Was he shy or not interested? Why didn't he ask me out?

I recently changed jobs and a guy there immediately caught my eye. He would often look surprised or even startled to see me. But would engage me in conversation but it was minimal and awkward.

Although I am shy I decided that I was going to talk to him. I wasn't going NOT try like I usually do. We went from awkward hellos to friendly conversation and playful banter in a matter of days really. I truly do believe that he was interested by the way he would look at me and how receptive he was to our conversations.

He told me he was leaving and that hit me like a ton of bricks because I really felt a connection. I told him I would miss him and he insisted that he would see me around and he would be back to visit. I wanted to ask him was that enough for him or ask him out or for contacts but I couldn't work up the nerve. And he did nothing.

Did I drop the ball or did he? Why didn't he ask me out? I thought I dropped plenty of hints. What is going on with the guy brain? I miss him and I barely know him. :/


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Most Helpful Guy

  • The problem is that you're "dropping hints". Why not just ask him out? He's probably just shy.

    Situations like these is exactly why you should not just give hints. You're only frustrating yourself, and the guy is not psychic. Grow some ovaries and ask him out, stop sitting by the sidelines.

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    • Sorry for the outburst, but your question practically answers itself. You haven't made it clear that you like him, and then you wonder why he doesn't know that you like him. Next time, just ask him out. Nothing wrong with a girl doing that. You'd save yourself and the guy a headache.

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    • It's okay. You are right. But I've grown one ovary because I would have never initiated contact with him a year ago. Which im not so sure he would have if I didn't. He also became more open and less shy as we talked. . So I'm doing better. Apparently I should have asked the question in the time I had. Because telling someone you'll miss them isn't the same for liking them.

      I thought that was clear but a lot of people have confirmed for me that this isn't the case.

      I thought that IF I see him when he comes back to the school , I would ask for his social media contacts. That isn't too forward and a lot of people are more comfortable that way.

      I thought I'd give him my number as well and he can do what he wants with it.

    • That's nice of you to say. I've heard from so many people that it was my fault, his fault or both our faults. I know he liked me and I thought it was obvious thst I liked him.

      I've come to the realization that I don't want to just let life happen and want to control what happens and go after what I want. And I was. It's just I'm still shy and I needed a bit more time. I was doing good. I would have never talked to him a year ago. He reminds me of me a few years ago. I've never been the more assertive one and I turned out to be.

      I don't mean to give hints but I thought texting or talking on social media would help us both since we aren't so good at it face to face. It's so frustrating because he gets a bit quiet or cautious around me but he is so outgoing with everyone else. I wish he was like that with ne. I suppose I am that way with him as well.

      I've missed a few questions as well. Looking back he tried to chat with me after work and I missed it too.

      We suck at this.

What Guys Said 2

  • He's probably intrested because people dont stare at ugly people. He might be like me a lot of girls (Ones that stare at me back) probably think im shy but it' s not true I just can't approach them out of respect for my girlfriend. There usually girls that are super pretty and if I was single id hit them up. Maybe he's In a relationship or he's shy it's definitely one of these. Dw next time u see him ask for his digits and tell him u like him.

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  • You could have asked him out. Or ask him out now. But you have to consider that he might not be interested and he wanted to be just your friend.

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    • Yeah very true. But I do believe he was interested. He would scan me with his eyes and touch me and he would really go out of his way to help me. I don't think a person would do that unless they were.

      BUT I've considered something else, him wanting to play it safe and not date even if he did like me. Either way it may not go anywhere but I'll still try. You never know unless you ask. And I'll be brave and ask. If it doesn't turn out the way I want it to , I'll end up with someone better for me.

    • Yay! That's the spirit!

    • Ha ha. Yes that's the spirit.

What Girls Said 2

  • sorry, he doesn't sound interested.. :/

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    • Thanks for your comment. I believe he was interested just shy. I forgot to give more detail in our interactions. It doesn't matter really. We both dropped the ball.

  • not interested.

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