We have a problem about who should get in touch?

I have this problem with the guy I'm seeing, it's always this talk about who should get in touch in order to meet up. He says that he always has to do it which is true but lately I've started to. I told him that I do get in touch more now but he said like three times. He has told me before many times to get in touch first because he feels like he is the only one who does it, I don't really see it. I haven't spoken to him in three days and it doesn't feel good. He has no idea what I'm up to. When we said goodbye he told me I get to get in touch now, once again. I want to but I'm shy and I don't want to be annoying! Last time I texted first a lot of times I was told that I was annoying then I was dumped. Anyway he said that he got a lot of time to see me.


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Most Helpful Guy

  • Women should initiate most of the texts and phone calls, and the guy should ask you out and plan a date if you don't have one planned already.

    The reason for that is that women are attracted to guys they have to chase and women are attracted to guys who are busy with work and being successful. If your guy is calling and texting your first most of the time, then he isn't letting you chase him and he isn't presenting himself as a guy who is busy being successful, both of which are going to lower your attraction for him. That isn't to say he should never call or text your first, but 8-9 times out of 10, it should be you.

    Also, you don't need to worry about being annoying or looking needy as long as you wait for him to respond. If you call or text and he doesn't answer right away then just be patient, don't keep calling and texting. He might be busy in a meeting or he might be hanging out with his friends. It would be rude if was he with you and he took business calls or texted his friends, and the same goes for when he's at work or hanging out with friends, give him time to get back to you.

    You only need to be worried he you text or call him and you don't have a date scheduled and he doesn't try to schedule one, or if he's rude or indifferent to you. If you texting him and say "Hey, I was just thinking about you and I'm really looking forward to our date tonight! Have a great day!" and he responds back with something short and unexciting such as "me too", then something might be up.

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What Guys Said 3

  • Unless you're texting a guy in the middle of night when they're sleeping or if you text them when you know they're at work or are doing something where it would be inappropriate for their phone to go off they wouldn't find it annoying if they actually like you. He might just feel like you don't care about him like he cares about you. He just wants to feel desired. If he's making this big of a deal about it he won't find you annoying. Any guy that actually truly likes a chick will love it when they see her texting him out of the blue.

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  • He sounds kinda needy. Like he needs you to pursue him so he feels better.

    That said, you want to keep seeing him then text him. He told you that's what he wants. If he gets annoyed that you contacted him then he's playing some stupid game with you and you should dump him.

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  • This is a problem LOTS of guys have, myself included. If we're constantly the ones always reaching out, we get the feeling that you aren't interested. Why? Because when you want something... you go after it. The guy clearly wants you, so he goes after your time and attention. The fact that he has to constantly make the first move probably makes it all seem a bit one sided. If you want him, go after him. 9 times out of ten, guys are every bit as shy as you are. But letting shyness hold you back gets you NOTHING.

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What Girls Said 2

  • I think he feels like he is putting more effort than you are. He may be questioning if your interested and what not in him. Text him first

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  • you should talk to him.

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