Do guys like when girls play hard to get or totally into them?


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Most Helpful Guy

  • If you act like you're not interested in me, I'm going to think you're not interested in me. Don't play hard to get.

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What Guys Said 100

  • 1. Hard to get - I'm history :D
    2. Totally into - so long as it's not suffocatingly obsessive
    3. Anything's (between these choices here) good but in moderation
    4. I like it when a girl is herself and not trying to be something else :)

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  • Depends on the confidence of the guy. Players for example have tons of confidence and enjoy the chase. Really shy guys on the other hand generally prefer for the girl to pursue him.

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  • Adding unnecessary complication to the process basically tells me the whole process is a game to you and I'm not worth your respect. No thanks. And that's assuming I'm a be to tell that you're just playing hard to get and just not into me, which I usually can't.

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  • I think playing hard-to-get isn't something you do for guys. Rather, it is a way to either filter out guys, or milk guys of extra attention. It's a way to feel on top or better-than a guy who is interested in you. In which case, you filter out the guys who respect a girl's signs of disinterest and are left with the guys who don't care.

    One of the big things that makes girls attractive is sexual energy. So actually playing "hard-to-get" is killing that. Probably creating more resentment than attraction.

    The only kinds of playing hard to get I can think of as being attractive would be either a role-playing date, or "flirtatiously asking to be chased", which could also be fun.

    But I think we know damn well girls wouldn't want guys to chase girls who seem aloof and disinterested. In any other case, this is called street harassment.

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  • I don't like games so if a girl plays hard to get I'm moving on. I just can't imagine a lifetime with someone who's into "guess what I'm really thinking" scenarios. Bleah.

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  • Never play hard to get, it's pointless, and with the amount of girls out there (and how easy it is) you'll just end up alone.
    Don't act too clingy, but show interest, don't make it hard, it doesn't work in your favor, or anybody's favor.

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  • Playing "hard to get" = insta-good bye! I want to date a mature woman. Not a child.

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  • not into games so when a girl "plays" anything I'm usually turned off

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  • no, its annoying and it screws with a guys head.
    Stop playing games with people. Men and women spend far too much time trying to figure each other out, and over evaluate. This hard to get behavior is what makes guys a little weird at times. Hard to get is just fooling around with someone's emotions, someone who is most likely already depressed enough as it is. And now, some girl he likes, is playing games with his head. Playing hard to get needs to stop. Its cute the first time, but women have this way of playing it out for a longer time -_-

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  • Hard to get is the fucking worst because 1) I don't know if she's actually playing hard to get, or if she's just naturally hard to get. And by "get" I mean "read" as well "obtain as a girlfriend." And 2) if she is playing hard to get, it should be called impossible to get.

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  • depends on my mood. I have been completely turned off by girls straight up telling me they like me before.

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  • Hell no. I have better things to do then to chase your needy ass around all day. If it's obvious that you are into me and you start to play mind games (pretending you like someone else, who also likes you, pretending I don't exist etc etc.) I'm gonna say screw it and talk to someone who cares enough about me to not string me along.

    by the way ladies, just because a guy is nice to you doesn't mean he wants you. So don't get ahead of yourself and play hard to get when no one is trying to get you anyway please.

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  • It depends. It has to be just the right balance. If I know you like me very early on, I will likely not try nearly as hard, I think because I likely have not had the time to have the same feelings for her first. Sometimes though, they can come on too fast and heavy it can be a turn off, like they are desperate.

    If a girl is too hard to get though, I will likely loose interest as well and think she is a bit stuck up.

    Just don't come out extreme one way or the other, I usually withhold how much I like a girl, at least for the the early early bits because girls work this way too, or at least I have found every time.

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  • I prefer a girl who is direct with that kind of stuff, playing hard to get is just wasting my time and my interest... if I don't think someone likes me back i'll soon drop it.

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  • I prefer when a girl is totally into me. Playing hard to get is annoying and disingenuous if she's truly into me.

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  • Most guys hate it when girls play hard to get, some girls may think it makes them attractive but the truth is it turns men off and they look for other girls.

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  • in between a girl fully falling for a guy can be uncomfortable especially if she's becoming to focused and becoming clumsy cause all she thinks about is the guy in her life. I worry when my girlfriend tells me she fell down stairs and stuff as much as its nice to know that type of stuff its kinda uncomfortable for the guy knowing he could have caught her or helped her through the door. also playing hard to get can be A MAJOR turn off for guys. It can also make the girl feel like no guy wants her cause all the guys dont want to work that hard to get her. So basically the right amount of sassyness and being a total love dove is what makes a guys heart soar.

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  • Inside a women's head, she is thinking he will chase me even more if I play hard to get.

    Inside a mans head, he is thinking she obviously doesn't like me, do I'm going to move on.

    Word of advice... NEVER play hard to get unless you want desperate, over confident, cocky men.

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  • If a girl begins to play hard to get, I will stop communicating with her entirely. I'm not interested in games. If she expresses interest in me, I'm going to express interest in her. I don't find anything desirable about girls who play hard to get.

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  • I would say little bit of both

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  • Playing hard to get is just a game. Big problem is, at what point does a guy give up and walk away? It seems like a game where the lady risks losing big time as well as winning. I think it is much better to walk side by side than keep turning away from the guy.

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  • Never. Who wants to play games? If a woman starts that I just go on to the next one. Someone who is serious about being serious.

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  • Well in some ways yes and in some ways no.

    If they play hard to get then it kind of shows that they're not easy but at the same time sometimes if they do it for too long then I lose interest quickly and move on

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  • I like it when she subtly drops hints of interest.

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  • That depends on what you mean by "hard to get".

    Read this. It'll answer your questions.
    www.girlsaskguys.com/.../a10123-hard-to-get-what-does-it-actually-mean-through-the-eyes-of-a-guy

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  • Be obvious. I'm a relatively shy person, and if someone I don't know plays hard to get, it's likely I'll never end up speaking to that person, just out of the fact that I'd never know.
    If someone I do know played hard to get, it wouldn't go anywhere because I'd never be able to tell that they're interested. From my perspective, if someone is being distant, it tells me that the person in question most likely has no interest in me whatsoever.

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  • Can't speak for other guys but for me, girls that play hard to get are hard to want.

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    • I agree. When you are both "mutually attracted", like why play games.
      Peace xo

  • I don't like either one. Don't like games and I don't like someone who's super into me from the get go.

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  • if a girl plays hard to get i will drop her immediately. no time for this kiddy crap.

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  • Have posted similar before , I would take it as not interested , then I'd simply forget about her , DON'T play silly games , ladies , remember we have totally differently wired brains to you & cannot read subtle female signals , unless we're well trained , so this will backfire.

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  • More from Guys
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What Girls Said 26

  • Be in the middle, be flirtatious. Being totally into them can make you come off as too easy, and he might lose interest because of it. Worse, he may also jump to concluding that you are that easily woo'ed by many men, and think you are lose.

    But playing hard to get can send the wrong message, instead of him concluding "oh, she wants me to try harder" he may conclude "wow, this girl isn't interested at all. Time to move on".

    So dance between the two, flirt with him but don't devote all your time to him, occasionally find something to do that gives you a reason to not spend so much time talking to him, but don't actively push him away. Just make it clear you have other things to worry about besides him, but he's still high on your priority list.

    I consider this flirting done right.

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  • Guys say they want the girl to be totally straight forward, but that's a lie. Everyone likes the chase. I found that out a while ago. I like the chase. There is nothing fun about getting everything so easily. I like to have to work a little harder for things. It makes it more valuable to me.

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    • I don't like the chase, don't speak for me please. Intentionally making stuff harder is exactly the mind games that I despise.

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    • I get what you're saying. I get it. Nobody wants to end up in the dreaded (not real) 'friend-zone'. I used to say that I'd rather just kind of jump into the dating scene kind of thing, but after my last relationship. I was starting to believe I didn't like that very much. What made me realize that I wanted to be friends first was while I was becoming close with my best friend. I love the way our friendship is and how close we are and how I can tell him any and everything and just be completely myself with him. I love that and I want to have that with my future boyfriend because by then he knows me and if he's stuck with me with all of my problems and craziness, then I know he's a keeper. I have trust issues and I want to know that he's not just going to walk away as soon as he sees the real me. I also like it better when I gradually fall for the person instead of wanting them right then and there. @bigboi22

    • trust me i do too. i would love to skip all the drama and just have a friendship that meant something more (relationship). but the other person is not thinking the same way usually.

  • Just from what a lot of my guy friends have told me, they like there to be some mystery and some chase but many girls take it too far and end up being distant or cold. Which makes them feel like they're disinterested.

    They want you to show interest but not be obsessed with them on the first date.

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  • From how I've been raised up, men love a chase. From my experience with my boyfriend, the chase is good and healthy for the both of us. It keeps me from being too clingy and needy of him, and it keeps him interested and wondering how I'm doing throughout the day.

    The guys on here say they hate the chase, well I'm here to tell you that you're either too daggone lazy and don't have the stamina the men in the old days had... also, you haven't met the One yet. Once you meet her, you will automatically do what you can to get and keep her in your sight... yes, even chase after her.

    I said my piece, now I'm through. U dudes can hate and down vote all u want. It won't change the truth. ;)

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    • How would you know if they were the one if you couldn't get to know them because they kept playing an immature game which is something my "the one" won't be. It's not being lazy it's having self respect to know when you're being rejected or fooling around with a immature person. Hard to claim you have self respect if a girl just yanks you along like a fool.

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    • Hey girl, do what works for u. I'm doing what's working for me, and because I've been taught that guys don't like easy women, I'm going to stay this way. My boyfriend doesn't have a problem with it, in fact he told me he likes it, which is what drew him to me in the first place. So u do u, I'm doing me. And it's working for me just fine, seeing my boo has been around for atwo years ;)

    • I kinda agree with you, I personally want to feel like I got something no other guy could get. It's the perceived value of something. But I'm not going to disrespect myself to chase a girl, too many girls go overboard with the hard to get thing, it borders on self delusion and just being a rude bitch and you can say and do literally the perfect things and they'll just be like meh. It's the best when both people intrinsically understand that the girls playing hard to get, like an unspoken communication. I want to feel like I bagged a prized catch.

  • i guess it depends on the guy

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  • Depends on the guy.

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    • he's a really cool and laid back guy..

  • Guys hate when we play hard to get but in reality it's one of few things that actually works. If we are obvious they think we're clingy and obsessive, my advice is to play hard to get and give him subtle hints every now and then. Don't make it easy. Nothing worth doing is easy.

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    • Lol, I basically say the same thing and I get 4 downvotes from guys for it.

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    • @existig_not_living
      Please tell me I'm not the only one who didn't understand a word of that bullshit ^^^

    • Just noticed this again and I'd like to point out how hilarious this is that the three upvotes are girls and the three downvotes are guys... sorry fellas, it's not as easy as you'd like it to be xD

  • i think it is dumb you either like the guy or you do not do not give him mix signs or play hard to get because there could be some other cute girl that is not play hard to get and he will go with him and not you so stop the crap and be a real gal and show some feelings to the poor guy

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  • I personally think it depends on the guy.. I always play hard to get and I always get the guy I like to like me back... So it works for me 😊

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  • You have to find a balance point. Don't give him too much attention if you barely know him. But if you know he's worth your while, then give him about as much attention as he gives you. It's the balance point between desperation and disinterest.

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  • I think most guys like when you're obvious

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  • For me, I'll play a little of both. Play a little hard to get just to see if the guy really takes the effort to chase after you. To see if the guy really likes you and not look for fun or attention from girls.
    So, play a little of both is balance. :)

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  • I have played hard o get with a few guys when i was younger, it never worked out in the end. The relationships that worked for me were the ones were i just showed and feelings and was open about it.

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  • i think it is very dumb you either want that guy or not girl make up your mind or he's gonna find that gal that he wants and is not playing hard to get

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  • The men who want to date me ALWAYS make this known.
    If I am mutually attracted, its a done deal :)

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  • I don't know but I've noticed some guys crave the attention when you aren't giving it to them, others will just move on. So it depends on the guy

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  • I think I know the answer to this... Do guys like mixed signals... do we even like mixed signals? I think both will be a No.

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  • yes... even he likes u a lot from start... it's like u get bored of ur old phone, even it's a iphone 6 plus... but u always want the new one that not released yet...

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  • Well depends on they guy. A guy friend of mine likes me im hard to get and comfortable around me. I don't know how that works. But playing hard to get will make any guy lose interest. There is a difference between hard to get and playing hard to get.

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  • Girls like guys who are there for them... Act like a best friend. Who doesn't want to date their bfffs?

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    • So why do the majority of women chase charismatic guys who use them like hoes on rotations?

  • I guess so..
    But better keep ur dignity up..
    I Personally demand.. I do not supply.. ;)

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  • Yes, they like when girls totally into them

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  • Immature guys like you to play hard to get. They are also the ones that don't want you once they get you. Avoid these type of guys. ;)

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  • if someone is straight up with me i am back. but i'm not always too obvious, even when I think i am. in fact, i've been told i'm difficult to read. sometimes if people come on too strong it scares me off. but if the guy plays games with me I play them back: fair is fair.

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  • I would say little bit of both.
    If you play hard to get, eventually he will get tired of it and move on. I'm not a guy but I'm pretty sure many guys would hate it when a girl plays hard to get lol

    If you totally into him, like text before he texts, call before he calls, do all the moves before he even thinks, obviously he will take it so easy he won't even try a thing to earn you.
    I mean, it's good to show him that you are into him, but I'm saying give him a chance to call you first, n stuffs like that don't be too easy.

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  • somewhere in the middle.

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