Girls, should I listen to my intuition? Or gut? Please read, I need support? LONG DISTANCE RELATIONSHOP?



I am having a serious crush crisis and need help on what to do.
You see, I have a huge crush on this guy and i think he was interested in me.
As he would always laugh at my jokes,
he would compliment me and flirt and tease.
The thing is that he lives in America, and I live in England.
And he addressed the issue and told me that he just wants to be friends, because he can not trust himself to be committed
in a long distance relationship.
My intuition/Gut is telling me not to give up on him...
it is really saying " No, don't give up, if he's interested but won't commit, there must be a way"
but i just don't know what to do...
and I am honestly begging you here to please... please... please
please can you reply to this? I have nobody else to turn to, i wanted to ask Marni Kinry but i could not contact her
please I really need your help.
I think he was interested on me,
he wants to watch movies with me on Skype
we plan to meet up in the the future
he laughs at most of my jokes even when they are lame
he remembers things about me
he compliments me
and he flirts and has teased with me.
we even talked about having a bath together and holding hands and tickling each other and stuff. We even have nicknames for each other !
But he said that
" He wants the freedom to be able to sleep with who he wants without worrying about hurting someone he never sees unsure emoticon"
and i know he says that, but
do i really mean absolutely nothing to him?
somethingg inside tells me not to give up and I can't shrug it off...
but I also have no idea what to do.
And I am going to see him Easter.
twll me why I shouldn't be giving up. Has anyone been in a similar situation?


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7

Most Helpful Girl

  • If he really means that much to you, then I think it's worth keeping him in your life, even as a friend. Feel free to date other guys, just as he seems to be. And if it's meant to be, a relationship may develop later on which would be stronger with that friendship foundation.

    "Sleep-around" phases usually only ever last a few years and if you put in the effort to keep him as a friend, odds are it'll be something more once you're both older. Forcing a relationship when people have very different romantic goals is always a bad idea, and once the damage is done, you can't really get that person back in your life.

    Don't forget, when your in your 20s you'll be able to travel or go on exchange in college, or vice versa for him. If you're worried about "losing him", I really don't think that's a valid concern. I doubt he's going to settle down anytime soon, so instead of putting your life on hold for HIM, keep him as a friend, and feel free to date around and find someone better for you.

    And always practice safe sex...

    Also, it may be hard to believe at 16, but when a guy wants you around just as a friend it doesn't necessarily mean that " you mean nothing to him". You obviously have a good rapport and he went through the effort of being honest with you, so please don't feel like your only options are to date or never talk to him again. Two of my close friends came from failed relationships, and we're all pretty happy with our lives now so yep. That's my spiel.

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    • Thank you for all of your inputs, they were all helpful but I loved your opinion the most. Thanks girls! If i could, I'd make you all the most helpful.

    • Glad I could help, hope everything works out! :)

What Girls Said 6

  • For now, I think you should just focus on a friendship with him, if that wouldn't be too hard or hurtful for you.
    Since he's already expressed that he isn't looking for a relationship, hanging on to false hope any further will only hurt you in the end.

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    • You have no idea though.
      You didn't see the way he looked at me on Skype and the way he laughed at what I said,
      The way he said he would cuddle me and tickle me an pick fluff off of my nose. He said all these things, he's called me pretty cute and gorgeous. I can't give it all up, I will focus on friendship with him, but if my gut tells me not to give up, I think I should listen.

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    • But he did like me, even if he says he did not, I believe he did. Everyone else thought so too, he said I could be his princess even, and he still wants to watch a movie with me on Skype and I think my gut is telling me the right thing.

    • I do hope your gut is right, but just be careful.

  • Pursuing something with someone who clearly does not want to commit is completely useless and a waste of time and feelings. Keep being friends with him if you want to, but you should never expect it to turn into anything. He said he doesn't trust himself, so why should you? Seems like he would get bored of the relationship really fast because you can't physically be together, so he would most likely cheat. Is that really what you want? Luckily he was honest and nice enough to say it to you. Don't expect him to magically change, that's really rare.

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  • Hey girl hope you are well,
    Sorry you are facing this situation right now, but honestly I think trust your gut to the extent that you shouldn't completely cut him out your life, but don't keep the situation as it is either. I think you should keep your options open, have him as a friend but draw the line there. I know it can be really hard, but it will be for the best in the long run. I think right now you guys should just keep it chill and you continue to do you. Date, have fun, socialize whatever it is you need to do, go for it. You guys sound like you have an incredible bond and I wouldn't want you to lose that friendship but a relationship wouldn't be a healthy option either. Its cool that he could it least be honest about it and I think he is being this honest because he cares enough about you to let you know where you guys stand. So for know, though it will be tough I think you should keep doing you and you guys just stay as good friends.

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  • Yes I've been in a similar shoes. Let go and give up because no point forcing him to stay you'll hurt both yourself and him. If he wants to be with you he will change his mind. If u fight him to stay he will eventually span and ruin your friendship and relationship because no one wants to be caged.

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  • Keep talking to him but also keep dating and being social. Good luck.

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  • lol sounds like my story. My boyfriend said the same thing. I confessed and he said he felt the same way. But he can't do the distance shit. Anyways, I've visited him. Honestly, i didn't expect anything from him bc i was having so much of fun. On my last day there, he decided to do it. We are in a relationship. He said before i came to visit him, he already wanted a relationship with me but didn't acknowledge it in his head. I'm not sure for your crush. But if a man really loves you, he'll never let you go. All the best lovesickbomb:)

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    • I'm scared though... Please reply

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    • oh and when u meet him, bring someone along with you.

    • Lol I would love to but I need to get to xp 2 or something and I don't know how to xD

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