Hello I have been reading these forums for a while and decided to seek out some advice as well. So please bare with me. Anyways to get to my point, I met this girl a couple months back and have been talking to her through text and email. I tried calling her but she ends up just texting back and such. I have been talking to her for a couple months now and I feel it is already time I should ask her out. Some signs I felt that she was interested in me was she gave me her number, invited me to one of her plays, introduced me to her friends and parents, and even went to lunch with me. Now the thing is recently she has kind of been ignoring me, like in text messages she won't reply right away, or not even reply at all. Also recently I asked her to have lunch with me so that I can finally ask her out on a date. The thing is she said maybe at first if she had time, then when the time came for the lunch date, she did not even bother to let me know that she couldn't make. I ended up asking if she was free that day to have lunch, and she just replied with a quick response saying she was busy and she was sorry. I would think she would make time to reschedule, but she did not even bother. I understand she is a busy person, but it just seems like to me she is not interested anymore. Should I let her contact me, or should I try contacting her again? Or Should I just give up? Thanks for the help. If any more info is needed I will provide them upon request.
Should I give up with her? Or do I still have a chance?
What Girls Said 1
Don't contact her. Leave it be. If she's interested, she'll be back in contact with you. If you feel you're the only one initiating contact then it's time to lay off. The fact that she couldn't be bothered to cancel/ postpone lunch shows that she's not considerate to you. Your time is just as valuable as hers. It should have been common courtesy to let you know in good time that she can't make it. Let this one go and like I said, if she is interested then she'll be in touch.1
What Guys Said 1
"I understand she is a busy person, but it just seems like to me she is not interested anymore."
Sorry to say that you're right. Your gut feelings are spot on.
"or should I try contacting her again? Or Should I just give up?"
Give up. You didn't do anything wrong from what you wrote. Highly likely she found someone else suddenly. She didn't have the maturity to sit down, and give this brief episode a proper closure.
With girls, if they are not (become not) interested in you, the more you "knock on the door" the more they become annoyed. You become a nuisance, like a fly, that's all. If they want you, they would go out of the way to pave ways for you to meet them. Players excluded that is, those are flirting and fishing just for "the excitement of reeling in the fish".
In relationships, you sometimes have to go through a few brief ones to get the one you want (assuming you already had that figured out). It doesn't matter as long as you are on the right track. You're on the right track if the girls you are meeting are close, but not 100% spot on. Just make sure you don't swim off to the deep end of the pool (e.g. having sex in less than a month). That way, no one gets really hurt when either one party finds the other isn't suitable.
Are those episodes/mini-heartbreaks/disappoointments worth it? Sure, you are getting to the girl YOU want (vice versa for her). No compromises. Look at how many are suffering day & night in the miserable mediocre relationships they're in, the high divorce rates. Guess what the price is for them, day & night? Would you trade their nightmares with those mini-disappointments of yours? No.1
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