to themselves and not drop the weight?

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    • ? ? ? ?

    • There's nothing confusing there.

    • It is not easy to lose weight.

  • Amen I've been saying that for years. Overweight women to some men are seen as
    sexy while overweight men are seen as lazy, disgusting, no good etc. Plus you'll always here the term BBW flying around.

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  • That only happens to overweight men... Overweight women still have WAY MORE opportunities with dating and sex. The only time I seen a overweight guy with a girlfriend is if she's overweight to or his rich and famous like Rick Ross.

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